I know it hurts feeling worthless but trust me when you do your best at something as long as you know you did the best you could be proud, i never feel like I've been able to do the best i always feel i can do better, and honestly i have no clue why your consular would say its okay to be Emotionally Abused by anyone, but sadly there is nothing your can do, you can try writing and get alot of the feelings out, and i'm not the best person to talk about that because i have never been abused thank goodness, and trust me as my gf's dad puts it
"God don't put ya through anything he knows you can't handle"
and i feel its the same for any religion just replace god with another being