So I'm moving away from my horrible, judgmental father"

[Takamei Edevane]

I know I don't post much and all I ever seem to is complain. When I look back at my posts and see that quite alot of them are in this board, I know that's wrong.

My father abuses me. Its affecting me as a person. And I have this horrible fear of becoming like him. And now I've finally done something about this. I'm moving away. And I'm scared.

This has got to be one of the most important moments of my life.

My father is a psychological terrorist, bully, self centred, control freak who orders me around every day of my goddamn life. He upsets me and doesn't even care. Actually, he might even enjoy it. I know he enjoys annoying me. He has hit me before, and my friends will know this. He has thrown tea into my **censor** face, and kicked me out of the house. And that was because I talked back to him! That's all I did!

I'm always worried he is going to yell at me for things. I can't relax in the home I live in! I get anxiety pains now. Even his presence in the same room as me is enough to upset me.

I just wish that I had grown up in a true better family... its so upsetting I will never experience that.

Social Services will take me away in two weeks... I'm so scared. I'm not sure I can go through with it. But I know I can't stand living here anymore.
When I move I may not have any internet, so anybody who wonders where I have gone this should explain it.

He forced me to come with him walking the dogs today. He told me I wouldn't have any friends if I carried on like I am. I told him I always seem depressed around him because I'm around him and that he upsets me. He told me I have his permission to leave home, like he didn't even care. He didn't even ask why he upsets me or how he can help. He told me I had "issues" mentally. He always seems to put the blame on my mother (soon to be divorced, also alcoholic) or blames me. I was really scared he might hurt me.

So I will move in two weeks. I won't have any family. I won't know anyone there. I won't know the area. I don't know what will happen. I'm just so scared ;_;

But it has to be better than this right? To some extent? I really owe what is happening to my best friend Nova. Without him I wouldn't had made this decision to tell the authorities and before that helped me get through my days of torture.

I just can't believe this is happening... I just wish it was all a bad dream... 

[NovaAurora]

Hey man... I'm really proud that you worked up the courage to do what you did. You and I both know you deserve a lot better than what you're going through now, all the things you've told me about. It is going to be very hard, there's no denying that, but in the end this is the right thing for you. You'll be such a happier person once you're able to get out of your household and not live in constant fear. You won't have to hide anymore, you can be the delightful, carefree, creative person I know you are even though you're forced to suppress it right now. And remember that no matter how hard things get, you have friends and you have people like me who will support you through it all and help you whenever you need it. Even if you don't have internet, I'll still be here for you. Absolute best of luck going forward!   

[Kovume]

I feel the same way as you. unforcantly I am now having to deal with a step mom who is not always agreeable, I was abused buy my dad and I never told any one until I got up here to the job Corps. which is a wonderful place I have made lots of friends and I have started to use my inure Furry more that I have made one of the most wo9nderfull people in the universe.

[anoni]

Well I have news for you! I know a lot of people who have had something similar happen to them and you may find that things do get better and you may not feel like you're missing any significant things at all (though you likely will still feel like you're missing something, it won't mean that you'll be unhappy). A friend at Uni was kicked out of his parents place when we was 16 for being gay, he was homeless for two weeks and slept in on a park bench, he eventually stayed with a friend of his who gave him a home and eventually things evolved from there, he never saw his father again. He is now 24 and he lives a completely well and functioning life, is surrounded by a whole bunch of friends and is on his way to a completely functional life!

  My point is, that things do get better and you say that "you have nothing" but you'll have lots of things due time, friends and maybe even a foster family (who knows?) that you can reside in. Things will be better
 

[Kovume]

You re right. things will get better as they come. I will just have to wait a little wile. and some day thing will get better.  

[DragonMKV]

From what you said, it seems as if anywhere would be better than where you are now. I also have an abusive father. This is the third time my mother has had an order of protection against him.


Always know that we are here for you...

[Armalite_]

Change is always scary and it's also something that is always bound to happen anyway. Moving out on your own is the biggest step you can take before things get easier. It may feel like you're on your own for what seems like the first time, but it's not the first time you've done something on your own without support from your family and definitely not the only one to leave an abusive home on their own terms.

You've taken the steps to ensure what you think needs to happen in order for you to be happy but you're not sure exactly what to expect. Know that everything has a way of working out in the end. It's okay to be unsure of what happens next but be strong and do whatever you gotta do to keep that way until you get your opportunity for a place to stay, a place to work, and a means of saving money for a place of your own.

I knew an old co-worker who got so fed up with his life, he packed up his things one night and left his parent's house without telling anyone where he was going. He hopped on a bus that took him anywhere with whatever cash he had and lived in a hotel for a few days while working small jobs he found online. He eventually rented a small apartment and found a job working full time and started life over again in a town where no one knew him or bothered him about his past. His journey wasn't easy and it was definitely scary, but his will to change overcame his fear to implement it.

None of these things happen over night, but with time, there's nothing to worry about. It will come to you naturally when you become more accustomed to living solo. You will always have people to care for you even when it seems like you're alone, let the kindness of other strangers help you through your struggles and appreciate what's given to you. You will be a lot happier and learn much more about the world when there's nothing to hold you back except your fears (which you will overcome). We cannot live in fear of the future because soon, we will be looking back on it as a learning experience.

Make the right choices, follow your heart, and trust your gut. I can only wish you the best of luck. Be safe and enjoy your new chapter of life.

tl;dr: you'll be fine, everything will be fine. You won't have to sleep on a park bench. Social services won't just put you out on the street unless you're 18, in which I think you're old enough to know what you gotta do next. Having a rough plan of what to do and where to go with some cash is always a good thing to do. If you don't know about something, find out as much as you can while you can (this is important when dealing with social services). I'd start saving/collecting/planning now.

[Takamei Edevane]

Thank you all so much for these words of comfort. It gives me strength.

You're all giving me the courage to do what's right. I didn't expect such a response over night.
Thinking about it. If I hadn't discovered the furry fandom, I wouldn't have met all the great people in it (you guys).
And I wouldn't have anyone to guide me. *hugs* you are all the best of people.

[George]

I wish you the best of luck with relocation!  In my opinion, anyone willing to accept someone else's child is probably going to be much more accepting and not be...like that.


I just can't wait til' you don't have to deal with that monster...

[Kovume]

You have all helped me out too if i just keep on trucking i will get a butifull future. 

[Trigahex]

I wish you the best of luck.
 
I'm glad I have the parents I have. I hear a lot about others being not so fortunate.

[Tabbitha Minx]

While things weren't that extreme for me family wise, things weren't exactly peachy.
I ended up moving myself out at 17, so I could continue my schooling.
I don't miss the family that hurt me, I still sometimes see those who didn't, and I've made heaps of great friends and learnt so much more about myself. I really hope you find your move results in just as pleasant a change.
My advice to you: Take it as an opportunity as a fresh chance to be exactly who you want to be! Find your way into your skin so you're fully comfortable with yourself, and that alone should quickly bring friends
Good luck n_n

[Kovume]

I am now starting to get comfortable with myself and I am starting to deal with my family as best as I can. and I do speak to my dad sometimes and most of the time he has to get off the phone or he might yell at me over the phone so I just keep on going.

[Takamei Edevane]

Thanks Tabbitha, I think that's really good solid advice. And I will.

The adventure of my true self begins soon. I am leaving for the Philippines tomorrow and I will be posting pictures.

*hugs all*

[Tabbitha Minx]

*hugs back!*