I think this is what I'm going to use as the preview for book two, and I wanted your opinions! So please do post, and let me know your thoughts - does it draw you in? Is it too slow? Not a good preview? You're all my favorite fursons, and your opinion matters to me!
/Quadrant Three/
/The Trials of Jakol Intarn/
Jade stepped up beside Ames, looking down at his drawn pole arm and putting a hand to the dagger at her belt. “What do you mean it doesn’t sound right? What is it supposed to sound like?” “Not that.” Jack had stopped messing around, though he still sat on Kayara, both of them gone still, looking around for the source of the voice.” “Not helpful.” Jade shot back, but Aria put a hand on her arm. She looked down at the hand, back up at her, and shrugged her touch away. “You three have more experience with this than we do. A little explanation so we know what we’re dealing with here, please?” “All we know is that they’re some kind of mechanical entity in nature. That’s how Kayara found the startup in,” Aria trailed off, looking for a word for the device, “that clipboard.” She finished lamely, stepping up to the edge of the enormous ledge. Her eyes trailed up the trunk of the nearest tree that sprouted nearby. There, in the branches, she saw a little black box with mesh over it, and pointed up so everyone could see it. A little lens embedded in the trunk moved down slightly toward her, the sides twisting in a circle. “Okay, so we’re not dealing with something we can kill.” Jade sounded remarkably disappointed, but Aria shook her head at her, motioning Kaalin over. The large black man came over, the teeth in his hair clacking in the wind that blew over the edge of the city tree’s summit. “Not necessarily. The Guardian of this Quadrant,” she opened her notebook, flipping the pages. “Jakol Intarn. If he’s anything like Sino Mein in Winter, he’s definitely beatable.” She glanced askance at Jade, then back to her book. “By physical means.” She added, as if it needed to be said. “I’m sure he has a trick we have to figure out. He won’t come until after the Trials, though.” Aria pointed up at the camera for Kaalin, then tapped the side of her eye. Kaa looked up at the camera, his own implanted eye that Kayara had installed making the same motion as the lens had when it zoomed in on Aria. “Trials. The Greatest Trials on Earth?” Jade raised an eyebrow. “I suppose so. If that’s what these ones are called, which I have to assume they are, having no other basis for comparison. The last one had a series of tests - logic puzzles, really.” “That doesn’t sound so hard. We have you.” Aria received a gentle punch to her shoulder with as much dignity as she could. “Not from basic description, no.” Ames gently pulled both the women back from the edge, his eyes darting around, alert. “If we failed them, it was instant death.” “Oh, well. Fantastic.” Jade threw her arms up in aggravation. “Sounds like fun. So what are these ones?” “That, I’m not sure.” Aria was looking through her book for any hint, anything Mother Gea might have said that would tip them off. “Gea didn’t tell us that, so I don’t know. But the last one was very logical. Scientific. This, this is just -“ “Over nine thousand!” The mechanical voice came back on over the speakers, startling Aria into nearly dropping her book. Kayara had shoved Jack off of her and was sitting in a cross legged position, swiping and tapping away at the device in her lap. Jade’s dagger was in her hand, her head snapping around the entire clearing, looking for an enemy. Something, anything physical she could attack. “Gods damn it, what the hell does that mean?” She yelled into the surrounding trees - trees that were eerily silent, devoid of any bird or insect noises. “Gotut.” Kay spoke from the ground, slapping a finger on something on her screen. A loud buzzing immediately emanated from the speakers, followed by a whooping sound that none of them recognized. “Cheating? On a quiz show?” The mechanical voice admonished them. “That’s sort of like plagiarizing a comic strip. One point lost.” The ground started rumbling and shaking, the dirt under their feet draining swiftly away. All of them simultaneously looked at their feet as they lost their balance with the shifting ground. “Kayara, whatever you’re doing, stop, damn it!” Jade snagged the tablet from her and threw it into the jungle, to the protests of the little girl. Jade grabbed the front of her shirt, lifting and yelling at her. “You’re just making it worse!” The roots of the trees, now exposed, began creaking. The sounds of an entire forest falling began at the middle of the arena, loud thuds coming closer and closer. Kay stopped struggling, looking behind her at the falling tree trunks, following their decent pattern all the way to the edge. To the edge where Aria stood. Beneath the tree. She pointed frantically toward Aria. “Ahdra! Ahdra!” She was practically screaming, clawing at Jade’s hand. Jade turned her head to look where Kay was pointing, still clenching Kay’s shirt in her fist. She felt the weight lessen in her hand, and turned her head back around to see the vacated fabric of the shirt dangling from her fist. Half naked, Kay ran as fast as she could, but it was too late. The tree next to Aria creaked in protest against its bent roots, the ground now nearly completely drained away, leaving smooth metal glinting beneath the roots and remaining dirt. It fell down hard, with the weight of multiple other trees toppling it. Aria tried to get out of the way, but a large branch slammed into her, throwing her forward. Sliding on bared metal, unable to get enough purchase to stop herself, Aria went screaming over the edge of the three thousand floor city tree.
Topic: A Special Preview (Read 856 times)