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Author Topic: Syra's Past  (Read 3221 times)

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Offline Renaud Magicpaw

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Re: Syra's Past
« Reply #30 on: January 14, 2009, 05:03:30 PM »
very good Syra
Read the left column then the right column

Times change, and promises are broken        |   Life is short
Life goes on and yet it stops                        |   Yet the soul is eternal
I have much to give so have this token         |   Your words a port
And get some chocolate from the shops        |   For feelings, internal

Life is short so do not wait                          |   Go seek the love
Take love by the horns                               |   Who's soul is yours
Loyalty is a wonderful trait                           |   They are your dove
But be wary of a rose's thorns                     |   Who's love is lores

Things that live                               |   Join now in the search
Must always die                               |   And find your love
Yet do not dive                              |   They'll be your perch
Into this lie                                     |   As you are their dove

Offline Somebody

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Re: Syra's Past
« Reply #31 on: January 14, 2009, 10:28:13 PM »
More great additions to your story hun. It's a very good read, I kinda enjoy the childish innocense of it thus far. Shame we all know the depressing parts are to come

Offline Sareen

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Re: Syra's Past
« Reply #32 on: January 15, 2009, 06:49:28 PM »
Okay, for those reading this, I have updated another two badly written paragraphs =P
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Offline flames

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Re: Syra's Past
« Reply #33 on: January 15, 2009, 08:11:17 PM »
(Badly written? You really should be more proud of your work :P )
Nice two chapters. Whilst the pair of children are just going through their normal routines, the innocence, energy and cuteness of youth is clearly shown in this rather warm scene.
The farewell was premature. My definite stay is not definite. The constants are variable. The greeting was too late.

Offline Dr. Strange

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Re: Syra's Past
« Reply #34 on: January 15, 2009, 11:28:30 PM »
Really adorable. And I highly doubt it is badly written, Sy.
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Offline Sareen

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Re: Syra's Past
« Reply #35 on: January 20, 2009, 08:56:52 PM »
Two more paragraphs added
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Offline flames

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Re: Syra's Past
« Reply #36 on: January 21, 2009, 07:08:57 AM »
Awwwwww, that's adorable  :-[
Very nice addition Syra, it cheered me up.
The farewell was premature. My definite stay is not definite. The constants are variable. The greeting was too late.

Offline Sareen

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Re: Syra's Past
« Reply #37 on: January 25, 2009, 10:27:30 PM »
Im Moving House = More the 2 paragraphs update when i return =P
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Offline Devault

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Re: Syra's Past
« Reply #38 on: January 25, 2009, 11:39:25 PM »
Hm, pretty good so far... I just can't but get the foreboding feeling that something's gonna happen though ^^;

And I'll be waiting to read those paragraphs!
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Offline Sareen

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Re: Syra's Past
« Reply #39 on: February 03, 2009, 08:40:54 AM »
Woot!
When i Get The Internet back On Monday
I Have 5 paragraphs to add
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Offline Sareen

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Re: Syra's Past
« Reply #40 on: February 12, 2009, 05:17:28 PM »
and here we go.
As promised. the next 5 paragraphs are up.
and YES i double posted to get your attention,
Thats Right Yours *points* Clever Huh? =P
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Offline flames

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Re: Syra's Past
« Reply #41 on: February 12, 2009, 05:25:58 PM »
*Tries hardest not to cry and fails* That was so grim and depressing...poor Syra...the sweetness and innocence of the story so far only makes this addition all the more heartbreaking...truly brilliant job...:sniffle:
The farewell was premature. My definite stay is not definite. The constants are variable. The greeting was too late.

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Re: Syra's Past
« Reply #42 on: February 12, 2009, 10:44:37 PM »
Hm, that was a good read! You give enough foreshadowing to keep us wondering, but not so much that we know everything ^^
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Offline Somebody

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Re: Syra's Past
« Reply #43 on: February 13, 2009, 04:40:06 AM »
Very nice love, you have done a excellent job of developing your sona's story. Its a very good and interesting read

 

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