k, I'm in my third year of college, seriously doubting if this is the right path I'm on (computers) and for about 8 years the army has been something to think about for me. Now the time seems to have come and I'm reconsidering my future.
Do I go out there and fight for my friends and family? my country? those are my reasons to want to go out there, whenever I see our troops killed part of me was thinking "I should have been fighting beside them". This links in with where I don't fear my own death whatsoever. But the feeling of making friends while serving and the constant threat of possibly losing them tears me apart, I've always valued friends over myself, not that I don't think of myself as low compared to them, but they mean so much to me.
Let me get on too...is my pride for my country and those I know blinding me? if I go out, whos saying what horrors I might encounter. But if I don't I have years, maybe a lifetime of regret for not trying to do my family proud.
I'm thinking of dropping out of college for this...should I at least finish my year first? or just get a job in computers and take what I have and try and leave this behind?
In all, the thought of serving...It's like it's always been there, like a calling. Though I have a four year old brother, trying to be a good one being an only child for most of my childhood (I'm 18). Who's going to be there for him if I'm gone?
Sorry if this was all over the place, my head is torn in two at the moment. Any advice to offer guys?