A rant because I'm a whiner

[✡]

I know I haven't been active like at all, but I'm just gonna put this rant here because I honestly don't have many people to talk to.

When the new year started I was full of temporary piss and vinegar, oh boy 2014 was going to be the best year ever! Then my bike broke, then my washing machine broke, then I had to pay out an extra $1400 I didn't have to my university for an unexpected charge, then my depression hit me full force at the crucial beginning of the semester, I'm completely 100% broke and out of food, my best friends appear to be planning to ditch me next year, and lots more shit.
It's funny how my life has turned into a challenge to see how long I can stay "happy" until I'm right back to square one. Every attempt to fix my life feels like a wasted effort, a temporary way to stave off the inevitable unhappiness.<REMOVED>
I can't tell anybody about these thoughts though because what happens to people who are "in danger" is that they get sent to psych wards where things just get worse. I personally don't feel like being treated like a baby by the government and my parents because my feelings got a booboo.
I wish I deserved to be happy but there has never existed someone less worthy of happiness than I. Still though, my grievances with the world seem petty compared to other people's problems, so I just hate myself even more for being a whiny bitch. I just wish I had something that made me worth something, but no, I'm just here to complain and take up resources. I'm not a hateful person, but I've never hated anyone more than I hate myself.
My therapist wants me to seek medical treatment, but I'm not sure if I want to know the truth about my depression. I'm hoping it's just your average serotonin deficiency, in which case I can just get medication, but if not, then there's no way out. Seeing how my life has gone up to this point, there's probably no way out.

[HankTOBA]

You are not whiny, I dont think you are even complaining.
If you ever want to talk about about bikes of books or whatever im here.
I apologize, i am useless when it comes to "serious" things.

[STURMWULFE]

Whiner? More like winner, if you can take that amount of shit and keep moving forward, you're a winner in my books.

[Twilight Rose]

Definitely NOT a whiner, but I feel the need to mention that depression is rarely so simple as a serotonin deficiency. And medication is a gamble with psych drugs. Without fail. It's always "Hmm... x amount of drug y.... Try this, if symptoms haven't improved in a month come back, we'll try something else." It's kinda sad, and it's a sucky process, but it helps in the long run. Stay strong!

[NautilusWolf]

You are a strong Foxaroo! I've had my share of the fecal matter having a collision course with the oscillating  device. I've had my parents divorce at age 10 or so, I lost my dog, house foreclosure, my sister had "problems" (too deep to talk about...), my great grandmother passed Halloween 2013, my father almost died due to alcohol abuse and the doctor said there's no way he should be alive due to organ failure, but he's three years sober, and hasn't touched the stuff since, I moved to the other side of the U.S., I have OCD and depression(relatively minor thankfully) and I have few remnants of my childhood. Mind you, this was the past 7 years of my life (I'm almost 17). Now, my sister is happy and healthy, I'm happy, and I am going in the Navy at 18 years old, and I refuse to quit. Moral of the story is, you are not a whiner. You're venting. Things get better, I promise, but it's a matter of when. And the fact that we're 3 months into 2014 (as of my post) shows that you've made it this far, you can make it! Just stay strong and know that there are good people in this world willing to help!
"If you're going through HELL, keep going." -Winston Churchill

[Tim Siguire]

I'll vouch and say You sir are more of a champion instead of a whiner.
And honestly, you are not whining or bitching... eh, you are merely letting us now how you feel and what you are going through.
Bro, if you think about it, we are your journal of infite support and stress relief.
I'm also agreeing with what everyone else said.
It's just a matter of time, it's experimentally ''successful''... etc.
Roo Brother, we have been your wall of sand, your pillow of shouts, your gel footsoles, your personal (in a way) journal.
You talk to us, we support you and try to help or provide advice.
We are your friends, but you already know that.
Keep pushing soldier! Things shall get better!