Author Topic: LonelyKats Poetry... (may be slightly graphic)  (Read 2069 times)

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Offline Mathais

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LonelyKats Poetry... (may be slightly graphic)
« on: April 04, 2011, 10:41:46 PM »
Okay well I am going to start posting my poems that I have written over the years on here.
Some may be graphic, and dark so RYOR (read at your own risk)

Also thank you ahead of time for reading and/or commenting...

Constructive criticism welcome! <3


Post Merge: April 04, 2011, 10:58:19 PM
The Undead Warrior

I am powerful
I am immortal
I am dead
I am alive
I am neither
I am both
I dine on unsuspecting hosts
Hopelessly screaming, as my fangs sink deeper and deeper, staining my teeth
Oh! That delectable taste, that steely crimson that I lick from my lips
Soon you sink to the floor
Forever my slave

I dream
I dream of my mortal years
I dream of my family
I dream of the warmth of my wife's soft skin
The laughter of my children
The screams as I watched them die, forever tainting my mind

I am cursed with these thoughts
Forever locked in my mind
Now I lay in my deathbed, stake through heart
Forever knowing that,

I am a Vampire
An Undead Warrior
« Last Edit: April 04, 2011, 10:58:19 PM by LonelyKat232, Reason: Merged DoublePost »
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Offline serpington

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Re: LonelyKats Poetry... (may be slightly graphic)
« Reply #1 on: April 05, 2011, 11:52:17 AM »
very nice. it fits together and in overall is a good poem. but i have to mention that i'm not really the type to deeply analize peoples work, i prefur to enjoy the work for what is writen but i can't help but ask, is there any deeper meaning behind this poem that you intended to express? i'm sorry if thats abit straight forward, and i understand if you don't wish to answer.
“I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
"If ever you should need my life, come and take it. If I die, I forgive you, if I recover, we shall see."

Offline Mathais

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Re: LonelyKats Poetry... (may be slightly graphic)
« Reply #2 on: April 05, 2011, 08:03:52 PM »
No thats a very reasonable question, but kind of Its to say that even monsters, or those that are perceived as monsters have feeling and didnt get their beginnings as 'monsters.'
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Offline Taco <3

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Re: LonelyKats Poetry... (may be slightly graphic)
« Reply #3 on: April 06, 2011, 01:23:47 AM »
i likes it <3 *claps lightly but childishly tew self*
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Offline serpington

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Re: LonelyKats Poetry... (may be slightly graphic)
« Reply #4 on: April 06, 2011, 01:25:21 AM »
nicely answered. and once again i really liked your poem and look forward to seeing more.
“I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
"If ever you should need my life, come and take it. If I die, I forgive you, if I recover, we shall see."

Offline Mathais

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Re: LonelyKats Poetry... (may be slightly graphic)
« Reply #5 on: April 06, 2011, 01:33:50 AM »
The Forest of the Unwanted

In this forest I walk
There is much to see
Eyes within shadows
Trees great with horror
Dark damp green leaves
Vines twist and twirl
Branches mangled and marled
Trunks beaten and bleeding
Black putrid swamps lay at my feet
The sights I see are depressing
Filled with the unwanted and unloved
But what I see also thrives
Alive with the plants and creatures abandoned by society

But together They live happily, creating
The Forest of the Unwanted




I dont really like this one, it was from a prompt in my freshman year.
Its theme is no matter who you are, there is always somewhere you can go...
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Offline Taco <3

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Re: LonelyKats Poetry... (may be slightly graphic)
« Reply #6 on: April 06, 2011, 01:38:48 AM »
i like it....i mean i write miiself and i think itz good
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Offline serpington

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Re: LonelyKats Poetry... (may be slightly graphic)
« Reply #7 on: April 06, 2011, 01:40:06 AM »
another great peice of work, i dont see why you don't like it but i'm not you so i can't really comment on that. but heck i think you just gave me my related material for part of my english topic of belonging, thats if you don't mind my using it.. keep up the great work.
“I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
"If ever you should need my life, come and take it. If I die, I forgive you, if I recover, we shall see."

Offline Mathais

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Re: LonelyKats Poetry... (may be slightly graphic)
« Reply #8 on: April 06, 2011, 01:41:22 AM »
You should open a thread of your own!!! Then send me the link!


@serpington give me details
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Offline Taco <3

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Re: LonelyKats Poetry... (may be slightly graphic)
« Reply #9 on: April 06, 2011, 01:45:32 AM »
.....o.o...i dont kno...
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Offline serpington

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Re: LonelyKats Poetry... (may be slightly graphic)
« Reply #10 on: April 06, 2011, 01:48:54 AM »
details on what? the test? it's not on for a whle, i just need a related text or two otherwise i'm metaphoricly screwed.
“I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
"If ever you should need my life, come and take it. If I die, I forgive you, if I recover, we shall see."

Offline Mathais

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Re: LonelyKats Poetry... (may be slightly graphic)
« Reply #11 on: April 06, 2011, 02:01:09 AM »
Mhmm if you need to sight me my name is Mathew Coy Evans. :D (i feel very honored that you want to use my poem btw)

@taco You should post poems seriously
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Re: LonelyKats Poetry... (may be slightly graphic)
« Reply #12 on: April 06, 2011, 02:04:50 AM »
mkayz....i wil do tht 2mrw
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Offline Mathais

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Re: LonelyKats Poetry... (may be slightly graphic)
« Reply #13 on: April 06, 2011, 02:23:52 AM »
The Wish

Here I lay
Waiting in despair
Contemplating thoughts of horror & demise

With no control, I burst into a mad laughter
I am amused
All is lost
Yet all is gained
I cannot arise from this gloom
I am crushed into an unrecognisable paste

Can you see me?
Can you see the real me, sitting here bursting from pain
A slit of the wrist
A tight noose in the doorway
A cold barrel pressed firmly to the temple
The person who is me, is no longer here

Like the glorious phoenix
I have exploded into a dismal dust
Only ash to colour my soul
A black shrivelled heart lying in a pool of nothingness
My body near, unmoving
Black seeps from my lips
And falls from my eyes

Was it worth it?
Yes.
No longer the pain
No longer the constant screams
The tears that could extinguish even the greatest of fires
No more day-in-day-out faces
Finally dark, peaceful Alone

Was it worth it?
No.
A life
Lonesome, but still a life
Regret, a last love

Risking my soul, I search
Help...
Will you?
No, you won't
You refuse
So alone I shall live
Until I can find my place...

Why must I wear this mask?
Concealing my true emotion
Can I not just be left alone, without wearing it?
Why is it so hard to let go?
Why must this be my only true emotion?

I wish I could feel true pure
Maybe even happiness
But such a large wish for such a wasted soul to ask for
So so forever I shall search for something to help me live in harmony
Please
With no god
And only one love, yet so unrealistic
I sit here crying a letter of resignation from this mortal realm

Oyasuminasai

And farewell to these streaming words...






This was really just an internal monologue...
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Offline serpington

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Re: LonelyKats Poetry... (may be slightly graphic)
« Reply #14 on: April 06, 2011, 02:32:35 AM »
i'll make sure to put a copy of your poem with your name on it in the test paper so you get the credit. and if i could i would use one of my own bits of work for another related text but it'd take to long to write...unless i just put up the site adress and send them here.....sorry, i was just thinking outloud for a second there. heres the link to some of my workif your interested.

http://www.thefurryforum.com/forums/index.php?topic=14598.0
and my names Matthew.E.Hoswell. *bows politely* and yet another dark poem that i love.
“I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
"If ever you should need my life, come and take it. If I die, I forgive you, if I recover, we shall see."

 

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