Moulin Rouge sucks and I hate it! (Spoilers)

[Corran Orreaux]

Moulin Rouge is honestly the most shallow piece of emotional trite I've ever had the displeasure to sit through. For the sake of my sanity I'll go though what it did well, that'll go a lot faster than the bad.

The singing was for the most part done really well, Nicole Kidman as Satine was easily the best singer/actress in the film. While the character she played as is about as developed and interesting as store-brand cola.

How the movie blends certain songs within each other and one bleeds into the other making an interesting mix of genres dancing together in glorious awesomeness in the form of the Elephant Love Medley or the [/color]El Tango De Roxanne[/size][/url] was fantastic! 

Obi-wan as the male lead, Christian, was okay; at points such as Spectacular Spectacular he was really great... but at others such as most of the movie, he straddled the line between good and bad.


Onto what I hated about the film.... EVERYTHING ELSE! The movie in the first fifteen to twenty minutes had severe ADD as it painfully cycled between like four songs within a couple seconds. Remember when I said that worked for ELM or El Tango? It really didn't here!
I honestly had to take breaks in the middle of that hell because the movie was literally giving me headaches.

The way the film treats love is a seven year old's view of what love is, the two leads have no chemistry so the filmmakers just make them spout the word love every five seconds then sing a song about it.

Kissing and hugs, kinds words about how pretty the other person is and nothing else. They don't sit down and just talk, it's just sing and **censor**, sing and **censor**.

On a side note, why is it that every single person in PARIS FRANCE has anything but a French accent!?
It's worse then the 2012 film adaptation of Les Miserables; the movie where the only person with a French accent is an English actor while everyone else is American doing English accents.   


The film attempts some development/drama near the end as Obi-wan becomes jealous that Santine is spending so much time with the duke and the fact that she must sleep with him so he’ll give her the resources to become a famous star… even though she’s the most famous singer/prostitute in the Moulin Rouge, the biggest bordello/theatre in Paris.

The Problem is this happens far too late, it feels rushed, and our heroes are as interesting as a bowl of Canada Dry.

The duke than tells Satine that he’ll kill Obi-wan if he shows up at the big ending show. So instead of Satine telling Obi that his life is in danger, or saying that the duke will kill her if he shows up, she just breaks up with him. Obi gets drunk and hummlitates Satine at the end of the play, she sings a love song, they get together and than Satine dies of the consumption.

Duke also fails at killing Obi-wan so he sulks away in defeat, the movie conveniently forgets that he still has the deed to the Moulin Rouge and can tear it down if he so wished.