99 Problems

[Armalite_]

I cannot take the level of tension going in my house. I cannot be in a decent relationship with the girl I love because my abusive and malicious parents who couldn't care less about me, are actively and purposely ruining my relationship and openly insult myself and her in their presence then try to justify it. I cannot live the rest of my life with this girl because she now refuses to have ANY physical contact with them like a vegan to meat. Every time I see her she tells me how awful they are and how much she hates them. It irritates me only because they are my parents but it upsets me even more that she's right. If I have a future in this relationship, I will see way less of my family and they will see way less of me. I feel bad though because they are my family and I do want to be a part of it because I'd like to think that family means something to me but instead I'm treated like some lazy ass who's the disappointment that isn't capable of owning up to anything no matter what I do to try and make them happy and try to somehow get their respect for myself and my girlfriend. But I get confused when I have 2 jobs to pay for what I need, attend a university and have better grades than any of my siblings whom they like to compare me with frequently. The stress of this on it's own is literally killing me. I get so upset and angry over these things that I have mental breakdowns at least once a day.


I'm not sure what to do. It's like no matter what I choose to do, I will always feel resentment from my parents who hate my girlfriend who has done nothing to them, and my girlfriend will always hate my parents who have abused me my whole life and her for as long as she has been together with me. Even if I move away from this place I will still be losing something I value even though I have every reason not to. If I choose to stay in this place, I will lose her, the only person who has ever cared about me more than anyone I have ever known and I will hate my parents for forcing the girl I love out of my life.


and I don't know what to do about it but sit around and smoke, feeling sorry for myself. She reminds me everyday, my parents remind me everyday and I cannot handle it. I'm past my breaking point and for the first time in my life, I feel helpless because I know how this will end and I'm on the losing end of every outcome.


It is an inevitable loss and I don't expect anyone to really care, which is part of the reason why I figured I'd post what's been bothering me so badly for the past 3 years on a random page of the interwebs. I guess it makes me feel better that at least someone knows...

[anoni]

Ok. Here are some suggestions or recommendations I'm going to make, they might not be relevant and you might of already tried them but they could be just some things to think about.

  I could be wrong, but in most situations usually the parents are angry or overprotective because they believe they know what's best for you and know what makes you happy. This is usually a wrong assumption the parents have, but it does mean you might be able to appeal to that side of nature. Now, assuming you haven't done this, you should talk to your parents, in a nice calm and safe manner, and tell them how this is bothering you. Explain to them everything really, about your girlfriend, about your smoking, about what each means to you and how you can justify seeing your girlfriend. Then if your parents are even the slightest bit convinced, then maybe you can start to convince your girlfriend too.

  I think, there might be a way out of this so you aren't at the losing end, I don't know the whole situation so I can't really make that judgement. But if you see the situation as more of a tactical approach, something you can DO, something that you can see as possible to figure out a way to solve it, you might just figure out a way to solve it. I hope things go well.

[Bandal]

Hmm I would actually suggest you make some excuse to get away for the weekend alone. Get a few days to set you head straight and figure out your options . Stress, fear, and guilt are not exactly the best friends of good decision making after all . I don't really know enough about your situation to really give any more advice . Anyway I hope things turn out well for you and if you ever need an ear to rant to feel free to drop me a pm I'm quite good at listening .