Disclaimer: this is a rant. And I'm very worked up, very sad. Btw, some minor swearing involved but no F-bombs.
In just a few short days, I will be leaving the central standard time zone of North America to go to mountain time or whatever in Arizona. Well, let me give you a little more info but keep it vague.
My parents have been divorced for a very long time now and I live with my mom in the CST zone. It's the only life I've ever known for however long my parents have been split up.
So my dad lives in Arizona, and is taking my brother and I for three weeks to stay with him. Now, I really don't want to go, I haven't wanted to go since my dad told me about it in the spring. It's very stressful and with the jobs my brother and I just started… it doesn't make us look good for taking 3 weeks of work off when you've just started…
And to put this bluntly, my dad is an asshole.
So like I've said, I don't want to go on this 3 week vacation and well, I had gotten into a fight with my mom about my irresponsibility and how being late can really kill your chances of being asked to do something again. And i just the conversation the cold shoulder, shrugged it off, and was told I'm just like my dad's side of the family when they're confronted with shit. So to win this fight, I tell my mom, as I descend into my living quarters, to have fun for the 3 weeks my brother and I are gone. Yeah. Wasn't very smart. Because she came into my living quarters and began yelling, and as women, well, our eyes weren't functioning properly.
When you don't see someone who's supposed to take care of you and spend time with you and be a parental figure to you, yet lives to far away and doesn't support what you do, it's hard to want to spend a day with them. I'm going to miss my mother, and I get homesick easily and the only family I'll have with me during those 3 weeks is my brother.
And I'll have my broken heart too because I'm going to miss everyone…
And here I am. Making this stupid rant just so I can get it off of my chest and shoulders because no one else seems able to listen right now…
I'm not looking for sympathy or empathy or whatever the hell feelings you want to give to me. I just. I don't even know anymore.
I really don't like people…