Lord of the Matrix United: A New Hope

[Proto Triose]

I'm gonna try forum RP again. It's been a while since I've done it, but I think it could be a lot of fun to let off steam. I'm sure if you figured out the title, then you figured out that I've decided to do this the way I do any of my short stories. Let's just wing it! (For those of you that didn't, that's Lord of the Rings, the Matrix, X-Men United, and Star Wars: A New Hope all in one title)


Just have fun and role play whatever comes to mind. This is kind of a creative writing exercise with the help of all of you. React to other people playing, and add your own twist. Try to leave it open and be respectful of other people's characters - no forcing them to respond; let them do that! But if you're good you can roll with any punch. Even if it's something silly! Example - a meteor is crashing to the planet and will wipe out all life everywhere. So you hit it with a titanium alloy adamantium bat, because those exist, and send it hurtling back to Glacknor 7. I think everyone gets it. Let's see how this goes! Open RP!


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Proto threw himself against a wall, pressing his back into it as a laser guided pool noodle slapped with the force of a thousand million gigatons into the wall near him. The cement melted and burned the fur on his arm. Curling his lips at the stench of burning hair, he clenched his 1.21 gigawatt harpoon blaster in his right paw, throwing the safety switch to the setting "Not Very Safe At All." Leaning around the corner, he pulled his arm back and through the gun down the hallway at whoever was noodling him, which in this scenario doesn't really matter. It's a bad guy. Deal with it.


The earpiece he was wearing started blinking and vibrating gently. His ear twitched as he lifted a paw and hit the answer button. "This is Proto."


"That's not how you answer these things and you know it, Captain Commander."


With a sigh, putting digits to his eyes and rubbing the headache away. "This is Whale Twilight Fangs."


"Better." The voice on the other end responded. "This is the president. We need you to finish the mission you're on as soon as possible and return to the Vaguely Square-Shapped House That's Painted White for an update. Something horrible is happening out there, Whale Twilight, and your country needs you! And probably a few others, too, we hope. Maybe like six or seven more. But eighteen would be good too. So finish canning and noodling out there and get back here, Pronto!"


"Canning and noodling?"


"Yes. Finish canoodling out there, and get back here! Double time!"


Proto growled, baring his pearl white, devilishly charming teeth. How teeth can be charming, I don't know, but there it is. "Yes, Mr. President. I'm your wolf, sir."


'You have been disconnected' rang in his ear as he made a mad dash for the exit.

[nixon/monto]

But as he ran four pool noodles blocked his exit. Being laser guided they flew around the door rapidly fast.

"Where are you going proto!? I'm not done with you yet!"

Yelled Nixon very loudly. A 5'11" lombax with a power suit on and extra robotic arms.

"My pool noddles will noodle you till!...till...you are a pool of...NOODLENESS!"

[Proto Triose]

Porto stopped himself in the most amazing display of acrobatics he ever accomplished. He tried to skid to a halt, but fell face first and rolled across the ground, stopping just short of the noodley rampage blocking the door. Pressing the headpiece at his ear, he growled. "Mr. President. Nixon." Then released the button and slowly got up. One paw on his knee.

"Nixon! I should have known you'd have something to do with the blockade on the water gate! Why!? Why stop there?! Join us!" He stood up, his paw in a fist. "With your SUPER SUIT and your little robot, the Super Presidential Coverup Team would be unstoppable!"

He heard a buzzing above him, looked up and leapt out of the way of a large blue whale being thrown at him. "You have learned to summon blue whales. Impressive." He said quietly, really more to himself. A convenient gun was at his feet, the high class, super secret under wraps Sweet and Sour Saucer. When he pressed a button on the side, it played a little commercial jingle.

'Tripledent gum will make you smile!'

It was a feature of the weapon - now that song would be stuck in their heads forever!

"Let's do this, Nixon!"

[nixon/monto]

I'm already strong! If I join you would only hold me back!"

As Nixon yelled this he shot his hand forward and commanded two sharks with robotic legs to attack!

"That's not the only thing I've learned to do proto! Allow me to demonstrate!"

Nixon said with an evil smile and vigor.

