>I DM for a small group and I haven't been DMing for very long but I would like to get some feedback on the last words for a long standing NPC that I intend to kill off.
>For context in this game the players ultimately fight beings known as anomalies. They are creatures that by a great power (that I haven't thought of yet) have incarnated in the current world. They don't follow the same rules as other creatures amd therefore are known for performing amazing feats. The NPC in question known as Paladin General Christoff is the only humaniod anomaly encountered.
>Anomalies cannot be effected by magick whether hostile or friendly as it directly conflicts with the magick that brought them into the world however they can use abilities that mimic some effects of magick.
>Anomalies also cannot use potions as their incarnated bodies function differently from normal creatures.
Paladin General Christoff dialogue:
(There is some initial dialogue prior to his death)
*If the player attempts to heal PGC*
"Do not waste your mysticism on me, it will not work regardless" "Come here, let me speak my peace*
"How it must feel to see a great tower fall, like ice to skin and nail to heart"
"I would tell you my story, if I have the time, perhaps I could borrow your ear one last time"?
*if player chooses to hear it*
"To the North, in the hamlett of Labbiel there lived a boy of the same name, my other flesh. His father a carpenter, his mother tended chores. Perhaps he was born cursed or perhaps I was born blessed, this boy was born frail, sickly, without cure. He was created with bones like twigs, skin like silk. His heart strained to beat and his breathe stung like thorns. Bed ridden he layed, never seeing the outside world, relegated to his home, his body a prison. But it was on one morning, when the summer flowers wilted that he did not awake, his skin turned ash and his heart made not a sound. It was then his mother had found him. She pleaded and bargained begging the gods to bring her child back. But his light had left and behind him a void. A void I would come to fill. Maybe it was grand design and maybe a wish but that boys cheeks turned red and his heart began to pound with a force that could shake the ascended realms. But, what came back was not her son, for you see in all of her pleading and weeping she did not think of whom the boy was, but rather who she wanted him to be. She thought only of her dreams for him. Of her dreams with him in her life. My eyes opened to see this women openly weeping into her hands, and so I put mine to her shoulder. Her drenched eyes turned radiant to behold a miracle. In the coming years I would become all that she had wanted me to be, but I do wonder where that boy went and where I will go once the magick that brought me here has faded. So now you know, and I can pass with hope in my heart. She has long passed, perhaps I will see them both on the other side. But wherever I may go, I hope it entails a long rest".
*NPC passes*
>If I could get some critique that would be helpful. Personally I think it can be shorter but I'm a sucker for long, drawn out death scenes. What do you guys think?
Topic: Some D&D character dialogue critique (Read 8326 times)