As much as I hate to say this, I'm actually really weak, mentally. Like, just, I have a hard time dealing with people, and I overthink things, and I take the slightest things to heart
With that in mind, I have this crush. (Yup, I kinda liked the person at first sight. There goes being an Ace.) It's this person in college and we were both in the same art class. At first I tried my best to put the person out of my mind, because I thought the person was out of my league. (I'm a nerd, the person didn't seem like one.) And one class I was talking to a classmate about this online game, and the person came over knowing and loving the said online game. So the next week, I worked up the courage to ask the person to party up with me, we partied up and played a couple games. We did that twice, maybe three times, over the next couple weeks. (I tried to keep my distance, I wasn't as good as the person and I didn't know the person very well so I thought some distance was a good thing
) A couple days ago I met the person and we spent time joking around and playing a board game at the college (We met coincidentally) (Just in case the person is on here, I'm going to avoid details like what board game and stuff). So one day, I was flat out ignored in the game. I knew the person was online and not AFK, I could see that the person was playing a match. And I'm just kinda down about that. Like, being told that I don't want to be played with cause I suck, I'll take it. I'll be honest, for a person that has so called 'Mastered' and spent tons of time playing a character in a game, I suck. Being told not today, or even being told I hate you get lost, is alright. But being ignored, kinda just messed me up worse. And I can almost swear the person had to notice the message. If a person is messaged in the game, it comes up in the bottom left chat. (It's a moba game, so imagine a PM in the Moba's chat window during a match.) I sent the message a second time, maybe something happened to the original. Ignored. And it just really triggers me, like wow, the person really is just ignoring me. I'm sure I didn't do anything wrong. (I'm thinking back, nothing I said could be considered insulting. Even my jokes were rather somewhere along the lines of a sarcastic, 'I know I can turn this around' during a board game while I'm SEVERELY BEHIND in the game and my crush only needs to make one more move.)
It's been a while since I actually liked a person, so in a way it just kinda bugs me, and it's a little frustrating. I'm weighing things around, and thinking maybe I'm really just bugging the person and the person just acts nice to not make me feel bad or something. But I also asked the person that before and the person said I didn't bug her. So in a way I guess it's like, I had a sense of security and then right after the person just slapped me, telling me naa man. Part of me says, See Ace is where I belong. And another part of me hopes that the next day the person sends me a message and a reason. Even a stupid reason. Or instead, wait till my next class to see how the person reacts. Perhaps the person'll come try to talk to me, or perhaps the person'll just act like it didn't happen. I don't have enough of an understanding of the person to be able to predict what the person's going to do. Something tells me it's closer to being ignored or just leaving me be.
Topic: This Person (More rant than it is about wanting advice.) (Read 501 times)