Here's a more detailed revision of my first passage. It starts from the beginning. Structure might be a bit shakey, but tell me if it holds your attention! 
War
Today was the day of “extraction”, or at least that's what they called it. As much as they tried to sugarcoat It using fancy terminology it was still a cruel happening. It was part of their 3-part plan: First they'd “extract” us from the country, then they “relocate” us to a camp far up in Southern Canada. The third part they wouldn't tell us...
All of this began about two years ago in a Swiss laboratory. Two scientists had successfully implanted human genes in a rat, causing it to grow thumbs, ears, and even become capable of speech. Soon enough people thought that this could work the opposite manner. After their method was released, American scientists implanted the genes of a dog into a adult human. It was a success, giving the creature a humanoid figure with canine attributes. Soon enough a handful of people wanted this relatively cheap surgery. They wanted to become “anthropomorphic”, as they called it. Most came from the furry community while others saw it as a way to begin a new life as a completely different creature.
The surgery circulated and soon more than 20% of America's population was anthropomorphic creatures. They varied from canine, to feline, and even reptilian. People lived as their dream, completely satisfied.
Then one day, the government along with people intolerant of anthros (they) came up with a plan to rid the country of all of us. They called it the “cleansing program”. It was a 3-step program, that would turn all the anthros lives of prosperity into a living hell.
No matter how we tried to reason, they did not listen. Today they would force us from our homes to be “relocated”.
There was a firm knock on the door. I could hear it from my room so I knew it had to be them. My father went to answer the door. There was a lot of yelling and at one point my mother came out. They both tried to reason with them until everything went from bad to worse. There were three gunshots and the yelling stopped abruptly. I ran out of my room down the hall. There I saw two lumps on the ground with a black sheet being thrown over them by two human men in suits. The lumps under the sheet were my parents. I fell to my knees and began to cry, harder than I ever had before. “subjects showed hostile force, two adult casualties”, I heard one of them say into his earpiece. I got up, wiped my eyes and ran toward the back door. One of them blocked the exit and handcuffed me. They brought me outside and threw me into the back of a black van with other anthros.
Everyone looked sad and angry. Nobody even looked as I was tossed in. I thrashed against the door, then found a seat in the corner and cried until I fell asleep.
The main character Taox is 12 at the time
Topic: FOX (Read 1221 times)