It's been at least 4 years since I've had a girlfriend. It's not that I'm not looking. It's I work a lot to help my father, mother, sister and brother. I also work the third shift so any chance of trying to get a real social life is gone out the window. It's been fine the last 3 years. It's just the gap of days where I'm sad just keeps getting closer and closer. I have been getting those dark depressing thought more recently. Self-harm has crossed my mind multiple times, I usually brush them off but they been sounding tempting recently. Suicide has been coming up more now, but I won't act upon it. It would be devastating for my family if I did that. All my problems are fixable ,I know they are, it's just I can't seem to find a answer. I could ask for help but it's something I need to do myself, anything else would be a crutch, a temporary fix. I feel like Booker(Bioshock), stuck in a endless loop. This is a rant, I'm not asking for advice. You guys just give me simple answers when the problem is more complex then that. If you want to help, just talk to me. That's seems the only thing to keep my mind from wondering.