HUNGER? More like that feeling you'll NEVER HAVE AGAIN.

[Sync]

***DISCLAIMER*** Please accept my apologies, as I had just gotten out of the shower - thus my looking all wet. Additionally, it is currently Winter Break, so I have not shaved in a multitude of days. Please excuse my hobo-ish features for the duration of this AMAZING guide!

You come to me feeling a strange sensation in your lower-midsection. What is that feeling? That, my friend, is HUNGER - a villain that must be SMOTE DOWN and CAST AWAY INTO THE ABYSS. Follow me, as I teach you how to banish this wretched creature from your home!

LET US BEGIN:
Choose your shield. This shield must be porous and tasty, and able to handle the raging fires of Death. I choose Whole Grain Wheat Bread - it is sturdy, healthy, and scrumptious.



Now, RATE YOUR HUNGER. An average hunger calls for the wholesomeness of TWO shields. If you feel the lashings of Death upon your midsection, THREE may be required. Today felt like a two day.



Now, SELECT YOUR WEAPON. It should be sturdy and metallic, and for the most part flat. Pots? PAH! The PAN is the perfect weapon for smiting the hell-spawn that lurch forth from your stomach.



We must now create the cradle for the Baby of Hunger Destruction (BoHD) to rest in. Be sure to take care in the chiseling of the oval shape - it must be large, but not so large that you destroy the protective outside shell of the cradle.



WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Don't put the scraps from the cradle in the garbage! The scraps can be used as a buffer to help the BoHD strike down hunger. CONSUME THEM IMMEDIATELY.



Very good, my apprentice. Now, place your weapon on the stove and warm it up with copious amounts of butter. After retrieving an amount of eggs equal to the amount of shields (bread slices), proceed to place your cradle into your weapon. the formula for eggs to slices is thus: (Eggs (e); Slices ($); e == $;)



See that egg over there? Pick it up. This egg could be a great many things: a vaccine, or a baby chicken, or a... hmm, ran out of things. Anyways, it won't be any of those today. No. Hold your egg between your thumb, index and middle finger, and proceed to SMASH A HOLE IN ITS SIDE. Now, rip that infertile, single-celled organism in two and dump it's innards into the cradle. Congratulations, you have begun concocting the BoHD.



YOU MUST REMOVE THE H2O IN THE BABY WITH YOUR BATTLEFACE ON.



When the BoHD has cooked for a good while on one side, proceed to scrape it off of your weapon and flop it over. (You can easily see when it's ready to be flopped - just look for a thick, white color to appear on the reverse side of the BoHD.)



See this? NOW THAT'S COOKED TO AMAZINGNESS. Scrape that puppy off and put it on a PLATE!



Grab a fork and enjoy smiting Hunger to the very bowels of... later today.

[Alice The Necrofox]

ONE EYED JACK!!
Yuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

[Something]

Fantastick! i Have to do this!

[Timmy Fox]

Same thing as my dad does sometimes

[Sync]

Same thing as my dad does sometimes

My exploration into the effects of perforating time and space lead to some unexpected results...

I wanted to tell you sooner, but... I'm sorry. I AM YOUR FATHER.

[AirRaiser]

Eggs on a Raft, add syrup and NOMM! My boyfriend makes them for me, they are SOOO GOOD!

[Timmy Fox]

I'm sorry. I AM YOUR FATHER.

*Dramatic scene* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[AirRaiser]

Your facial expressions are the best. 

[Sync]

IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN, MORTALS! Actually, I've decided that this one is going to be calm and normal.

Omlette

Get out the good old pan again - preferably a large-bottomed pan. Here are the supplies you'll need:



Approximately FOUR eggs. That's it. Everything else is up to you - I like green onions and cheese in mine.



Get a bowl and your eggs. Crack the eggs into the bowl and scramble them with a fork. (Pictured: Not four eggs.)





When sufficiently scrambled, pour the bowl into the pan. Turn on the heat and wait for about... 5 minutes.



After a short while, the eggs will seem to rise, and NOW is when you add your favorite sides. (You could put them in with the eggs at the start, but putting them in now prevents the small things like Green Onion from burning.) Wait about 2 minutes, and prod at the sides of the omlette with a spatula.



Once you can get under the omlette, flop one side onto the other to make it look like a taco. You might have to hold the omlette with the spatula to prevent it from flopping open again.



Once it will stay together without your help, flip it over. (Below: How NOT to flip)





Congrats! Enjoy your food!

P.S.: Sorry the pics are fairly large this time around.


EDIT: I promise I will at least ATTEMPT to be funny again next time around... I just needed something to keep the thread alive.

[WingedZephyr]

Got anything that isn't eggs? I'm not a fan of eggs.

Also remember that you can get a staff member's permission to keep a thread open past its two-week expiration date as long as you have decent enough reason to. Posting more food ideas would be such a reason in this case.

