Random rant about love

[Ræfóa Aldrnari]

First off, I'm not doing this for attention-seeking or anything. I just felt like writing this down/telling it to someone, so I decided to just make a rant about it.

So, I'm single. No big deal, right? Well, I used to not think so. I used to get really sad, and feel physical pain in my heart, whenever I saw people I know being in relationships, or developing them. I really hated the feeling, and I still do so. The thing is... the feeling is just sorta fading away. I usually don't really feel anything about it now. And I mean nothing! I'm beginning to lose my feeling of love, or at least the one I'm used to. I can't live anyone. I mean, of course, I love my friends, my family, God, oreos, that sort of love. I just can't feel romantic love anymore. I kinda feel it at times, but not that much. It makes me think, that I was put in the wrong place. The only relationships I've ever had has been long distance, meaning they lived in America. There's just not anybody here that is interesting. Every girl here is just not... well, weird or funny enough. They're either the usual "young people nowadays", that goes out drinking, partying, having sex, and all that (yes, at my age), or they're just so... boring. Like they never do anything funny. I know, I sound really generalising, but that's just Denmark for you, right there!
I don't belong here. I've been put in a place with way too normal people. I can't love anyone here, and no one can love someone like me. I love my country, and I'm proud to be a dane, but I really feel like I don't belong here.

[Armalite_]

Take my words with a grain of salt, but...


You don't know what love is. You've never experienced it although longed for it and may have an understanding of what it is but you haven't truly felt it before. The feeling you felt when seeing other couples was nothing but envy, which you are now losing as a result of giving up hope of finding the right person for you. You can't feel romantic love with someone online. You cant feel romantic love by looking at other people in love. You have to feel love through being with someone not only physically, but emotionally, and even spiritually. It is the warmth of the person beside you in bed at night, the hair raising on your skin when they touch you, the fear and anger you feel when you fight them, the hugs and kisses when you make up, the feeling you get when they look you in the eye and tell you how much they care about you and enjoy everything you do with them. It is not something you have to expect, its something that just happens, sometimes when and where you least expect it.

I wouldn't give up hope so plainly. You havent met this person yet, but they're out there somewhere within reach. To be honest being 16 (sorry I creeped your profile) is such a young age for girls to be doing that stuff so I don't blame you for not wanting to associate with them. I knew a lot of girls who were like that when I was 16 and now they're single mothers with drug problems. Find yourself a decent girl who would be proud to take you home to meet her parents. I didn't meet my weird loving lame pun joking gf until I was left heartbroken from my ex who turns out wasnt compatible with me at all, but I loved her, and learned from it after 4 years of being together. Linkin Park was right. In the end, it doesn't even matter. I felt like every couple I saw on the street was living a lie, that love was just an excuse to be with someone, that it could be felt just as easily as it was thrown away. I didn't trust girls with anything, not even my feelings. It took a long time for my current gf to go from an aquaintence to a friend, to a friend with benefits, to a gf (perhaps even fiancee one day. Still, I know I don't feel the same as I did with my first love. I feel like my ex took something from me I'll never get back (aside from my sweater -__-) and nothing can ever get it back. 

What matters is the time you and your favorite person (when you find them) spend together. You don't have to leave your country to find love, just be social, outgoing, and mindful that sometimes the girl you're looking for could be one of your friend's sisters, cousins, or mutual friends.

Why can't someone love someone like you? I believe a lot of people love you, but it sounds more like you don't love yourself to say that. Change the equation. Apply yourself. You will find what you're looking for in time if you are proactive about it. Don't get so negative over any insecurities, you might surprise yourself with who you meet one day.