While I usually don't make a lot of rant / advice threads, I felt like maybe I needed to discuss this with the right group of people; as in, it would make more sense to you all of all people.
I, for one, have a large collection of anthro characters. I have
Rigor, whom, I assume most people know. She was my fursona / scalesona for a long long time. I mean, she still is to an extent. I just feel less connected to her than I used to. She initially started out as Nyx. Then Nyx turned into Rigor. Nyx and Rigor are the same character. The only thing is Nyx is the character before death, Rigor is the character after death. She also initiated the creation of other characters; Romei, Ankh, Art Cassidy, who are all "support" characters in Rigor's story.
Anyway, the point is, Rigor / Nyx is the basis of a lot with me, she is me. I've had her for over six years as me. And yet now, I feel so unconnected with her and I don't know why. I've had some bad things tagged to her. A long time relationship and friendship gone sour with her specifically tagged to these people (for those that know me, my actual persona is very important to me and I usually don't make art with her and other people's characters unless they mean a lot to me), people stealing her constantly, and people harassing me over her design because it is a similar concept (vaguely appearance wise) with another artist... I'm not particularly sure if these are causing me to feel less connected to her, or if I'm just outgrowing her altogether. To be honest, it somewhat upsets me because she was something solid for me for such a long time, but she has changed to where she doesn't feel like Rigor anymore. The only way I can describe it is it's like having to give away a toy you used to love as a child but can no longer use now because you've warped it into something else, and it doesn't quite function like it used to.
While it upsets me to an extent, I have to admit that I have another character, which, again, I'm sure you all know at least from my display pictures on here, who seems to be slowly but surely taking her place. His name is
Lore. He's a chameleon plush-kind of voodoo doll looking thing. He seems to suit me like Rigor used to... I almost feel guilty for feeling that way about him. As if Rigor and I had something special and I'm cheating on her with Lore (It's funny, but it's how I feel! I swear! xD ) He was created in the same way that Rigor and Nyx was, there wasn't much thought, it just happened. When I made him, I made his design in under an hour, he felt right, but I didn't really intend on keeping or getting attached to him. He was more or less a scapegoat for art thieves. A joke. And yet, there's a magnetism about him that I can't shake and I have been getting attached to him despite what he was first made for.
There's so much that's me about him that I feel like I've captured with his design. He captures my gender neutrality (Hard to explain, but he's both genders, yet neither, I'd explain, but it would take forever), my neutrality with being considered "furry" (He's a doll, so is he technically furry? Maybe, maybe not. It's neutral.), the Halloween stuff I like along with my favorite color combinations, the animal I feel more connected with (chameleon), and the list goes on. I mean, Rigor has some of those things, too but their story and personality differ, and I wonder if its aspects of my personality that have changed... I also have this feeling that Lore is more "mine" or more "original" than Rigor in the sense that no one screams copy cat in my face, even if it wasn't the case to begin with when concerning Rigor.
People have suggested that maybe the reason why I feel unconnected towards Rigor because I've been stressed. They've also mentioned that maybe Lore might be me growing out of Rigor because he occurred so... "Naturally" without much thought. I'm not sure what it is. What does it sound like to you all? Has anyone every felt this way about their fursona(s)? What did you do about it?