oh no, loss of housing

[mjaupap]

hello dears, worried kitty here with a need to write, thank you for understanding




"The contract won't be renewed, you have two weeks."


i got on my feet and found some good, cheap places but they were always a "maybe" I guess with good reason "too far away from work" was the most common, even though it was in the same area we currently lived. My room-mate found a student apartment and I agreed to move there.


the past six months or so have been really good, it's best friends under the same roof after all. Last week she won the bid on an apartment all of her own, that she wants to move in by herself. That's great and I am very happy for her. I do have to find someone new to share with and she hasn't lived here long enough to write the contract over to me, so it is either be kicked out our live here illegally with whoever I can find.


she's my best friend and i feel... well i'm not even sure. I feel angry that we moved here mostly on her terms and now, how it goes for me be damned, but I agreed to it. We've talked and she's said that she will keep a look-out for roomies and stay on the contract but to be honest those are a big "maybe" and "we'll see". 


"we moved here mostly on your terms", the air got very tense, i couldn't speak more i felt sick. No, i thought, I agreed to it, it isn't right to point fingers after the fact. I changed the subject. I think I need to work my feelings out elsewhere before talking to her, blunt the edge of my words. I don't want to -be- angry at her, I just want her to know my perspective. I feel that is the right thing to do. That's what I want to do.


At least I have more than two weeks this time.


and I need a hug

[Trixsie Vixen]

*hugs*


That's a tough break.  I hope something comes up.


There is a sense in which you agreed to move in with the tacit agreement that you friend wasn't going anywhere and if you wanted to force the issue you could, but if there is nothing to be gained other than your friend apologizing then there isn't a lot to be gained, whereas letting it go might be the most diplomatic course of action.


You don't want to bottle up resentment but sometimes you have to pick your battles too.


Very tricky predicament.

[mjaupap]

-hugs-


thank you for your perspective, i need a safe environment to talk about this, so thank you for helping and taking the time


you put the finger on what i couldn't. It feels better that I understand -what- it was that bothered me and i agree that there's not much to gain spilling my frustration out.


Though I kinda did before changing the subject. And I can't take it back. It is a bit tense in the apartment right now


~feelings~ well, sometimes it's just like this, in the end you apologize and come together again.

[Trixsie Vixen]

It might even be for the best that your feelings slipped out and then you changed the subject.  It lets her know you've been affected and it feels unfair that she kinda set you up and pulled out the rug, but it also shows you're not trying to be an ass about it and create drama for its own sake.


That might make it easier for her to accept she has played a role in you being messed around because her defenses aren't automatically up against a confrontation.


How she handles things will perhaps show how good a friend she is.  The best friendships can be built out of these events.


However it turns out, it is good to have a place where you can vent to people who don't have a stake in the issue.  Sometimes that's enough.

[mjaupap]

yeah... it has put my perspective on the table,


I got on the wrong train today and didn't notice for a while. Stranded with an hour to do nothing. Composed a text message, rewrote, rewrote, rewrote and was happy with it. I said sorry for my slights, told her i'm still happy she found something, but also that i felt abandoned and sad, and what if the roles had been reversed? No demands, no accusations, no shouting, i'm not looking for a confrontation, just understanding.


it feels, though i'm still upset, good not to process everything by myself, to say that i'm not okay. Like you said Trixsie, you pick your battles. Hopefully, she'll take the next step now.


I also notice my hug got typed in tiny text so *tiny hug* ?

[Trixsie Vixen]

Lol *tiny hugs*


I think you have handled it well.  Like you say, hopefully she will take the next step and approach it with the same spirit as you.


I believe understanding is a noble goal.  regardless of what comes next at least you aren't just processing yourself inside now.


*BIG HUGS* 

[mjaupap]

BIGGEST OF HUGS trixsie !!

i'm just jumping in with -what i hope- is an update of closure,


we avoided each other over the weekend, which, in a small apartment where i don't even have a door to my room is quite the feat hah!
but she came and talked to me, she had been looking more at the legal notices and said that she might have found a loophole and so on.
i appreciate that she's trying to help but there's just too many "if this works then maybe's", so i said that it's probably better for me to look at a new place instead.


maybe in time we'll talk about our roles in the whole thing, or maybe we won't. Right now, today, at Sunday morning it feels like it doesn't really matter either way. So i'll be looking for a new place. I called my parents and told them about the whole situation and they have offered to help move the furniture, which i am very thankful for. They have also said i could come home over the next weekend which i'll also do, just to get a short little break.


Again, many thanks Trixsie for taking your time, hugs of all sizes to you!  >w<

[Trixsie Vixen]

No worries, you sound like a very mature fur.  I hope things work out unexpectedly well (as things sometimes do), and would say good luck, but I think you shall make your own luck!