The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: Ori on April 19, 2016, 10:28:14 PM
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So basically, I think I have a problem... With being way too formal. I lived with my asian mom all the time and my dad was around during the night all the time, so I spent more time with mom as a child. And I guess that put me on the path to being formal... A little too formal. Like I've had times when a friend's parents got annoyed at me for being so formal. And another time, a racist parent who doesn't want her son to date someone of a different skin color took me in with open arms. In fact their were times when the mother was like 'son what are you doing, you know unless you don't invite (Insert my name here) he wouldn't enter the house.' So yeah... Teacher's love me for being quiet and being the least crazy in class. It's good and all with the parents and teachers but outside of that err...
I have a constant 'good' habit of holding the door open for anyone if I notice them. I have moments where I ask to hold things and the other person is perfectly capable of doing so (They almost never take advantage of that though.) And I ask myself, why the heck do I ask when it's clearly not necessary. All my shirts, are blanks, or they say something like Polo and some kind of symbol, or just faded designs and stuff (Hard to explain but basically they don't have anything recognizable in the design). I've never sagged my pants a day in my life. I avoid hoodies all together. (Though I wear some at home.) I even avoid shorts and it gets to like 90 degrees summer. When I used to do parkour I wore jeans (All year around.) (Not sweat pants, never sweat pants). (You kind of get how I'm way too cautious and formal with what I wear. I even stopped wearing sneakers and started wearing boots and flannels during Summer.) Now usually I don't think of this as a problem. But I have times when I'm anxious about talking to people, and I realized I don't think being formal, and talking formal all the time is good. It kind of deducts from being open to talk to. And it doesn't help that no one says Farewell and Good morning/evening/ night anymore. You know that's kind of not normal.) Now if I know a person I'm more open and even to certain people I respond with an "Ayy! What's up?"
Another thing is with girls. Now I know that sounds weird. But I'm formal despite how much I want to knock it off around girls. There's one girl that I'm used to talking to so I can force down the formal act. But outside of that, my friends can talk to girl's normally and treat them more like friends but I can't. I keep getting that, "Hey you should hold the door open for the girl" feeling in my head and at some points a girl tried to hug me and I was kind of like um.. oh... Awkward hug... (You won't believe how uncomfortable I am about hugging people, wish I wasn't.) Even towards friends I dislike being hugged. I know that isn't exactly bad, but I'm trying to break my shy habits and that isn't helping. I feel like that's kind of why girls aren't so interested in me either, and I do want a girlfriend. (Aside from that one time a few months back a girl did have interest in me.)
What do you guys think stop being so formal, and be more expressive. (Even in clothing, I really want to buy band T-shirts, Alestorm all the way. But I never have the courage to wear them since that's like the last thing people expect me to wear.) Or should I keep what I'm doing and keep up with my formalities. (boo boring.)
(Derr Why did I go all over the place.)
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If you think being formal is unpleasant i think it's a good idea to be more casual but it's up to you.
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First, Alestorm is the shizz.
Second, do what you want. If being formal is what you're used to doing that's just part of who you are. You feel a desire to more casually express yourself and that's ok, even my brother's office has Casual Fridays. Don't focus too hard on what others think of you. You are your own person with your own feelings to put first. Everyone needs to be casual sometimes, but don't confuse that with being someone you are not.