Family problems and general life stress

[Alistair]

I've only been out of the parent's house for a month and a few weeks so far, and I hadn't anticipated how much shit it would cause. A twenty mile move, mind you its a half hour away from my moms, she still finds a way to get into town via ambulance; then expects me to let her stay overnight. This caused more shit with my grandmother, her mother. Who left a voicemail on my phone saying "You're not my grandchild anymore."


My general thought to that was just "Bitch, bye. One less person to visit on the holidays." I didn't leave my mom on the street, I walked her back to the ER waiting room where she would at least be warm and safe until the five-thirty AM bus. Reason being that I couldn't even keep her for one night because I have my mate living with me and we were both uncomfortable with her general presence and her rudeness.


Keep in mind she showed up at nearly eleven at night and completely unannounced.


On top of this after paying bills I have about a hundred and forty dollars to feed two people for a MONTH. It buys groceries for a week then her and I go to this local place that has meals Monday's, Wednesday's, Friday's, and around holidays. Which means my mate and I go hungry on weekends, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. Its stressing both of us out but there's no way in hell I'm moving back in with my mom. Sure its financially easier, but I don't think its worth the emotional trauma she puts me through.


Recently the family dog passed away. From cancer. He had a black growth on his leg which my mom thought was an embedded tick and paid it no mind, didn't even take him to the vet to get it checked. Turns out that black growth was cancer and he had it since LAST YEAR. By the time she got the dog help (This month) it was too late. She left him alone while going to an appointment and when she came back he was dead. This is not the first time she has let her emotions rule out reason and definitely not the first time she let an animal DIE in that house because she wouldn't let go of them.


And its still very new to be out on my own, but it made me see how much bullshit my mom really caused once I was finally out for good. I can see a lot of my problems came primarily from her and she tried to blame it on everyone else.

[Armalite_]

Sorry to hear about your dog I'm sure he's in a better place.

Your mom and grandma sound pretty emotionally unstable, it's common. My grandmother is the same way and my dad got so tired of her BS that he stopped answering her calls and wouldn't let us visit her. I hope she's doing well, I haven't spoken to her in years. If this is something that sounds appealing to you, then it's worth a try. Cutting negativity off seems to have worked for me so far. You don't owe an explaination, just do what you need to do. Consider that she is still your mother and always will be but perhaps talking a break from your family to focus on work and surviving through the year wouldn't hurt.

This is why when I moved away I didn't tell anybody where my new place was, got a new number, and never set up a voicemail. I never bring anyone other than my mate or close friends over. If someone I didn't trust or didn't want coming around my place who wanted to see me, I would go meet them at their place or somewhere else. Moving away is never easy but part of moving away is leaving behind the drama that followed you around. No sense packing it in along with with rest of the furniture.

As for money, I'm guessing the 2 of you both work full or part time? Is there anywhere you can cut costs or increase your combined income to allow for more than $70/person a month for food? Maybe look for a room mate? Less than $20/week isn't getting much but I had to live off gas station food for 6 months when I was in University and I ate maybe once a day when I only had $20 every week. My cabinet consisted of bagels, butter, tap water, and rum. I ended up taking up a labour job doing lanscaping on weekends for $15/hr. It really helped but I never saw the light of day for any free time outside of studying and work. Finding an extra room mate or a new job would be a couple options I'd look at if moving somewhere cheaper is out of the question.