[Proto Triose]

Damn. Proto thought to himself, hitting his fist against the ground. If only I had my Shades of Awesome, but I left them back in the Invisible Plane. Which of course was just a name for it. Turn things invisible, yeah right. Besides, what use would an invisible plane actually be? Barring my Shades of Awesome missing, if only someone else would post! We would have a team to try and defeat Nixon!

As it was, he was going to have to try and make an Escahpay and hope to Die Another Day. Proto looked around, spotting a fast enough moving river going down a drain that was coincidentally just big enough for him to fit! The only problem? It was directly behind Dr. Nixon. "You lombax's think you're so cool! With your hover boots. And your gravity boots. And your wrenches that double as weapons. And your RYNOs. And your bomb gloves. And your platinum bolts." Damn it. They were pretty cool.


Proto ran straight for one of the sharks, leaping as high as he could. Grabbing around one of its legs, he quickly climbed up onto its back while the other one bit at him. Digging his claws into its head, he turned it to face at Nixon. "Alright Nixon, I need to make an escape, and you're between me and that thing I just said! I don't suppose you'll let me blow something up behind me and try to look cool while I'm thrown into the river?!"

[nixon/monto]

"...Sure why not."

A bunch of the pool noodles collided with each other causing a change reaction of explosions.

"Too much! TOO MUCH!!"

To late. The room was already exploding. Nixon tried to stop it but he gave up right after. he watched proto dive for the drain.

"Don't leave me here!! Wait up!"

Nixon dove for the drain

[nixon/monto]

"...Sure why not."

A bunch of the pool noodles collided with each other causing a change reaction of explosions.

"Too much! TOO MUCH!!"

To late. The room was already exploding. Nixon tried to stop it but he gave up right after. he watched proto dive for the drain.

"Don't leave me here!! Wait up!"

Nixon dove for the drain

[Proto Triose]

As he was thrown from the noodley explosion, he pretended to put shades on and crossed his arms. He had to pretend, because again - Shades of Awesomeness. Invisible Plane. But he looked extremely nonchalant, and how cool looking was that. But then he hit the river with a splash. Paddling frantically, his head broke the surface with a gasp and he began paddling in circles. He forgot how much he hated and loved water at the same time. He couldn't help the big stupid grin that came over him.


Then he caught sight of Nixon behind him. "Haha! The upper hand is ours now! Waiting outside are five squads of the President's Men, all prepared to arrest you unless I tell them you're on our team." There wasn't. When would he have had the time? Still. A pool noodle floated near him, so he threw his paws over it and used it to keep himself afloat.


"We have Monsieur Papa Razzi as the next assignment." He paused - for dramatic effect. Everything was dramatic when he was on the job. "I mean, just saying." He raised an eyebrow, watching Nixon's interest. He hoped his ploy would work, because talk about epic team, and epic battles with laser whips and everything! How cool would it be to run with a lombax? Awesome.

[nixon/monto]

(Sorry for the late-ish reply.)

As they both floated in the river of water headed toward the drain Nixon pondered for only a second about protos statement.

"I!...You've got me in a box here. Alright I join...but only on my terms. Oh and tell them you beat me up pretty hard. I don't want the other villains thinking lowly of me."

 To be honest with himself he was tired of being a mean guy anyway. It was time for some change.

[Proto Triose]

Proto reached up and tapped his ear, saying "Withdraw the troops. We won't be needing them. And we'll meet anything Nixon wants on the plane." He looked at Nixon, raising an eyebrow. "You want some alcohol, chicken, any type of food? Anything beyond that will have to take time. But we have connections to the president."


Of course, the ear piece didn't work at all. It was water logged; however, he had to make it look like the absence of guards and everything was perfectly natural. "And of course, I will work on a document to give out to the media in a speech. I know all super villains need to lose to the good guy, and almost win other times. I will make you sound like the most hardcore of all villains, and we black mailed you into joining. Is that okay?"


As they went down the river, dinosaurs appeared all over the place. A lost place in time, this small bend in the river, but that was only to be expected with prehistoric fauna everywhere. There was even a chicken. Wasn't that the descendant of the T-Rex? Proto pulled Nixon over, holding up a paw for silence. "Chicken." He whispered, nodding in the direction of the blood-raged poultry.


Ba-GAWK! It screeched, seeing them in the river and flapping its useless wings. It grew fangs, and a laser cannon sprouted from its head. "Damn evolution!" Proto cursed, swimming frantically for the opposite shore.