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Author Topic: The Kin Chronicles: The Black Kat  (Read 15658 times)

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Offline KittKat chunky~

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Re: The Kin Chronicles: The Black Kat
« Reply #15 on: December 10, 2009, 02:06:39 PM »
im loving all of it already  :3
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Re: The Kin Chronicles: The Black Kat
« Reply #16 on: December 11, 2009, 08:40:58 PM »
*chases tails, yipping excitedly* I love the story so far! I feel so lucky to be a part of this!
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Re: The Kin Chronicles: The Black Kat
« Reply #17 on: December 12, 2009, 03:22:06 AM »
Yeah great job so far Shinzuu, it's truly book quality ;)
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Offline Shinzuu Katame: Her Tolfy

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Re: The Kin Chronicles: The Black Kat
« Reply #18 on: December 16, 2009, 10:55:09 PM »
Chapter 2: Friends and Teamwork

The musty morning air irritated Epoch's nose and he rubbed it furiously. He hated being outside during late-summer mornings, another reason he never liked going out on jobs with his friends. He preferred the comforts of life in the city, even if it meant going into hiding. He enjoyed the lavish hotels, the fancy feasts and meals with classy women. Though they left after eating, it gave him a small sense of security. Now look at him, sleeping in the dirt, eating nothing but salted ham and bread. These last two days have been taxing on his legs. Nothing but steep hikes and rocky grounds from sunrise to high moon, he had blisters growing on his blister.

Suddenly, four hands started shaking him violently. Disgruntled with the disturbance before sunrise, he flung the hands off angrily. "What th-..." Before he could finish, those four hands clamped his muzzle shut and heard his friends shushing him. He gave them a look that said, "What's the deal?" Shinzuu released his muzzle and pointed towards the top of the mountain. There, no less than 100 meters away, a large, green-scaled dragon lay snoring. Epoch's eyes widened and his friends jumped in to clamp his muzzle shut again before he could scream.

Jack quietly whispered into his ear, "It landed about an hour ago. We have already drawn up a plan, but this is going to require you to keep your mouth shut. Can you do that?" Epoch nodded and they let go. "Good, now listen carefully..."

The dragon slumbered peacefully on a ledge just in front of a small cave at the top of the Aral Mountain peak, unaware of the three assassins closing in on it. Epoch snuck up under the beast, stopping under where the ledge protrudes from the mountainside, just two meters below. Jack snuck around and stood next to the dragon's neck and slowly pulled a katar out of his cloak, careful not to wake the dragon up. On the opposite side along the edge, Shinzuu knelt between its tail and belly, readying his katana for a thrust. Epoch placed his hands onto the ledge and concentrated. The ledge began to glow red. Just then, Shinzuu sensed an incoming knife aimed for him at a high speed.

Shinzuu quickly swiveled around and deflected it, the knife exploding into a plume of water upon contact. The dragon snapped its head up and roared angrily at the noise and discovering its uninvited guests. "Scatter!" The three ran headlong down the mountainside, dodging tail whips and sprays of acid from the dragon. They ran into a heavily forested area of the mountainside and hid among the trees. The dragon roared furiously and took flight, searching for its prey.

Out of breath, Epoch grabbed Shinzuu by the hem of his cloak, knocking the hood off his head. "What the heck was that!? We were supposed to eliminate that thing by taking out the ledge as a bomb and blowing all the scales of its belly away so you guys can cut it up. What on Gaia compelled you to wake it up!?" Shinzuu brushed off his hands. "Let go before you turn my cloak into a freaking bomb. I was attacked by a magic-infused knife. It's the Magi Sisters. They're here."

