right, here's some background-
I had to do an opening for a romance story for english at school. I think i've done, but i'm not entirely sure if its good enough. Could someone, anyone, please read it and tell me if its good enough to get an A/A* ? :sniffle: I'd be happy to receive any, and all comments (even if you think its a flaming bag o' poop). Oh, and could someone please tell me if "Graffitied" is even a word? [Male Character: Takami. Female Character: Sapphire}
The sun was setting over Lime Street Station, and commuters were rushing in every direction, heads bowed.
Staring at her from only a few inches away, Takami realized that he could not tear his eyes from hers. They certainly lived up to her name. Those deep blue eyes… there was only one word which could describe them. Sapphire. A beautiful name for an infinitely more beautiful woman.
Snapping out of his trance, he heard her voice,
“Takami? Takami? Are you in there?â€ÂÂ
“Oh, yes, sorry,†He replied, his eyes now focusing back on the rest of her. Her cherry lips, her chestnut tinted hair.
“Thank God, I thought we’d lost you there for a minute,†she said, laughing mockingly. He could almost feel his heart shattering. She’d laughed at him… did she maybe not have the same feelings for him as he had for her? He fell to the floor, despondent; Sapphire crouched down beside him.
“There’s something wrong isn’t there?†She said, clearly worried.
“No, no, nothing… I’m just a little dizzy,†he replied; he could feel the redness of a blush rushing towards his cheeks.
“Sorry, but I’m not sure I believe you. Let’s go somewhere a bit quieter,†she said as one of the careless commuters, not looking where he was going, kicked her in the shin.
It felt like forever to Takami, walking that small distance to the Starbucks, Sapphire holding his arm to steady him. They collected their drinks, and sat down at a corner table.
“Now,†Sapphire said, looking at Takami concernedly, “What’s wrong? And I want the truth this time.†Shifting uncomfortably in the broken, graffitied plastic seat, Takami replied,
“Well, I’m not sure I should tell you…â€ÂÂ
“Why not?†She enquired. “We’ve known each other for years, almost since we were born.â€ÂÂ
“I know, that’s why I don’t know whether to tell you.â€ÂÂ
She looked back at him, realization dawning. Maybe he loved her too!
(in case you're wondering why it's set at lime street station, its cos' the teacher told us to)