Being gay isn't unfortunate, and saying gay men are picky is really generalising a group of people. There are many different kinds of individuals, and I'm 100% sure not all gays are the same. Of course there are loads of people who want someone who looks good, but this isn't only gays. Hetero peolpe, bisexuals, etc. List goes on and on.
I personally don't know you, nor do I know how you look like, but from what I indeed read you don't have much confidence. I can tell you for sure that once you show you have confidence, you will be attractive (again). It barely is about looks moreso than it is about confidence.
Because of sacrificing your own style you are completely losing yourself and even more of your confidence what was left of it. Do not try to adjust to others when it comes to person style or tastes. You are taking yourself out of your comfort zone and that usually never ends well.
You should indeed be attracted to who you want to be attracted to, physically. But also emotionally and mentally.
And now I read that others have said bad things about you, this of course also doesn't help. It just brings you down more and more. Who are they to say you are ugly, or have a horrible personality, or whatever? No talents or skills? Yeah, whoever said that are people with no personality or skills themselves and are just out there to bring others down.
One last thing I would like to say is: Don't be needy. To yourself and towards others: Don't be needy. This sounds perhaps a bit different than what I intend to, so I'll say this:
You can live without someone else. Especially after a recent break-up it feels like this is impossible, but it's not.
the more you focus on needing someone, the more you will fall into depressions and/or get into relationships you won't be happy in.
Why? Because you are forcing yourself to live to be with someone. The first thing is to make sure you can show others you can take care of yourself. To feel confidence ad do what you want to do.
Of someone likes what you do, they will usually try to be with you. Those are the kind of people you want to be around: Similar souls, people.
I hope I didn't sound mean or anything, I just wanted to make sure everything I said was clear.
Hope this helped in some way.
