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Author Topic: Selfless Chaos  (Read 987 times)

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Offline anoni

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Selfless Chaos
« on: February 03, 2012, 05:47:15 PM »
The name is subject to change. I'm planning to release this in small pages, it won't be a super long novel story, but it should have a lot of content. Enjoy and tell me what you think :P
Also, please, analyse my text, tell me of anything I could need improvements on, Doing it via PM would be nice posting a comment will also be good :P
___________________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________
Entry 1:

  It's dusty here, I thought to myself, lying on a shabby bed watching a rusted old ceiling fan move about in circular motion. The dust was starting to get on my nerves, it was getting stuck to my fur and going down my nostrils giving a horrible, suffocating feeling as I lay in that stiff bed.  Suffocation, maybe that's a good way to describe my situation. I'm here renting an apartment at 450 credits a week, going to a college that costs 6,000 credits a year, with a job that pay 22 credits an hour, money is very tight. A job with a misunderstanding little wolf named Darly who just so happens to be my boss, a job in which I have to serve snobby, condescending furs their many foods and wares as they talk about all there luxuries of life.

  Don't get me wrong though, some of my co-worker furs are very nice; they seem to be the only reason I go to that job anymore, and of course, I need the money. There's only one hope I have to get me out of this situation and that's my studies. I'm studying aerodynamics at the University of Mobius State, my plan is to become an engineer and design jet fighters for the assist in the Wolf crusade, I'm not a wolf myself, but quite frankly those jets are high in demand. If I could just survive through my course I would be able to get a high paying job and I wouldn't have to deal with my moron of a land lord. I sat in my bed, thinking of all the things that are wrong with my life, I didn't even hear the door open...

  “Marcus! Come on you'll be late for class for goodness sakes, what the hell are you doing?” Exclaims my class-mate, co-worker and best friend, Paulie. Paulie was a fox like me, we met back in high school on our first day, I remember we were meant to “integrate” with the rest of our class mates by going to the beach and swimming in the ocean. Our teacher Mr. Trike thought it'd be fun to get everyone into the water, I was never a fan of water, so he insisted and I refused. It was only a matter of time before we got into a yelling  match, it ended off with him giving me a green slip and me storming off to the end of the beach to sit down by myself. I remember being nervous that day, I remember hating myself for the first impression I gave my classmates; that this was what they were going to think of me for the rest of the 6 years we had to stick together for. That's when Paulie came, he sat next to me, put a hand on my shoulder and said “That teacher needs to lighten up, Mr. Trike? More like take a hike!”, I smirked at the comment, I even giggled a little bit, we have been best friends ever since.

  “Ok, Ok, I'm getting up, don't get your fur tied up in knots!” I exclaimed as I pulled myself up from off my bed, I quickly shook the dust off my fur and looked at Paulie.

  He looked at me with an odd smirk, his eyes gazing on the state of my room, “Heh, no time to clean up apparently? Were you up working that late last night?”

  “Freaking Darly had me working the night shift again, remember? Even though I told him I have class tomorrow, the pretentious...” I stopped myself there, it wasn't time to get into angry subjects, I had to get ready for class and I didn't think Paulie would want to hear more ramblings about how I hate my boss.

  “Eh, well, don't worry about it Marcus, if you fall asleep in class, I'll be sure to hit you in the nose with my ruler” he said with a smug grin,

  “Gee thanks!” I sarcastically replied, as I put my shirt on and headed for the door. I looked back to my room one last time before I left. I looked at the mess, the dust, the chaos, this room was my life, but unlike my life, this room will get cleaned by the end of the night.
 
