This was initially going to be a part of the dating thread. But after thinking about it, I’ve decided to make this its own thread. I feel that this is big enough to be its own topic. I decided not to change stuff about the romantic relationships, because that too is a part of being socially awkward and worth talking about. This is a serious topic, and I feel as if it would be beneficial to all to start a conversation about this topic.
Now, I'm going to get into a rant. It’s less about romantic relationships, but I would say it still applies. It’s more about being that “different,” socially awkward guy. I don’t know if this is the right spot to say this, but I feel that it is very important. I hate reading people on TFF feeling like crap because of their social situation Not because of them, but because I know how it feels, and I would like to show them what I think of all of this social stuff.
College has been said to be a place where people discover themselves. I can't say that for most people, but I have been trying to do so. Over the past, my ideas, my taste, my activities, and my being have changed. Originally I was really into video games, but now I've actually started to read books. If you'd tell my past-year-me that I would be reading, I would laugh at you. But in all of my areas of change, my social life has been one of them.
My social life pre-college was horrid. I had few friends and had trouble interacting with other students, and I've never dated before. I was awkward and very self-conscious. In college, I had a fresh start, and I planned to make the most of it. This will be the time where I can fix my social faults; where I could do more socially; and maybe I would be able to date, but I wouldn't force it since there’s more than dating. But alas, my current experience has been proving otherwise. But ironically, it's not necessarily due to me.
Starting with my classes, I thought maybe I could befriend some people, but it's harder than it seems. Most people either
(a) are too busy paying attention, or more commonly
(b) just don't want to socialize. You may be able to bump into a few people, but nothing has ever gone beyond a quick hello and conversation relating to the course. Nothing was going as I thought. This wasn't a problem, but I started to feel funny.
I’m in college for engineering. During my first semester, I was dorming in a floor for engineers only. I thought that maybe engineers would be as awkward and "nerdy" as myself. However, the
complete opposite was the case. Instead, the students basically said, "hey, we're in college, get drunk and party." I never expected such debauchery from engineers. It was always loud, and just about everyone was binge drinking on the weekends, amongst other “activities”. I don't even want to go into how snobby and smug they were. It didn't get much better with my dorm mates. Of the three I had, one of them grew to hate me for some unknown reason, probably for manipulation and power, and the other one refused to be social. The third one, thankfully, turned out to be a good soul. Eventually, the situation got so bad that moved into a non-major specific dorm before the first semester ended. I'm still good friends with the one guy.
The first semester was brimming with work, so I held off on getting involved with clubs until my second semester. My first and obvious choice was the gaming club. Maybe this time I would find more like-minded people? Spoiler: no, no I wouldn’t. What the club turned out to be was a bunch of people who only played Magic the Gathering and Smash Bros, and refused to socially integrate new members, or normies who barely played games, who also refused so integrate the newbies into the club. Here, let me give you an example. One of the first kids I met was a goofy guy. When I started, he was this awkward but otherwise nice guy to be around. Now… he wears a gold chain, has a perma-tan, and does nothing but social media. When I initially joined, I had my thumb up my butt when I was in club activities. I tried to talk and integrate, but nothing seemed to work. I blamed it on myself, and started feeling depressed, thinking that I had no hope. However, as time went on, I started contemplating the situation. This lead to conversations about me and the club with a few of my family members, and we reached the conclusion that it was the members that was at fault. Ironic, since typically it’s the fault of the individual. During the earlier part of this semester, I’ve annulled any involvement with the club. I keep a few contacts with some of the people, but we don’t do much, due to work loads.
Since then, I decided to get into graphic novels, and joined the comic club. I’ve always been a fan of animation and the visual arts, so why not? While I’ve been liking it, the club hasn’t been all that much. I mean, they actually socialize and I can interact and converse with them sometimes, but all they talk about is either “The Flash” or “Arrow.” Honestly, what am I doing in the club; what am I getting out of it?
Now, this is a thread about relationships, so to make this rant somewhat related to the topic, here’s a part about the women in college. For romantic relationships, it hasn’t been good. It all comes down to the fact that it’s just hard to be able to make the initial contacts. In some cases, such as with the lectures, no one wants to converse. In other cases, such as with the engineers, it’s better to avoid them at all costs. In the end, it’s one big “GL HF” when it comes to romances. My only other option is online dating, really.
I’ll also place a spot in for what I’ve seen of other relationships. In short, they crash and burn with no survivors. People date and hook up because they think that it’s the cool thing to do or because it’s an obligation, almost as if it’s compulsory. Seldom do they do so because they personally want a genuine relationship, as in to be with a significant other and for the long term. Dating for dating may work out in the short term, but you’ve already set yourself up for failure down the road. Even in the relationships that seem to be genuine, they can end explosively and terribly. This is personal experience from witnessing my older siblings’ dating experiences. Dating can be disastrous. In the case of my older brother, he flunked his first year of college over a horrid girlfriend. In the case of my oldest sister, we end up taking in two cats because her boyfriend took in said cats without a second though and eventually neglected them.
I know that this has been an abnormally long post, but I want to display a message; that message being that it will “suck” for us “different” and socially awkward people to intermingle with the general society. My theory so far is that no matter what I like or do, it will ultimately end up futile. I’m a very different and uncommon person in a general sense, and almost opposite to what the college culture expects of me. I just don’t do many of the things that my peers do. I can demean myself and join the hookup culture, binge drink, spend countless hours on social media sites, but in the end, since I don’t have a desirable personality and I ultimately don’t care for such things, most people will not give me the chance!!! It will go nowhere since I’ll be a fake. Ultimately, for my solution, I have to find groups of the uncommon for me to join. Easier said than done.
Why did I say “suck” in the start of the previous paragraph? Because while it is painful, it is actually a surprising benefit. All of these other kids are joining these big social groups, but it’s feign. The friendships don’t last, and romantic relationships especially don’t last, but the bad habits they picked up to fit in do. From what I’ve seen, most of these kids don’t end up in good situations. Meanwhile, us socially awkward folk retain our being, our self, our unique individuality. Eventually, we bump into each other and form strong, long lasting relationships that have positive rather than negative effects. For the awkward, our social life is one that automatically points towards the long term rather than the short term. Our relationships typically are better ones.
Overall, try to be more social, but don’t be surprised if it goes nowhere. Don’t blame yourself and don’t get depressed if you don’t end up with a big group of friends. A few good friends is better than a large group of superfluous friends. Don’t subvert and pervert yourself just to “fit in” with the normies and to socialize. In the end, it will be better to try to find like-minded people and integrate with them, and to be yourself. Try to be introspective, and find out about yourself; it goes a long way. As for the dating, don’t date because you’re pressured to, or because you feel like you have to, but date because you want to be with a significant other, or if you think you’ve found that significant other. Dating for the sake of dating sets you up for failure
Am I being clear, or do I sound like I’m rambling? I don’t know, I have this feeling inside that I have to express. What feels like unknown knowledge that I want to expose and show to you guys, because I want you guys to know that it’s alright to be awkward and different. Ultimately, I don't want anyone to feel bad about not fitting in. I guess what I'm trying to say is that being socially awkward and an individual sucks, but it works out better for you in the long run.
Hopefully I didn’t just spend 90 minutes typing up one massive shitpost. 
NINJA EDIT: Added stuff to last paragraph, formatting because it was screwed up.
Topic: On Being Socially Awkward, and on Being Different Overall (Read 497 times)