"You're darn right we are!" From within a nearby thicket, a wall of dirt shot out of the ground and opened up like doors, pushing aside the bramble. From its shadows, three colorfully cloaked figures emerged, blue, yellow and green, each with a color-matching sorcerer's cap. The one dressed in green stepped up to them. She was a red fox, her eyes were deep hazel and her face showed a look of confidence and dominance. She scrutinized them with her eyes. "A fat and clumsy bear who can turn objects into bombs, you must be that so-called magic prodigy, Epoch. Please, don't make me laugh. And you, rabbit. Tall and lanky with pale skin, pitch . black sleeper rings and looks like a zombie, you're blade-master Jack Rabbit. Telling by your party, I don't even need to guess who you are. Two meters tall, a wolf with silver tiger stripes, three on your muzzle shaped like claw marks, and a patch on your right eye. You're the famous Black Kat, Shinzuu Katame. You three are the most wanted bounties in all of Terra."

Shinzuu snarled and stepped up, glaring down at her with his prowess. "Sleezy, underhanded Magi Sisters. Three little amateur sorceresses who only scored one B-rank bounty on their because only because it had a heart attack when you surprised it. You scored six more B-rank bounties by killing other bounty hunters right before or after they made their kills and stole them. You demean others to make yourselves feel better because you live under daddy's shadow. You pretend to be high and mighty, your eyes as deep a hazel-green as your cloak and an all-around hussy, you're Nimali Anil. Blue-cloaked arctic fox, light blue eyes and always standing in the back, eying people, your Shasta. And you, an adopted yellow, striped cat, always timid and never looks anyone in the eyes, you're Aviana. Go back home to mommy, little kiddies. A-class bounties are far beyond your abilities."

Nimali puffed her cheeks and stomped her foot onto the ground, creating a small wave of the ground towards him. Epoch flung one of the rocks in his hand at the wave and exploded on contact, destroying the wave. Jack slapped Epoch upside the head, "You idiot!" Epoch clutched the back of his head, "What was that for!? I just backed him up, and..." From overhead, the dragon roared, having found its prey. Jack look at him angrily, "What's why. You gave the dragon our position. Move!" Nimali smiled and looked up towards the incoming dragon. "Okay, girls. Let's show them what we got." Aviana and Shasta walked up beside her.

Aviana closed her eyes and raised her hands above her head in a large, circular motion and created a wind barrier around them. The men watched from a few meters away. Jack shouted over the wind, "You can't defeat it with just magic! Not even most mages have the ability to pull that off!" Nimali and Shasta gave them a smirk. Shasta pulled out sixteen infused throwing knives, each with glowing, blue runes across the blades. The dragon, now almost on top of the, regurgitated another spray of acid. Nimali stomped the ground and brought up her arms in front of her, raising a wall of ground, which disintegrated almost as quickly as it was raised. The dragon flew in headlong, jowls gaping to consumer the Sisters. Aviana spread her arms and expanded the barrier.

With a huge bang, the dragon's head rebounded off the barrier. In a fit of rage, the dragon landed on its hind legs and started to pound hard on the barrier with its forward claws and head. Nimali stomped the ground again and moved her arms, hands and fingers like an orchestral conductor. Pillars rose from the ground and wrapped around the dragon's legs, torso and neck, exposing its belly to them. Aviana lowered the barrier and drew in her hands, creating a ball of highly compressed wind the size of her head. She then shot the ball towards the dragon's exposed underside and shattered some of the scales off. Shasta then threw all sixteen of the knives at the portions of its exposed flesh. The knives exploded into water as before after entering the dragon's body. The dragon screeched and fell limp onto the ground in front of them.

The girls cheered, "Yeah! We did it! Take that, you bumbling idi..." The dragon awoke and lunged at the Sisters, Jowls surrounding them. Before closing its jaws, an explosion hit the side of its face, knocking it over. Shinzuu and his friends ran in, each picking up one girl, and ran back for cover in the forest. Nimali, her head bobbing as she was being carried by Shinzuu, yelled out, "Why is that thing still alive!? I was sure we killed it! Those knives went straight into its chest and exploded, damaging its organs!" Jack, directly behind and almost face to face with her, replied calmly but scoldingly. "It's true that was through magic and blade. However, your blades were too shallow, even with your additional magic infusions. Plus, attacks to the chest and torso only temporarily disable it, never kills it, you need to sever the heart. Contrary to popular belief, the dragon has two hearts. Also, they're not located where human hearts are found."

