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Author Topic: Nyx's lame poetry!  (Read 1688 times)

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Offline Goblin Cat 😸

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Nyx's lame poetry!
« on: October 04, 2007, 12:25:15 AM »
Yeah, so I have a few poems...
(Yeah, that's right, I write a bit other than just RPing...)
I always tend to give out background info on my poetry so that you may understand it a little better than you would just reading it alone. Not to say that my poetry is so abstract that it cannot stand on its own, I just like to give the reader a little cushion to go on, I guess. I think it's a little neat to know what was going on in the author's head when they were writing.

Well, here goes!

xxxxxxxxxx

Background: This poem is basically how my views on love have changed since I've been with my mate. I was always pessimistic on the subject of love, mainly because I have a tendency to loath myself and the person I am... Which made it hard to believe that there might be someone out there that might actually love me. It also reflects upon the fact that not only was I pessimistic about it, but I was also afraid. (Yes, that's right, afraid.) Everything I'd ever heard about love were true stories about how it was a train wreck just waiting to happen... So I never actually grasped the concept of how it could possibly be good. In fact, I distinctly recall avoiding my mate's kiss when I had a feeling he was going to tell me he liked me more than a friend because I was terrified that if something went wrong, that it would ruin our friendship... Silly I know, but I had always preferred to have nothing do with love in general.

xxxxxxxxxx

(Untitled) on the subject of love.

Love was frightening,
completely confusing!
Not a choice
I'd soon be choosing!
because high school love
isn't meant to last;
just to flourish once
then place in your past.
But everything you've shown me
proved my thoughts wrong
we've lasted a long while;
we're still going strong.
And I thank that you're with me
with all I've been through,
I couldn't have survived
without you.

xxxxxxxxxx

Creative criticism is welcomed as well as suggestions/comments! Give me some feed back and once I get my notebook from my Creative Writing teacher, I'll post more.

Offline Joker Rose

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Re: Nyx's lame poetry!
« Reply #1 on: October 04, 2007, 12:33:44 AM »
not bad at all i like the phraseing but you need more imagery theres almost no imagery to it  but other than that its good

Joker Rose
beating...to the rythem of a drum
no to the rythem of a heart
to the one thing that stands
and the one thing keeping us a part
because i am a furry
and you think nothing of me
humans are ignorant
for that we can never be
*Joker Rose*
imvu name= theemortaljokerrose

Offline Dr. Strange

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Re: Nyx's lame poetry!
« Reply #2 on: October 05, 2007, 08:22:47 PM »
very beautiful nyx. keep writing, its good to see things your way. maybe ill post some of my poetry on here...
{or not}
I go by many names; Mistress of the Abandoned; King of the Shattered; Duchess of the Damned; Nightcatcher; and Dreamwatcher.
but I am untamed and therefor
Your Worst Nightmare
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Offline crazeyfox

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Re: Nyx's lame poetry!
« Reply #3 on: October 09, 2007, 09:46:48 PM »
Good job I wish i could actualy write REAL pomes i jsut ask questions..not that questions are bed..its just the way i put it..But um yes! It was good I do agree with joker  and..but it all depends on the reader...like the saying some like it hot some like it cold :) But yes keep it up i like it.
If you dont like the way i am dont bother talking


Dont try the queen of dimonds boy..She will beat you down if she's able Alwaste take the Queen of hearts she will alwase be your best bet.

Offline Goblin Cat 😸

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Re: Nyx's lame poetry!
« Reply #4 on: October 09, 2007, 10:15:14 PM »
Yush, I finally got my notebook back, which got an A+ by the way.
*adjust glasses and releases a nasally 'yay'*

xxxxxxxxxx

(Untitled) on the subject of Hate

The choices I make always seem to be wrong,
even when the sense of right is oh-so-strong,
But it's just an illusion for me to see,
That it's not the world; it's only me
Who doesn't belong, doesn't relate
and will always cause an idiotic debate
because I believe in speaking my mind,
(to strive to lead, not follow behind.)
and since my thoughts are considered absurd,
I'll silence my voice, not to be heard.
to watch you wither out of spite,
and retreat from the enemy, losing the fight.
After all, who cared for conversation
with me, a discrepancy, an abomination?

xxxxxxxxxx

I dunno why, but my teacher liked this one a lot. I don't understand it because this one is especially lame.



Offline Joker Rose

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Re: Nyx's lame poetry!
« Reply #5 on: October 10, 2007, 12:52:09 AM »
i beg to differ i like it
beating...to the rythem of a drum
no to the rythem of a heart
to the one thing that stands
and the one thing keeping us a part
because i am a furry
and you think nothing of me
humans are ignorant
for that we can never be
*Joker Rose*
imvu name= theemortaljokerrose

Offline Dr. Strange

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Re: Nyx's lame poetry!
« Reply #6 on: October 21, 2007, 10:24:52 PM »
it is so not lame. i think it is magnificint! very constructed and i can def. see why your teacher loved it.
*gives thumbs up*
great work. id give it like a hundred A+s
I go by many names; Mistress of the Abandoned; King of the Shattered; Duchess of the Damned; Nightcatcher; and Dreamwatcher.
but I am untamed and therefor
Your Worst Nightmare
~~Dr. Stitches "Sahara" Strange~~ experiment from D13 -------->
Pet's name: A734RF50G
Adopt virtual pets at Chicken Smoothie!

 

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