Hey all
I had to write a draft for a short story for my creative writing AS.
Its slap dash, it's crude, it's not good, and it's poorly developed, but it took almost no time.
Please give me feedback so I can improve. Like I said, this is only a plan made to fit in the 1500 limit.
I hope you like it anyway cx
“... Then real is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain.” Such were the wise words that were proclaimed by Morpheus of the Matrix franchise. I’ve never seen it before- I don’t take interest in films made over a century ago- but some guy behind me is proudly boasting his ancient movie knowledge to a pathetically small, yet awestruck audience. The warden is also obviously fed up with continuously winding the projector's turbine-he was here to beat up some lawbreakers, not step in for the project managers.
“And what is the purpose of this?” I ask, subtlety sticking my feet up on the seat before me, only to have them knocked down by the book that had suddenly materialised in the warden’s hand.
“You know perfectly well. Remind me of you are?” Leering over me, I can see that he’s a proper lump of a man- at first glance, he appears to have a strong build, but up this close, you can define half his body as ‘muscle’ and the other half as‘unknown, maybe fat, maybe tumours, I don’t know’. I mockingly twist my hand elegantly in the air, before bowing forwards on my chair.
“Flynt Gosdan, at your service.” I could make out a definite “S’fake” behind me, but stuff like that doesn’t bother me. Although it’s true.
“The guy with the Grade 5? Who ripped the legs off his girlfr-”
“Boyfriend’s.”
“... Legs, then broke their neck, paralysing them, and only just got away with bodily harm with the intention of murder, because they miraculously survived?”
“I’m your man.” A wide smirk is plastered across my face, and I scratch the small scar that ran over my lips.
“Yeah mate, no one likes you.” Even though I try and keep my proud facade up, the corners of my mouth begin to droop, and the conversation ends on an awkward silence except for one other prisoner coughing relentlessly. This is ended when someone punches him in the face, and the room’s suddenly full of guards, dragging us away before someone really does end up dead.
Looking through the window and playing with an imaginary yo-yo are my two favourite hobbies. Real yo-yos aren’t allowed in the cells, as you could garrotte yourself if you were desperate, and the heavily barred windows were the only source of natural light in the entire building. See, electricity ran out 7 years ago. Fossil fuels were completely parched from the earth, and not enough renewable resources were created in time; now power is just a fairy-tale, a make-believe. Then the Extractor was invented. The committee attempted to be deep and confusing messages about it, but no information can be absorbed by our dead brains now. Basically, some guy came up with the idea of making a reverse electric chair in this very building (seeing as shelter now had to be shared). It extracts the electrical signals from your body, and can be used in appliances like the electricity from long ago. Now, it’s still in the early stages of development, so anyone who is hooked up to it is instantly killed. I have no idea why the staff felt the need to not keep this a secret; perhaps so it was just that they can relish in their own glory, of having the key to the future in these very walls.
The apprentice outside my door gives me the evil eye as I bob my hand up and down aimlessly, cheering every time I spin it around a bit, then congratulating myself on the completion of a new trick. I’ve never seen her here before, and the way her eyes are constantly boring into my back is slightly unnerving, yet I do nothing just to annoy her. People her age are always coming here, believing that they will be able to gain access to the tiny amount of electricity we have in this place, even though it is manually created by people physically turning huge turbines. She was obviously disappointed, as she sighed angrily every two seconds, and the amplitude of her chewing got louder and louder as she put all her pain and hatred into biting down on the gum in her mouth. I don’t want to know how long she’s had that for- the gum factories all died when the power went, so that would mean…
“Can you freaking stop that?” She screeches, finally ticking and kicking the door viciously, much to my enjoyment. She stares at me through the bars, like a demented vulture. I continue to bob my hand around, now pretending to do ‘walk the dog’.
“What do you mean sweetie?” I innocently blink at her, which turns her even more savage.
“That… That whatever you’re doing with your hand!” Acting docile as I could, I raise my palm to my face and inspect it thoroughly, helplessly grinning to myself.
“My hand appears to be perfectly fine; I find no fault in it. She’s very rude, that girl, isn’t she?” My hand nods sadly, now a llama, and I’m about to continue, but she’s already half way down the corridor, screaming “madman” and “freak”, and “get someone else to look after this weirdo, ‘cos I ain’t dealing with him” back at me. Well, that ended just nicely.
I never expected to see her here again. In normal circumstances, she would’ve been kicked out instantly. I have heard on numerous occasions that the staff have ‘no time for timewasters’, so I have no idea what could’ve possibly made them change their minds. All I know is that she’s now in a furious sulking mood, and pushing food underneath the door, as if I’m some sort of animal. Scooting over, I pick up the plate and look it over cautiously. One sausage, 10 beans and a piece of hair. Lovely. All the food here we have is tinned, and if you don’t like it, then the only other option was grass- there was plenty of it outside, and you can even go pick it yourself.
“What’s the matter, sunshine?” The words roll of my tongue sadly, and I put on a fake pout as she continues to scowl at me.
“Your face.” was all she said, drawing her eyes away and huffing loudly. Typical. I finish of my meal, trying to chew it as loudly as I can, but she doesn’t seem to be up to competition today.
And then everything is green.
Or yellow?
Or purple?
A horse running through a field.
Mark’s face grinning at mine, and then suddenly grimacing in agony.
White
White
White
Blue
Then everything.
Waking up somewhere I’ve never been before. Unable to move. Trying to ignore how cliché this all seems. I trace back to my memories to where I last finished off- eating my dinner, yes. Felt like only a few moments ago, but also like an eternity away at the same time.
“Wait a minute” I say out loud to myself, frowning.
Alright.
I feel sick, that’s for sure.
And what is happening?.
I’m hella confused.
Stupid girl had a grudge.
Put you here.
Geez.
I really should keep my mouth shut in the future.
God, I can’t think straight. I give up. I’m not entertaining this anymore.
“I’m not supposed to be here.” Oh, there she is, still chewing. That’s all she ever does, being the stupid cow she is. Before I can say anything, she cuts in, repeating herself, her face beaming triumphantly.
“I’m not supposed to be here. They said I’m to stop doing work experience here and find somewhere else, because I’m not responsible enough-”
“Work experience is still a thing?” I gasp, but her only response is a growl.
“I snuck back and put something from the medicine cabinet in your food. I don’t know what it was, but it didn’t kill you, so that’s good. I’m surprised you didn’t realise that your dinner came five hours early. Being here must’ve really messed up your mind.”
Ha, of course I knew. Who wouldn’t?
Kill yourself Flynt.
“Why?” Is all I can ask. I was only pretending to use a yo-yo. If she was really that annoyed, she could’ve just sneaked one in for me, and I could flatter her with my amazing yo-yoness. But she looks at me curiously, almost expectantly. We glower at each other for a few moments, her look as mad as ever, me cocking my head to the side, not having a clue about what she wants me to do. And then, she finally breaks the silence.
“I haven’t checked my Insta in 6 years. No one likes you. I’m sure one prisoner won’t be missed. After all, you pulled someone’s legs off for no reason. All sparks will burn out in the end, Flynt. And yours is just about to.”
Shoot. No, no no no.
All sparks will burn out-
She hauls the lever, her face a mixture of emotions, and everything is extinguished before my eyes.
Topic: Extraction- A short story written in less than 2 hours (Read 1498 times)