Shinzuu, disgruntled with their ignorance and carrying her, yelled over his shoulder, "We would have taken care of it if certain idiots didn't wake the dragon up, trying to kill us. Now that it's awake, it's going to be near impossible get a clear aim and cut on it, not to mention we need to blow more scales off that thing." Jack interjected, "Well, not entirely, but we need the help of the Sisters. Listen up, Nimali. You help us out and you get a 33% cut, no more. If you don't like it, we'll leave you here for the dragon's lunch and wait for it to sleep again." Unwillingly, Nimali nodded in agreement, puffing up her cheeks again. Over the loud roar of the pursuing dragon behind them, Jack yelled out the plan to everyone.

Aviana stood alone on a large ledge at the end of the forest, trembling fiercely as the dragon rampaged out of the trees into the clearing, heading for her. She brought up the wind barrier again and, same as before, the dragon ravaged at it. However, this time, the dragon decided to jump on top of the barrier to break it. As its feet touched the ground, though, the dragon began to sink into it, cushioning the impact on the barrier. Aviana called forth a large gust to dry a path out from under the dragon and ran out. As its belly started sinking, Aviana signaled for Nimali and Shasta to stop the sludge under the dragon and sent a more powerful gust and dried the whole area, encasing almost half the dragon into the ground.

Epoch touched both hands on the bottom of the ledge and concentrated harder than before as the ledge was bigger. The portion of the ledge where the dragon laid lit up slowly to a bright red. Shinzuu and Jack jumped up on top of the dragon's back before the entire section blew up, sending them and the dragon into the air. The dragon roared in pain as its scales on it's entire underside were completely blown off, along with some of its flesh. With his legs clamped on the front-left leg, Shinzuu swung himself to its underside, drew his katana and drove it into the base of the leg he clung to. The dragon arched its neck and head back as its first heart was punctured. At that time, Jack hopped up and hooked his right arm around the arched neck while drawing his katar with his left. He drove it into the base of the dragon's neck as he swung over. The dragon screeched in agony as it breathed its last and died before it hit the ground. A large plume of dust raised upon impact, the surrounding party coughing from the cloud's thickness.

The four magic-users crowded around as the dust settled. Shinzuu and Jack emerged from under the dragon's wings, blood dripping from their blades and arms. Shasta clapped her hands together and sent a shock wave of water towards them, cleaning off the blood. Nimali waved them over. "Come on, let's get the bounty." They all walked together, laughing triumphantly. "By the way, Jack, that was a cool idea on trapping that dragon. I never thought of using my magic with Shasta's to turn the ground into sludge. That was..." Jack hushed her with a hand, a shocked look of realization on his face. He muttered, trying to keep his composure.

"Ground.. ground... the crops... fire. It was reported that numerous crops were burned." Epoch interrupted, "Yea, and they said the dragon was found to..." Jack hushed him as well, "I-I know, so look at this one. It has dark green scales, and the scales grow up the body, not down. This isn't a fire dragon, it's a female earth dragon. It spits only acid, not fire, meaning she's not our bounty. She's the fire dragon's mate, which... means.. it..." Jack's voice trailed off as he stared towards the sky. Everyone else looked up in the same direction and paled. In the distance, a large, red mass with wings came into view. It was almost twice the size of the earth dragon, its scales were pointed and razor sharp, and was had four long horns on its crown. As it came closer, it began to spit fire in anger as it saw its dead mate lying next to the six small intruders.

Epoch screamed like a little girl and began to frantically run away. The dragon dove down and flew straight for him. Shinzuu signaled the Sisters to raise a shield. As they ran for Epoch, Nimali jumped and stomped hard onto the ground. A slab of earth raised up from the ground in front of Epoch, and he ran face first into it, falling over after impact. Jack turned to the sisters, "What the heck was that!?" Nimali smiled, "Eliminating the competition, of course," and she stuck out her toungue. Epoch screamed as the dragon opened its jaws to devour him.

