"Let's talk about Sadness..." - A poem/conversation piece

[Dr. Alka Wolf]

You know... I'm a lucky 15 year old... I've got a mother and father who love and support me... I go to a high-end private school... I have my own mac, a PS4, a Wii U and an iPhone... I'm fed well, and have access to clean water...


And yet... Sadness is an emotion which I'm surrounded by everyday...
The retched emotion ripping everlasting strips every second...
I'm a 15 year old, bisexual, furry male, with a female preference...
And yet. Despite being colourful, subject to no black and white,
I am ridiculed with a might,
All throughout every god damn night,
And I can never seem to see a light....

Let's talk about Sadness...
"You want to know, what sadness is?"
Sadness is knowing your only true friend,
is someone you can only see through a screen...
Sadness is no one understanding you,
and being left to carry yourself on weak shoulders,
as you trudge on, and you trudge on, and you fight
to take flight but alas...
You fall...


Let's talk about sadness....
When I was 9... my parents got divorced...
When I was 10, I was an ignorant little shit,
When I was 11, I was failing to meet expectations I never set,
When I was 12. I swapped schools... This "fancy shmancy" all boys school.
When I was 12. I wanted to kill myself. I wanted my mum to let me back into her home,
I wanted to get more than a passing grade, while people pass notes about me...
I wanted to NOT go to school... I wanted to be in a place in which people did care about me...
When I was 12... I was depressed...


They tell me "You don't know what Sadness is."...
I know what it's like to start conversations cause no one else will...
I know what it's like to have a boyfriend who says he loves you
and 2 other guys who you couldn't hope to be...
Despite being the original,
Despite pouring your heart out so much, you feel light headed from lack of bloodflow,
Despite spending sleepless nights, sick, worried for his safety,
He's still bending over, and taking it....
Two guys... Two guys who only had to, be there at the right time,
Put on a fursuit and... smile...
Something I just couldn't do after he dumped me...


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A little ode to my inner demons, who haunt me every night. A little ode to the fake smile I have to put on sometimes. A little ode to all those who can relate to anything within the poorly written poem above. Now... Let's talk about Sadness guys... I've spoken my thoughts. Now it's your turn.

[Grovygrunge]

I can actually relate to this pretty well. When I was around that age I had a period of just hating myself which lasted for quite a while. Thankfully not quite like that anymore. Just slip into little bouts of not liking myself when I get in bad moods. I also adopted a mask of indifference, trying to hide how I felt about stuff from friends and family. I did not know a thing about dealing with my problems back then.

[vulpes inculta]

That's actually a pretty touching poem, and not that terribly written either, I don't really deal with depression like that. It usually just turns into aggression after a while, and then I go Chop wood or wander out into the woods and shoot guns, and then I'm all better until the next disaster hits my life... Tell me, Alka...do you play an instrument at all? sing, anything like that? I find that music can be a good channel for negativity, sometimes.

[Dr. Alka Wolf]

Play an instrument: Don't have the time or patience to learn


Sing: I wish, but the same reason as above


Listen to music: All. The. Time. I listen to a lot of music, especially when I'm going through issues.

[vulpes inculta]

If you don't mind my prying, why don't you ever have time?

[Dr. Alka Wolf]

Can't be bothered making it for the most part. That, and I value my studies a lot so I spend a lot of time doing homework, assignments, and of course, studying. Any leftover time is spent doing things I find relaxing like: RP, playing games with my friends and listening to music.


If you want to ask any more questions about me, take it to private chat/messages. Don't want to clutter this space to much with plethoras of questions