« Last Edit: February 04, 2012, 02:02:09 PM by anoni »
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Offline Luggz

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Re: Sefless Chaos
« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2012, 06:12:34 PM »
Reads well so far. Looking forward to the next part.
"Here for a good time, not a long time" Colin McRae

Offline anoni

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Re: Selfless Chaos
« Reply #2 on: February 04, 2012, 02:01:18 PM »
Entry 2:
  Paulie and I walked to the bus station and caught the #56 bus to UMS, why we sat in the padded seats of the large bus, surrounded by furs we didn't know, I came to think about the state of Mobius, the state of the city we lived in. I scanned the many furs on the bus around me, most of them wolves. Our city was Mobius, capital of Anderus, known to the world as the “Wolfs Den”. Our cities population is 67% wolf, 16% fox and 17% everything else, the city was founded with the idea of equal rights to every fur, but in truth, it's majority that rules and the wolves are the majority. Normally this is no problem, wolves tend to be loyal, accepting and overall nice people, but this has changed since the wolf crusade.

  It's never a good thing when global conflicts interfere with domestic life, it happened when an anti-wolf organization known as The Black Paw decides to spread propaganda around nation of Intrint, it's half the world away, but apparently Anderus's leaders believed this was a threat. Intrint strongly enforces the right to freedom of speech, so when our leaders asked the leaders of Intrint to stop the voice of The Black Paw, they refused. Tensions became worse and worse, but the final breaking point was when a cat, who went under the name of Syte, organized an attack on Anderus itself, a bomb at a wolf hostel. This attack spread an outrage around all of Anderus, particularly our city Mobius and particularly with the wolves. This sparked the wolf crusade, an invasion of Intrint to find Syte and silence The Black Paw. Ordinarily, I keep out of matters like this, but because of Syte, cats in general have been given a bad name, around Mobius cats are at the bottom of the hierarchy.

  Our city is a developed city, it is filled with high rise buildings, clean streets and chrome cars. It is known as a new age city, a city of what should have been emerging ideals, acceptance between all species, cultures and sexualities. The wolf crusade changed that, now cats are getting fired, attacked and even killed, it's not what this city is supposed to be about.

 Paulie and I walked off the bus and into UMS, we were 10 minutes late to class but Paulie didn't mind, he was too busy trying to impress the girls to worry about our studies. After class Paulie came up to me with a large grin on his face.

 “Dude, You're never going to believe what happened!” he exclaimed with utmost enthusiasm, “You know that girl Stacy right?” He glanced over to my face, noticing my confusion. “You know, short fur, gray husky, has that black mark near her eyes? Big breasts?”

  “OH! Yeah her! I remember her.” I said with a little too much excitement as the memory of Stacy came flooding into my mind, “she sits two rows behind us, what about her?”

  As I said that I could see his eyes brightening up, “She's going on a date with me! We're gonna meet up right after work, you should get to know her then” he said with eagerness.

  “But your shift ends an hour later than mine,” I cautioned, “where are you going?”

 “We're gonna have dinner at the Zenny Gale, she says she's really into Intrint food” Paulie said, lifting his head up as he got an idea, “hey, you should come to the restaurant after your shift! We would be done eating by then and I'm sure she'd want to meet you!”

 “Alright man, I'll come see her” I said. I didn't really want to continue this conversation, so I subtly looked at my watch, pretended that I was late for something and exclaimed, “Aww man, look I have to go, but I'll definitely try to see you, Zenny Gale right?”

 “Yeah, Zenny Gale...” he said, with a little less excitement as he saw me walking away, “Alright, err, cya man...” he concluded.

  As I walked away, I grumbled to myself, why does Paulie get all the girls? Sure he is bigger then me, he has excellent golden fur, nice blue eyes and his got some muscles, but what's wrong with me? Is there something wrong with red fur? Is red fur not as good as gold fur? Am I too weak? Do I need to limber up? Maybe it's because I'm too shy? I kept asking myself these questions as I continued walking in a straight line, after a moment I stopped, I remembered where I had to go next and all my problems came back to me. I had to go back to my job, as a cashier in a supermarket, I had to deal with goddamn Darly again for another 5 hours. I had to deal with my problems again, they won't go away from my mind for long.
 