Suddenly, there was a large river of flame that shot through the air and sent the dragon tumbling over in midair. Everyone looked over to the direction where the fire came from. There stood a small figure dressed in a gleaming, red, gold and white robe. Though a rabbit-Kin, she had a beauty about her that attracted men of all species. At the hem of her robe, there was a medallion with the unmistakable symbol on it, a sigil. It was Carina Gallant, the rabbit-Kin Guardian, the most feared Guardian of all. The dragon roared as it recovered its balance and glared at her. Without so much as blinking, she raised a pillar of fire from below the dragon, engulfing it. It roared in anger and forced its head out of the pillar and shot a continuous stream of fire straight at Carina.

She raised her right hand and the fire stopped its progression just short of her hand. She glared back at it. "Thou dareth to challenge me, the master of fire? I have been controlling fire since before thine parents had hatched." With a simple push from her hand, the flames pushed back from the center of the stream and all of it forced itself down the dragon's throat. She then raise her other hand, increasing the pillar's intensity. Unable to fight the pillar's power, the dragon's head was forced back into the pillar and roared in dire pain. Carina closed both of her hands into tight fists and the dragon burst open from the inside, it's innards and flesh incinerating to dust within the intense pillar of flame.

The Sisters marveled at the sight of the flames and the men's eyes glowed at the majesty of it all. After all was reduced to dust, Carina relaxed and the pillar disappeared. She walked slowly over to the onlookers. The Sisters stared in awe at her, Shinzuu and Jack covered the still down Epoch and drew their blades. Carina stopped short and eyed them. "Don't worry, I honor this kingdom's sovereignty, though I wish not to. Thou children are lucky that I was invited for tea by the princess, or else thou all wouldn'st have been so lucky. Personally, if the Magi Sisters weren't here, I would've let the fire dragon kill thee. Still, what happened, happened. By and by, I'm more interested in finding out how thou convinced Emperor Zhukov to extend his sovereignty to thee. As long as thou remaineth in the capitol, not even we Guardians can touch thee. However, be warned. If I ever findeth thee out beyond these mountains, I will slay thee in the name of the two hundred and seventy loyal men thou slaughtered three years ago." She turned silently and disappeared down the mountain.

Jack and Shinzuu helped Epoch up and began to walk him down the mountain. Before even taking two steps, however, they were surrounded by four walls that shot up from the ground. Nimali's voice came from over the wall, "Just because Carina let you go, doesn't mean we will. We'll kill you and then collect the bounties on both the dragon AND you guys!" She laughed triumphantly, but stopped in mid-laugh as the walls blew up. She sneered at the three, "So the bear still has a little bit of majicka left in him to blow the walls. But you guys don't stand a chance against us. Your sorcerer's almost out of majicka and cast anymore magic, and we are three sorceresses with more than enough majicka left." Shinzuu smirked and stood up. Jack grabbed his wrist, shaking his head, but Shinzuu wiggled out with a reassuring look. "Don't worry, I won't kill them. I'll show them what REAL professionals can do." He threw off his cloak and drew his sword. "Let's do this."
« Last Edit: December 16, 2009, 10:57:27 PM by Shinzuu Katame: Her Tolfy »

Offline Vee Katame: His Wolfy

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Re: The Kin Chronicles: The Black Kat
« Reply #19 on: December 16, 2009, 11:47:14 PM »
That was great.
And the next chapter will be even better...I'm in it. xD
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Offline Chrono Blackwyng

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Re: The Kin Chronicles: The Black Kat
« Reply #20 on: December 16, 2009, 11:52:28 PM »
*pop's out of Vee's hair covered in christmas lights* I agree with the top line, but will agree with the bottom line if i'm in the next line :P
"From suffering I was born, From misery I was conceived. From the plight of Mortals I thrive, From the pits of Hell I rise, beware...... For I live.........."

"Wait, you're here for my shiny loot? I thought you were here to avenge the cattle and people I've slaughtered..."

