dating advice.

[Drakeyboy]

So I'm looking to hook up with someone but every time I try it's either the girl already has a boyfriend or they play for the other team. I have tried online dating but no one ever answers my first message. Does anyone have some words of wisdom to say or even can relate to my scenario? Anything would be greatly appreciated.

[George]

Don't actively seek, just meet people who are interested in what you are. That sounds counter-intuitive in a way, but someone who's interested in the same things as you will likely also get along with you. If pretend to be someone else to find a mate, you're just putting both of you in a bad situation.

[HollowOfHaze]

I agree with George. It would be in your best interest to just go about your life without actively pursuing someone to be your girlfriend.

[Drakeyboy]

But i have to actively seek i live out in the middle of nowhere and i'm not a very social person so if i do ever meet anyone that could possibly be a potential mate i have to ask because there isn't going to be another time. Being shy is pretty counter intuitive to what i want though.

[Nrein]

As someone who lives out in th middle of nowhere, where the only options were self romance or the ugly girl in class; you have to passively search and actively achieve.

But that I mean, you have to just not be looking, but the moment you think you've found someone, who appears to have a genuine connection with you after a certain amount of time, jump on it. Don't be too aggressive about it, but just try and take it further.


I wouldn't be entering my third year of being with my mate, if I hadn't been patient enough to stumble upon him and then Yolo it to see if it could work.

[Drakeyboy]

I should also mention that I'm out of school. Thanks for the tip though.

[anoni]

I am not straight, therefore I can't give good opinions on how to pick up girls, however I have talked to people who are successful at picking up girls and are straight and they say something that, doesn't make sense to me and probably won't make sense to many people on this site in particular but... apparently works.

  Basically, this is for hooking up, not for full-fledge relationships. The general concept is you need to be masculine, stereotypically masculine, you need to seem manly. You can't be the good guy who talks about emotions and stuff, you can't be the guy complaining about the "friendzone" and being the shoulder to cry on and stuff, you have to be the guy who sort of "doesn't really care" about the girl, but is handsome and interesting and what-not. Basically, people often complain that douchebags always get the girl, but the truth is in these scenarios, the girl is attracted to the douchebag, so if you want the girl that's the kind of person you have to be.

  You have to be handsome, working out, getting muscle, looking fit, all things that are possible and things that you can do.
  You have to be masculine
  You have to be impressive.

  This is for normal girls, like picking up normal girls and stuff in the club and what-not, for online girls or girls in niche subcultures like the furry fandom, or brony fandom or something, being more in touch with your feelings is much more of a positive. And this won't work if you're looking for a long-lasting relationship.

[Drakeyboy]

Yeah i don't want that. All my friends are telling me the same thing and i keep telling them the same thing.

[Halei-Helai]

It would probably be better if you sought out girl friends before trying to get a girlfriend. Either they will be great for networking and could make you aware of somebody available and possibly interested, or you might actually develop a romantic relationship with one of them. This works from personal experience. If you can't make friends with a girl in general then you will have a hard time getting into a relationship with one.

How have you tried approaching people before, if I may ask?

[Drakeyboy]

Hmm... Never thought of that. Thanks for that tip.