Hey man *hugs*
Personally I don't have a problem with you sending a private message of an intimate nature.
But as a parent I understand conceptualizing your child as a sexual being isn't easy. Intellectually you want your kids to have a healthy, satisfying sex life, but emotionally you want to lock them away and sit on the porch with a loaded shotgun.
Add in issues of orientation, internet predators and any fetish details and the emotional voice can really drown out the intellectual one.
Once the shock wears off maybe your parents will be cool, but maybe meeting them halfway by acknowledging theirconcerns as valid might help you make your case that you aren't doing anything wrong.
Without knowing your parents I can only guess what their views are, but if, as you imply, they have a lot going on and are stressed already, any one thing which they do not approve of is enough to condemn any online relationship.
Remember, just because this is hard for your psrents doesn't mean you have done anything wrong. So don't be too hard on yourself.
If you want to talk just PM me buddy.