"I may not always be a caring person, but even when I am furious, it is mostly at myself for becoming this way"
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Re: The Kin Chronicles: The Black Kat
« Reply #21 on: December 16, 2009, 11:55:16 PM »
Now you're just trying to be confusing, Chrono. :P lol.
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Offline Chrono Blackwyng

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Re: The Kin Chronicles: The Black Kat
« Reply #22 on: December 17, 2009, 12:13:00 AM »
Now you're just trying to be confusing, Chrono. :P lol.
Nuh-uh, I wouldve typed it backwards if I wanted to be like that :P
"From suffering I was born, From misery I was conceived. From the plight of Mortals I thrive, From the pits of Hell I rise, beware...... For I live.........."

"Wait, you're here for my shiny loot? I thought you were here to avenge the cattle and people I've slaughtered..."

"I may not always be a caring person, but even when I am furious, it is mostly at myself for becoming this way"
The definition of Pwn (along with examples): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fhb89V43KWc&feature=channel

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Re: The Kin Chronicles: The Black Kat
« Reply #23 on: December 17, 2009, 12:24:14 PM »
Heh, once again I agree great job. And you stick to the actual logistics of fantasy even better job and come now Vee it will be great with you in it yes but it is still great so far is it not?
My dear there is no danger
Can't you see they turn blind eyes
To we swift and spotlight strangers?
Oh before the rush is over
We will be revered again
While the victims still recover
Oh,
Are we running toward death?
I have met him times before
He adores us like the rest
Oh even if we're discovered
Just be sure to wear your best
We will surely make the covers


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Offline Vee Katame: His Wolfy

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Re: The Kin Chronicles: The Black Kat
« Reply #24 on: December 17, 2009, 04:13:03 PM »
I said it was great! :P
I just said I would improve it a little more. ^_^
Heh. He knows I love him and his story. :3
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Re: The Kin Chronicles: The Black Kat
« Reply #25 on: December 17, 2009, 08:49:56 PM »
Acourse, as I love the both of you as well =D
My dear there is no danger
Can't you see they turn blind eyes
To we swift and spotlight strangers?
Oh before the rush is over
We will be revered again
While the victims still recover
Oh,
Are we running toward death?
I have met him times before
He adores us like the rest
Oh even if we're discovered
Just be sure to wear your best
We will surely make the covers


I am a Hermaphrodite and proud of it!

Offline KittKat chunky~

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Re: The Kin Chronicles: The Black Kat
« Reply #26 on: December 17, 2009, 08:52:33 PM »
great work... reading real smooth and stays true to the genre of writing... cant wait to see my character... and if you keep writing this good im gonna have to give you a cookie  :3
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Re: The Kin Chronicles: The Black Kat
« Reply #27 on: December 17, 2009, 09:45:03 PM »
i don't really like the Chapter title

One minute the Magi sisters and Shin's party are poised ready to gut each other open with reckless abonden painting the mountain a new color,

the next they are best friends?
I mean if they had to work together, they would be very begrudging about it and since you said the Magi Sisters like to murder other bounty hunters when the time is right, well they'll do just that

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Re: The Kin Chronicles: The Black Kat
« Reply #28 on: December 17, 2009, 11:26:40 PM »
My response: And at the end, they're about to fight and tear each other apart. They didn't become "best friends", they just decided to work together fighting the (wrong) dragon, and then after the Guardian killed the (right) dragon and left, the Sisters turn on them to kill them and collect the bounty on their heads and the dragon's head. It makes sense to me. *shrugs* Maybe I'm just easily pleased.

Shinzuu's response: He appreciates the criticism, it's helpful. Unfortunately, he was too lazy to add in a tiny detail that he left out.
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Re: The Kin Chronicles: The Black Kat
« Reply #29 on: December 17, 2009, 11:33:04 PM »
also I have another issue

You have Carina speaking like she was a noble crusader, speaking with all the thous and thees of that time period
but Iridian seems to lack that.
Is it cause they are different people, because I thought Guardians were to sound haughty.

 

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