« Last Edit: February 04, 2012, 02:05:26 PM by anoni »
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Offline anoni

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Re: Selfless Chaos
« Reply #3 on: February 10, 2012, 03:57:55 PM »
Entry 3:

  I approached the front of the super-market, the night was dim and the sun was just about to disappear over the horizon. Flickering blue and cyan neon lights shined above as the slow hum of the electric motors filled my ears with a familiar sound of lost dignity. I scratched at my tight green vest and checked my name tag, “cashier” with “Marcus Mendor” written in poor handwritten pencil under it. I hate this place, I hate the outside, I hate the inside, I hate the customers, but mostly I hate Darly.
 
  So I reluctantly went in and took my post, Paulie was working an early shift, so he only needed to work for 2 hours, I'd enter before him and leave after him. I stood there, eyes fixed on the many goods that my customers gave me, grabbing each item and scanning it, calculating the amount and change required, then moving to the next customer. Wait, grab, scan, calculate, wait, grab, scan, calculate, wait, grab, scan, calculate. This over and over and over again, constantly, without rest or break. The worst part being the items they hand me, a golden plush toy, worth 84 credits, a small fitness watcher, 164 credits, a foot massager, 93 credits. These people are spending money on these things because they can and yet they still continue to complain on their sleek cell phones about how they are not well off and are so bad because they had to buy the silver ring instead of the gold one. These people make me angry, very angry sometimes, but I'm a man of self control, I know how to keep my cool.

  2 hours in, one hour until Paulie arrives, I was hoping I could hold this off but of course Darly would eventually find me. Scanning each item I slip, not a total slip, just a small one but I knocked a piece of chewing gum, still in the packet, on the floor. Like a startled deer his head pops up, his dark gray face squinting to find the source of the noise, Darly finds his target and closes in like a hawk.

  “Well, Marcus, look where we are again,” he snarled at me, breathing down my neck.

  “Sorry, sir, It was just a mistake, it should be fine, it was still in the packet” I quickly stuttered in desperation picking up the chewing gum.
 
 “It was still in the packet? I guess you don't know how germs work then do you Marcus, for a university student I picked you as smarter than that. See, the germs of the floor go onto the chewing gum packet and when the customer touches the chewing gum packet, they get the germs on there fingers and then the customer touches the chewing gum, puts it in their mouth and they ingest the germs. They get sick, we get sued,” He smugly stated, then looking at the ground, with such condescension, “And look at the floor of your place, it's filthy, you've been shedding everywhere just like the filthy fox you are. So you know what? I think this could be a good lesson for you, about keeping your work station clean. So you're gonna pay for that gum yourself and anything you drop, you're gonna pay for. I want you to also clean your work station by tonight, if you don't, then I'll have you cleaning everyone's work station, or you'll be fired. So tell me, little fox, what is it going to be?”

  My paws clenched up into fists, I breathed harder and harder, every ounce of restraint I had was fighting against my urge to say something. For only a piece of gum, giving me that crap, it's just not fair! Someone like him shouldn't be in charge, he should be locked away in a prison or locked away somewhere, somewhere where I couldn't see him. But I need this job, I need the money, so I did what is always hardest to do, I swallowed my pride and simply looked at him and said, “yes sir...”. The words seem disgusting, pitiful and pathetic but it is something I had to say, something I had to do. I hate this place, I hate this job and I most certainly hate this man, damn Darly.

  By the time work finished I had enough, I just wanted to go home and clean up my apartment and take my mind off the entire day, but Paulie reminded me constantly and consistently, to meet him at the Zenny Gale so I couldn't use the “I forgot” excuse on him, I had to go. Well, I was at least happy to walk out of there and finally leave that god forsaken place.

  I walked down the street, to the Zenny Gale, when I heard some noises, rustling, screaming, fighting even. I crept through the small maze of alleys that blocked my path in order to find the source of this commotion. There I saw it, one slim black cat sitting on the ground with watery eyes and four large white dogs standing above him. This cannot be good...
« Last Edit: February 10, 2012, 04:03:29 PM by anoni »
  • Avatar by: WingedZephyr
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(int(e-x^2, x = -infinity..infinity))2 = Pi


We fight, we recruit, we are the anthropomorphic army. FDF forever!

$_ = "gntusbovueqrmwkradehijqr"; tr/a-z/lad hijacked under stop sign!/; print $_, "\n";

 

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