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Author Topic: After It's All Said and Done  (Read 1076 times)

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Offline Kindran Ornitier

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After It's All Said and Done
« on: December 07, 2009, 02:43:27 AM »
I can't remember if I posted this one already.... In fact I almost forgot I wrote it haha. Here goes

After It's All Said and Done
After it's all said and done
What is the purpose of what we have?
You can't take it with you
Or so they say
Why kill yourself for material goods
And not go out to play?

After its all said and done
Our deeds, not accomplisments, are number one
When it all goes away
What legacy will stay?
Why waste yourself on trophies
And not enjoy the roses of May?

After it's all said and done
Many things have come and gone
Only through salvation
Of your own religion
May you then rejoin
Those you care for the most

And from then on
In the next life
Enjoy each others company
After it's all said and done
I didn't really plan to have a rhyme scheme it just kinda happened haha. Comments and critique are welcome.
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Re: After It's All Said and Done
« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2009, 01:06:33 AM »
I like it. It stumbled a bit on the longer lines or those that didnt rhyme in a poem that felt like it should. Like it's stuck between rhyming and not rhyming.
but when it works, it really flows and I enjoyed the feeling and the sentiment.

good job.
"Parents always think kids are wasting their youth, and always have done [so] down through the millennia," says Tom Forsyth of RAD Game Tools. "'That Ug, always holding things. His front paws will develop in funny ways. Why can't he walk on all fours like normal proto-hominids?' And so, whatever the kids spend the most time doing, that's always what parents think is a waste of time, and what is corrupting their lives. It doesn't matter what that is. If all they did was homework, parents would be worrying that their kids aren't becoming well-rounded people. And, in fact, parents do this - enrolling math nerds in karate classes and the like. There is no way to win - parental paranoia ensures that kids are always doing the wrong thing."


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