Help with a bully

[LegitlyLeo]

So there's this guy in my neighborhood not going to say his name but everytime I leave my house to go biking or whatever he follows me around and calls me theese atrocious names that belittle me for being homosexual. I told my parents about the bully(not the homosexual part, they dont know)they say he is just a temproray obstacle, so just a fancy way of say "we wont do anything". If anyone can offer any advice, im willing to read and try to put it to use.By the way, im 14 so nothing out of my capabilities...

[anoni]

You could threaten to call the police, following you around just to harass you is probably against the law in your area and for a teenager that can be a pretty serious threat. You don't actually have to do it, but the threat may be enough to stop his advances hopefully.

[LegitlyLeo]

Eh, im not really one to rely on adults plus I feel getting the police involved may complicate things and may lead to the situation escalating.

[Ventus Fall]

I don't know who this person is, or what your relationship is to him, but if you know him from school or a club, walk up to him once he starts following you again and call you names. Then say something loud and clear to him:
'I do not like what you are doing.  Stop it.'   Or:  'I do not like you belittling me, stop it.'
He does it again? Repeat process. Trust me, this may take a lot of trials, but keep consistent, keep a straight face (with that I mean, don't get angry, sad, upset, or even laughing in his face ^^; ), and a clear voice.
It might seem useless in the beginning, especially when it does not seem to even lessen his bullying, but he has bullied you for some time probably now, thus this situation might continue for a bit before it lessens or even stops.
This, or ignoring him entirely.

Eitherway, show him you couldn't care less about his behaviour, but if you say it, you're clear that all he's doing is wasting your (and his) time. When he gets the message, and even gets bored, trust me: He will stop.

If you rather not do this, then ignore him completely.  This might be hard, but this has also been effective at least for me when I would be bullied. Though the most effective method is the previously first mentioned one, confronting him that you do not like it.
It is very important that eitherway, you be consistent. You can't one day decide to ignore him, and another day to go up to him and say you don't like it, and another day you try something else again. Be consistent. very important.


If it does escalate after whatever you decide to do, please keep mentioning it to your parents, or indeed involve the police.
I am indeed not sure if they would do anything about it. I mean, there are a lot of cases people tried getting police involved and they didn't do anything, because they didn't think of it being serious, but then please, keep pressing your parents to do something about it, or at least help you in some (other) way.
Make it even more clear to you it is still happening, it still bothers you, and in fact, it is starting to hurt you more and more, even because you feel they aren't taking it serious either. Communicate with them you are not happy with how things are going.

If the bully would indeed do something to threaten you, or physically harm you, and you have tried the above 'methods', please go to your parents and/or the police.
Once again, I do not know this person, or his relationship to you, but if it gets even more so out of hand, try to do everything you can in order to protect yourself with involving as many people (you trust/you should trust) as possible.

Eitherway, hope this advice helps you in some way

[LegitlyLeo]

This might actually work, i've tried a few of these methods in the past but wasn't consistent so maybe ill try being more consistent. Thanks!

[Ho'ne Diheart]

When I used to be bullied, I started to tell the teachers. They didn't do jack to help the situation. The only good advice I got was from my father. It basically was fight them(with fists of course). Yea, it may hurt, and it may not be the right solution, but people respected me when I stood up for myself. Now you don't have to follow this advice, but it's better then being sad and suicidal(I'm not trying making a assumption, bullying can cause sadness and that eventually leads to substance abuse and suicidal thoughts). The only thing I can say is try to understand why is he bullying you BEFORE and IF you follow my advice

[Nicolas Cage]

Well Leo, I can tell you from my own experience that bullying in any form rarely changes without your own involvement. Though really, you don't even have to involve yourself the majority of the time.

Most bullies are just looking for a response, and they heckle for the sake of it; they have a vested interest in making you feel miserable, for whatever reason. What I'm going to tell you now is some advice that I think you should remember everywhere, whether it be in real life or online:

Talk is cheap. Words are cheap. Whatever he's saying, he doesn't have the gall to follow through on with physical force or tangible threats. He is making no effort to prove that what he thinks about you is important enough to act on. So why act on his words?

I know what he's hassling you about is very personal. It's always disgusting when someone would try to ridicule another person for it. But he shouldn't earn the satisfaction of your attention until he gives you something to truly be concerned about.

DO NOT think that I am asking you to ignore him. This isn't supposed to be you avoiding the problem: this is supposed to be you deciding whether or not it's a problem worth considering. After all, what is some boy that follows after you demanding your attention worth to you? Is he an offensive heartache that lessens your quality of life, is he an occasional annoyance, is he some kid that talks every once and awhile, and is he important enough to you for you to give him any of these titles?

Does his talk really hurt you, and if it does, why? Is he more insulting than you are indifferent? That is the answer that will decide whether or not this works for you.

Now in reality, bullies can be persistent. If they really want to get to you, they will work for it. And if it ever gets to the point where you're physically threatened, you should respond with force. You aren't a punching bag, and you aren't defenseless. Obviously, keep your means of self-defense within legal and non-lethal parameters, but make sure that the attention he thought he wanted wasn't worth it.


That's really the best I can give you Leo. This isn't a band-aid technique that you can use whenever it happens: it's a way of seeing things. I truly think the rest of your days could improve if you slip into this mentality, but it's not something for me to force on you. Whatever happens, you can find a way through this issue. And I wish you the best of luck.


Sincerely,
              Nicolas Cage

[drakewithout]

id contact the authoritys, gay bashing is a serious problem

[Twilight Rose]

How old is this guy? It makes a difference. If he's your age, then yeah, ignoring or consistently telling him to stop are good ways to go about it. If he's significantly older, the cops are pretty much the best way to go. Alternately, if he scares you, it's also best to go to the cops to end it as soon as possible.