[Alonzorion]

MY MIND WAS BLOWN SHORTLY AFTER MY HUNGER WAS VANQUISHED.

[Sync]

MY MIND WAS BLOWN SHORTLY AFTER MY HUNGER WAS VANQUISHED.

Code: [Select]

To conquer hunger...

...You must first invent the universe.
It was obligatory.

On another note, I'll figure something out that isn't egg. If I'm on my own for a meal, it's usually either an egg-y food, or ramen - they're both so easy!
Meh, I'll see what I can cook up.

WOAH - this is going to be fun. Let's all laugh at me learning how to cook actual foods! Lulz to come sometime tomorrow or the day after. What should it be? I'm taking recommendations (I don't have any reservations food-wise, so give me your best. Unless it's absolutely nasty. E.G. Steamed fish heads. Keep that outside.)

Let's kick this train wreck into gear with... Rice Krispy Treats? I dunno what else I could possibly make without a grocery run... meh, We'll see what I've got tomorrow. 3:30 AM is a bad time to raid the pantry.

[Blackout]

***DISCLAIMER*** Please accept my apologies, as I had just gotten out of the shower - thus my looking all wet. Additionally, it is currently Winter Break, so I have not shaved in a multitude of days. Please excuse my hobo-ish features for the duration of this AMAZING guide!

You come to me feeling a strange sensation in your lower-midsection. What is that feeling? That, my friend, is HUNGER - a villain that must be SMOTE DOWN and CAST AWAY INTO THE ABYSS. Follow me, as I teach you how to banish this wretched creature from your home!

LET US BEGIN:
Choose your shield. This shield must be porous and tasty, and able to handle the raging fires of Death. I choose Whole Grain Wheat Bread - it is sturdy, healthy, and scrumptious.



Now, RATE YOUR HUNGER. An average hunger calls for the wholesomeness of TWO shields. If you feel the lashings of Death upon your midsection, THREE may be required. Today felt like a two day.



Now, SELECT YOUR WEAPON. It should be sturdy and metallic, and for the most part flat. Pots? PAH! The PAN is the perfect weapon for smiting the hell-spawn that lurch forth from your stomach.



We must now create the cradle for the Baby of Hunger Destruction (BoHD) to rest in. Be sure to take care in the chiseling of the oval shape - it must be large, but not so large that you destroy the protective outside shell of the cradle.



WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Don't put the scraps from the cradle in the garbage! The scraps can be used as a buffer to help the BoHD strike down hunger. CONSUME THEM IMMEDIATELY.



Very good, my apprentice. Now, place your weapon on the stove and warm it up with copious amounts of butter. After retrieving an amount of eggs equal to the amount of shields (bread slices), proceed to place your cradle into your weapon. the formula for eggs to slices is thus: (Eggs (e); Slices ($); e == $;)



See that egg over there? Pick it up. This egg could be a great many things: a vaccine, or a baby chicken, or a... hmm, ran out of things. Anyways, it won't be any of those today. No. Hold your egg between your thumb, index and middle finger, and proceed to SMASH A HOLE IN ITS SIDE. Now, rip that infertile, single-celled organism in two and dump it's innards into the cradle. Congratulations, you have begun concocting the BoHD.



YOU MUST REMOVE THE H2O IN THE BABY WITH YOUR BATTLEFACE ON.


When the BoHD has cooked for a good while on one side, proceed to scrape it off of your weapon and flop it over. (You can easily see when it's ready to be flopped - just look for a thick, white color to appear on the reverse side of the BoHD.)



See this? NOW THAT'S COOKED TO AMAZINGNESS. Scrape that puppy off and put it on a PLATE!



Grab a fork and enjoy smiting Hunger to the very bowels of... later today.

This post is....amazing. I....I am humbled to have been present when it came into being.

[Alonzorion]

On another note, I'll figure something out that isn't egg. If I'm on my own for a meal, it's usually either an egg-y food, or ramen - they're both so easy!
Meh, I'll see what I can cook up.

WOAH - this is going to be fun. Let's all laugh at me learning how to cook actual foods! Lulz to come sometime tomorrow or the day after. What should it be? I'm taking recommendations (I don't have any reservations food-wise, so give me your best. Unless it's absolutely nasty. E.G. Steamed fish heads. Keep that outside.)

Let's kick this train wreck into gear with... Rice Krispy Treats? I dunno what else I could possibly make without a grocery run... meh, We'll see what I've got tomorrow. 3:30 AM is a bad time to raid the pantry.

I'm your biggest fan so... Keep it vegetarian. ^^

[Sync]

I'm your biggest fan so... Keep it vegetarian. ^^

Ooooh... hmm... I know NOTHING about vegan foods... I'll see what I can do, lol.

Google, don't fail me.