Trichotillomania.

[Keinai]

I have trichotillomania, a rare mental disorder that makes me want to pull my own hair out. It's in the same general group of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and dermatillomania (skin picking).

Spoiler for don't read if you're just curious and not going to offer advice.:

The complete process is; I feel kind of a tingling/itching sensation that can only be solved if I pull the hair that my body wants me to. I pull from the lowest point, getting the follicle with it. I hold the hair in front of my face and I rub it in between my middle and ring finger. I pull the follicle off of the hair with my teeth and ingest it, then discard the hair.

I also pull apart my split ends.

And please don't tell me what a disgusting human being I am because I know what I do is really gross but I don't enjoy it one bit, it's simply become a habit. I'm extremely ashamed of what I do, even more ashamed than my cuts and scars, because I can't hide my head. I feel embarrassed to go to the stylist and she told me I have pulled sparse bald spots on almost every place on my crown and the back of my head.

Sometimes I notice I do it, sometimes I don't. Usually I don't realize how much I pull, until my scalp itches and hurts when I derive my concentration from the computer, schoolwork, or whatever else I'm going that I can do with just one hand.

I have no clue why I do this, I've pulled for at least six years with two years of not doing it at all, but it relapsed and became much worse.

My fingers and nails hurt so much from pressing them together and sifting through my hair. But I still can't make myself stop.

I've tried stress balls, running my fingers over my distressed jeans, chewing gum, doodling, reward charts, and anything you can think of--I've done it.

I feel so ashamed because I've been told I have pretty hair and I think I do too--I love the way my hair is, so it's not an issue of self-esteem. I also don't pull my hair from stress or anxiety, and I know it's not self-harm because it doesn't hurt and I don't get the same emotional relief.

I can't figure out why I do this or why I can't stop. It's driving me insane and it's a shame there isn't much support for it, information about it, or as many therapists trained to handle it as it should be.

I'm pretty sure I pulled at least ten times as I wrote this.

[moonwolf101]

While I cannot directly give you advice to help with this, I did find, however a list with 50 ways to hopefully stop this habit.
http://wwhtmlich.org/treatment/50WaystoStopl.html

I hope this helps! Best wishes!

[Keinai]

I've seen that site and I've tried at least the 38 I can do.

[moonwolf101]

I've seen that site and I've tried at least the 38 I can do.

Oh, my apologies. I never heard of this mental disease, so I don't know much about it, I wish I did so I could help you.

So again I apologize I don't know much about it....
http://www.anxietycoach.com/trichotillomania.html

But try this (if you haven't) also if you didn't already, try talking to a trusted adult that could probably do something...

[Traum]

I will suggest this rather weird method. Have you ever tried to intentionally pull your hair? You could just sit and slowly pluck them out one by one in the most painful way and don't stop when your fingers start to bleed. Simply make it a self torture, maybe then your brain will associate it with pain.

[Keinai]

I will suggest this rather weird method. Have you ever tried to intentionally pull your hair? You could just sit and slowly pluck them out one by one in the most painful way and don't stop when your fingers start to bleed. Simply make it a self torture, maybe then your brain will associate it with pain.

That wouldn't work for me, I'm sure of it. There is no pain at all when I'm pulling, it's just a few hours later when my scalp and my fingers hurt.

[Traum]

yea it goes numb after a while. You could pull them all though

[Keinai]

You're **censor** kidding me. I want to STOP pulling. I want to STOP having these **censor** bald patches on my head.

[Traum]

calm down, I'm just resorting to extreme methods

[Keinai]

Why? Why do you feel the need to suggest extreme methods when self-harm never solves the problem.


If I cut more it wouldn't make me want to stop. I will just end up with more cuts on my arms, and more bloodshed.


If I pull more it wouldn't make me want to stop. I will just end up with more bald spots and more people noticing.

[MrRazot]

Looks like I have some degree if dermatillomania then. I have chicken skin where my hair follicles produce too much of a certain protein, creating little bumps over my arms and legs. I generally pick at them and it ends up looking like I've got sores over my arms and legs.

But this post got me thinking about this in that I only pick at my arms when I'm wearing a T-shirt and I only pick at my legs when I wear shorts and only my face when I look in a mirror.

It's perhaps not as extreme as your condition, but as wearing longer cloths helps me take my mind off my skin, maybe a hat will take your mind off of your hair. Until you just forget about it all together. Also instead of doing things to stop thinking about your hair, do things that stop you thinking about it.

Hope this helps

[George]

Looks like I have some degree if dermatillomania then. I have chicken skin where my hair follicles produce too much of a certain protein, creating little bumps over my arms and legs. I generally pick at them and it ends up looking like I've got sores over my arms and legs.

But this post got me thinking about this in that I only pick at my arms when I'm wearing a T-shirt and I only pick at my legs when I wear shorts and only my face when I look in a mirror.

It's perhaps not as extreme as your condition, but as wearing longer cloths helps me take my mind off my skin, maybe a hat will take your mind off of your hair. Until you just forget about it all together. Also instead of doing things to stop thinking about your hair, do things that stop you thinking about it.

Hope this helps

Maybe even a hoody. *shrug*

[mosskid]

I have obsessive compulsive disorder and trichotillomania myself, and I totally understand how hard it is to stop. My trich is a bit different from yours though, sometimes I pull without feeling any strong emotions, but it's mostly anxiety driven. However, I've found some things to be slightly more helpful to stop pulling. I've gotten my hair cut short (but if that's not for you I totally understand), and at least with me, I play with my hair after its pulled (rolling it around in my fingers, which is really gross and embarrassing), so I take string/yarn and roll it in my fingers to replace the feeling of hair. I know you can't keep your hair wet all the time, but I find when my hair is it makes it very hard to pull out even if I try really hard. If I'm really desperate I'll even put duct tape on my fingers.


Trich is really hard to control, and I know how it feels when you want to stop it but you just can't. These things I do don't stop it for me entirely, but it helps control it a little.


I can't guarantee that these methods I use will help you, because different people work different ways. But I hope it may! Hang in there.