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Author Topic: Flustered  (Read 547 times)

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Offline Wander

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Flustered
« on: November 01, 2016, 03:13:43 PM »
I am having an issue with someone i feel close to, for all intents and purposes i'm going to be reffering to them as Jeffery.

Over the last year  or so I have been dipping in and out of contact with Jeffery who lives outside of the country that in which I live.(Up untill about the last 4 months in which we have been in near constant contact) but every so often when I would go out with or start socializing with another friend or group of friends he becomes upset (despite my best efforts to make him feel included by sending him pictures, and calling him) to the point of trying to push me out of his life with out explaining the reason why. Now when we are in contact he is typically down right affectionate and generally a lovely person, but even if we are fine the night before as soon as i go out and let him know he kinda goes berserk.

   So this last week i was on vaction and staying at a friend's house just to be away from the area where i live, and on tuesday he messaged me and we talked as normal, me not mentioning i was out. I didn't message him for the rest of the week (due to partailly not wanting to be rude to the friend hosting me and after admitedly forgetting to message him the next day and being kind of afraid of his reaction) untill sunday when i had come home. And still i have not recieved word from him 3 days later,however i have noticed some passive agressive text on some of his accounts.
   The whole situation has me both frustrated and confused.

Apollogies about the block of text...
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Offline Ventus Fall

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Re: Flustered
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2016, 05:15:42 PM »
I'll get straight to the point: To me it sounds like he is rather controlling and manipulative, and I would advise to be really careful around this person. He might not realise it, but it won't help the situation if he does. If you can't be honest with him when you're hanging out with others, then to me that shows you cannot and do not have an open and caring relationship (even if he is affectionate when you do spend time together). 'Jeffery' should allow you to hang out with others.
Although have you ever tried to talk to him about it? Said it's bothering/worrying you, and that you really enjoy him as a friend, but don't like it when he does those things?
If you haven't, and he is willing to talk about it, then things can be worked on. If he isn't willing to talk about it and gets frustrated, I would suggest to get out as soon as possible.
And why?
Because this behaviour should not be accepted, and it could even get worse if it continues. It would be better for you in that case to break contact. It might be hard, but you have other friends, and I think it might be best you spend more time, effort and energy into those friendships than with 'Jeffrey'.

Hope this helps.
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Offline Wander

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Re: Flustered
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2016, 07:01:22 PM »
I guess i just needed to hear it from someone else, thanks.
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Offline Ventus Fall

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Re: Flustered
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2016, 07:53:36 PM »
Hey, no problem, just take care, ok? :)

As of which, I forgot to respond to the part where you apologised for the wall of text. Trust me, it's not too much to read :P Besides, if you're asking for help or just want to rant, feel free to write however much you want. (Same goes for other topics, but you get the point, I think ;D)
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Offline Wander

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Re: Flustered
« Reply #4 on: November 01, 2016, 09:03:44 PM »
Somthing kinda ironic and a little scary, while i was reading your responce he sent me a message saying "Sorry"


Would you respond if you were in my position?
« Last Edit: November 02, 2016, 02:44:01 AM by Ruckus »
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Offline Ventus Fall

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Re: Flustered
« Reply #5 on: November 02, 2016, 10:16:59 PM »
It's hard to know if he actually means it, or if he just wants you back. Besides, did he say anything other than 'sorry'?
What I would suggest, if you want to try to keep the friendship and see if you can make it work:
Discuss it with the person, say you don't like the behaviour and can't keep it up like this, that you want to make it to work. Something along those lines. And if they do it again, break off contact.
However, if you have already talked with this person about their behaviour (be it once or multiple times before) than just leave how it is and indeed not respond, just break off contact, since you would have already talked with them about it in the past.

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Offline Captain Degenerate

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Re: Flustered
« Reply #6 on: November 05, 2016, 09:44:41 PM »
All I can say if its an online friend who salty I dont message them because Im busy they can shove it up there *censored* ass and remove me I wouldn't care.
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