Mom;
You left me.
You left me here to defend myself.
All alone here, no where to flee.
You left me here with him.
Did you even watch from above what he did to this family?
Do you realize once you left, everything was grim?
Was this secretly planned all along?
I know dad never made it easy.
Always leaving you to be so strong.
Perhaps inner strength wasn’t enough.
Disappearing from a world so cruel.
Giving up on life, this world is just too tough/
I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you while you were alive.
I was just too young to understand so much.
Oh god, what a world you left me to strive.
Ever since you left nothing has been the same.
A many of trusted hands have violated me since.
But you are not to blame.
Why did you have to go?
Why couldn’t you have taken me with you?
Why did you leave me here to allow this agony to grow?
Was I too much of a burden to take along?
I can’t help I was just born so strange.
Destined to fail, born so wrong.
I’m finding no peace.
No relief from the anguish.
No release.
Mom if you hear me,
I think of you often.
-x-
Leave Behind;
I can’t believe this has happened to us.
Quivering in fear at the reality of what could be.
But, look now, who the hell would guess.
Flash backs of breaking down on the phone.
Screaming, crying, gasping for breathe
Expressing our mutual fear of the unknown.
We we’re once whole.
But now we’ve fallen apart.
Fallen out of control.
You still tend to haunt my mind before slumber.
That laughter and smile of yours; echoing.
So many feelings I must encumber.
Remember the night when you called the police?
You thought you we’re saving my life that night.
You broke me Matt, ever since I’ve had no peace.
Ever since that night you’ve still had a hard time looking at my scars.
Are the memories that cling to these marks still that painful?
Did you start regretting saying that our love was written in the stars?
I don’t know who you are anymore.
Nor do you think it matters to keep in touch.
Alls that mattered to you since that day is the Marine corps.
Soon you’ll head off to sea.
Leaving behind everything that was once important to your past.
All of that including me.
