break up help

[icy wolf]

ok so i kind of want to break up with my mate, i dont feel the relation working any more. any one got advice for how to do it?

[Kaprika]

break it to them gently, its never any fun to be on the receiving end of a break up..and do it calmly, throwing blame will only start a fight.

simply tell them that your really sorry...that youve had some wonderful times, but you feel that your relationship has run its course....and that you enjoyed the time you had, but you dont see your relationship going anywhere.
if they cry, try to comfort them..but dont cave in and change your mind because of tears, because then your staying for the wrong reasons and you will then be even MORE miserable.

and its ok to stay friends afterwards, but when you fisrt break up...its good to not talk to one another for a few months..just to ensure its a clean breakup.

[.: ♥ Kiniia ♥ :.]

Have you told them about this beforehand? Sometimes if you talk about it to one another you can resolve the issue and stay together. My and xy have problems all the time and sometimes it feels like the relationship wont work. But then we talk about it and find a solution.

If you feel like theres something you want to save about the relationship then I suggest you talk to them about it first.

[Aoren Deringer]

Do it in person, be sympathetic... And don't call back afterwords. 'Bout the only effective advice if your bent on ending it.

[icy wolf]

thanks but i dont know him in rl ... the relation is online and ive been in this relation for a few months. if we do meet it dosnt feel like it would work.

[Kaprika]

my advice still stands whether in person or online

[.: ♥ Kiniia ♥ :.]

mine too, it cant hurt to talk about it. then at least you can say you've tried

[icy wolf]

thanks, he says he loves me and i use to feel the same for him but i dont feel the same as i use to. ill take both of your advice to brake up

[icy wolf]

ok ive been trying it and i dont think he has caught on yet

[Kaprika]

then be blunt..but still polite about it...spell it out

"look...im not sure if youve been getting what im trying to say...but....im sorry..were not working like we used to. we should see other people"

[icy wolf]

just broke up with him, he started to cry i think. well i fell  its for the best though.

[Kaprika]

*hugs*

well just let him be then...let him swallow the news.

[icy wolf]

* hugs back*

thanks, i feel bad because hes crying, but i did feel like the relation wasnt  going to work. he removed me from facebook and msn

[Kaprika]

he feels hurt..and it will take him some time to accept what happend but you will both be better off from it...if you werent happy then in the end it would make you both miserable..you for living a false relationship and him because he isnt in a truly fruitful one..

PM me if you need someone to talk to about this privately

[icy wolf]

thanks kapa,