Last week I was run down (work stress, had been sick, etc) and by mid week I was totally out of energy, barely able to function. I tried to pull myself together, as driving a 70,000+ pound truck is not something you do when you are impaired.
So, as I am working to pull in some energy and get myself functional I feel something "different", something primal. All of the sudden I feel better, but things are off a little. The way I am seeing things is more like I haven't really seen before. I'm scanning everything, seeing details I would normally pass over. I'm smelling everything, from car ad truck smells, to the trees, etc. My personality was even different, no stress, but very aware of everything around me, cockier (best way to describe it). I knew what the other drivers were going to do, and was able to react BEFORE they did things. I could feel a presence I had felt a little before when I needed strength, but it had never been this strong. I finally realized it was Naake ni, my wolf spirit, running the show when I couldn't.
I was also having mental images of a situation I had not had, at a campground we have not been to in years, along with hearing the name of the campground over and over. One of the strongest images was sitting on a point looking out at the lake at dawn, watching the day break and feeling the earth, hearing and smelling everything around me. It was like being plugged in to the world.
I had been having problems sleeping, but that night, and for the rest of the week, I was able to sleep and rest, not great but better. Some of the weight had been lifted, it was still there, but not as heavily. I was able to get through the week, but was in this altered frame of being.
When I realized something was "different" I called my wife and talked to her while I drove, and tried to explain it all to her, which was difficult since I did not understand it myself. Her basic response was "trust Naake, and we'll get it figured out." When I told her about the campground images, etc, She said "we'll be going camping this weekend then".
Spent Thursday evening loading the RV, and headed out as soon as I got home Friday, but then had issues between the truck and trailer, little things, but stressful. It rained Friday night and almost all day Saturday. Saturday Morning I woke up at 6:15, looked outside and it was pre-dawn. I felt a calling to go out to the lake, but was so tired that I went back to bed instead. Slept until almost 9.
Sunday morning I woke at 6:15 again, and when I looked out the moon was out, not a cloud in the sky, and Naake was telling me it was time. I put on my pajama pants with my tail, and a sweat shirt, slipped on my shoes, and let him lead me to where we needed to be. Ended up at a rock point looking out over the lake, found a shelf rock with a bluff behind it, and as soon as I sat down I realized this was exactly the view from the images! As I relaxed and let the world flow through us I saw and felt things that are for Naake and I, the Two Spirits, alone. We were there a lifetime, or for 45 minutes, or both. The sounds and smells, the things I saw and felt, what I learned will stay with me. It was like a joining of the spirits into one.
As I walked back to the trailer I thanked Naake for taking over, for showing me where I needed to be, and what I needed to see and learn. Things have been back to mostly normal this week, busy, but able to cope, sleeping better each night, and able to function again. I also thanked my wife for understanding what we needed to do, even though she really didn't want to be out camping that weekend... She tolerated the truck and trailer issues, kept me going, but not pushing me either.
The whole thing was almost like I went into a partial sleep, a subdued state, and Naake was able to take over. I was aware, but had minimal input, other than my knowledge of what we were doing and where we were going.
Is this shifting??? or something altogether different?
