Blood and violence: check
Mindless rambling: check
Horror at what you've done: check
Sound details: check
and
Good structure: check
I'd say you've done smashingly, Flames my dear. A lovely story. Did you add onto The Hero Eternal?
I've been meaning to work on the sequel(s) to The Hero Eternal: Warrior, but I got writer's block and suddenly ended up writing this, which actually takes place after the last (unwritten) 'book' in the series. *shrugs* Oh well, I'll just continue writing this for a bit...
Chapter 3: Escape...No matter how how many times I thrust my energy-blade, the X-Sabre, into my vital organs, my existance continues, the pain and fluids oozing from within me the only company, my only comfort.
No matter how hard I try, I cannot take what I don't have: A Life. I cannot live, I cannot die, I'm just encased in this foul darkness, the silence deafening me, the lack of light blinding me and the nothingness of the void almost entirely stripping away my sense of touch. I show my sharp teeth as I hack my way through once more, relishing in the feeling of agony that gripped my body.
When the only things you could sense were either a soul-draining emptiness or intolerable anguish, pain was always infinitely more enjoyable. There was an oddly calming effect created by abusing your existance this way. It was not unlike the Soul of Ice: where emotion was banished, leaving room for clear, calm and precise thoughts, solidifying and hardening your soul as frozen fluid repaired the flaws...
There was a dot of light shining in the distance, not unlike a star. I was alive again, still trapped in the void, but I was alive. The Gods droned on about my fate and purpose, but I was hearing none of it. My teeth ground together as I clenched my fists and felt the darkness around me quiver. They were trying to control me, tell me what to do, change who I was and take over my life...Not if I had anything to with it!
I would take control of my life anyway I could, I would escape, I.....I wrenched out the organ that was supposedly my heart and shut my eyes, in control once more. A breeze was felt on my forehead and I smiled...
Chapter 4: Second Chance...Two figures stood there quietly on a path of stone overlooking the sea. Waves crashed to and fro, their darkness mimicing the storm-ridden sky above. The wind howled in the distance as rain fell on the two people looking out to the vast waters, one with a hopeful look on her face, the other with doubt etched into his.
"Are ya sure someone's really comin'? Ya dreams have lied before, Ranko." The speaker was slightly short and squat, his fur oddly shiny and short, generally unlike any known animal. He looked up at the tigeress by his side, his large and floppy arms easily touching the ground.
"Have faith, Bakkun, the Gods shall surely-" The tigeress was interrupted by thunder in the distance and an angry outcry from Bakkun.
"The Gods!? Ya really think they'll help us now after what they've already unleashed upon the world!?" He calmed down for a moment and turned to leave, glancing back at Ranko. "Ya should hurry up before somethin' bad turns up, ya dummy!"
A sudden roar of wind and large, ever rolling waves only helped emphasize his point as eerie sounds were heard in the far distance. Ranko was silent and hung her head slightly as she walked towards Bakkun, ready to leave. They both turned back one last time to gaze at the raging sea, eyes dark with sorrow and remorse for the world.
Something wasn't right though. The waters had suddenly changed, a new shade being added to the spectrum as the waves fled from a single point in the sea, rippling outwards in a flurry of circles as an ominous combination of light and dark appeared in the depths. It rose and the waters nearby became more and more violent until something was finally blasted out of the depths, flung high into the sky, orange hair whipping around his face. It was a person.
Said figure was currently falling, almost in slow-motion, towards the worn path of weathered stone that Ranko and Bakkun were on. They remained still, their eyes transfixed by this strange occurance, noting every detail they could about the Anthro as he fell; their minds not responding.
He wore a faded crimson armour with an abundance of gashes and cracks, looking as if it could easily fall apart in the wind. His orange hair was flying around energetically as he moved through the air, his eyelids shut tight. His fox-like tail bent as his body came closer to the ground, gaining speed. The sea continued its assault on itself as the figure finally impacted the path...