Well, here is chapter two. I would have had it up yesterday but I had something very big drop in my lap that morning and had to deal with it the rest of the day, giving me no time to work on it. Also all day today I worked on it, I just got to finish it up tonight, staying up an extra 3 hours than I usually do to finish it. Anyway, before we get started, I want to get feedback on my dialogue usage, see if I got that right. John also experiences a flashback early on about his past. The chapter was originally going to be titled "Troubled past" but i changed it to what it is now, because it is mostly Edgar taking John around the city. Also, the currency is introduced and three new characters are introduced, the first is Ompi Yoodie, a short Asian guy. You might be able to tell something is wrong with him, there is; he has a speech problem which makes him replace his "L"s with "R"s. He also has another outstanding personality trait you will hopefully pick up on. Without further adue! Chapter two!
Chapter two:
Tour guide.
John sat across from Edgar at a small round table in the corner of the apartment. They both ate their cold Chinese takeout that was supplied in the ration package and remained quiet. John looked around the room as he ate. Next to the bed against the wall was a nightstand with a small drawer in it which was open slightly. Next to the red couch stood a lamp with flowers printed on it’s shade. John opened a can of water as he continued to look around spotting a dresser at the foot of the bed. “Don’t drink that!” choked out Edgar still swallowing a bit of food. John had stopped the can inches from his lips ready to drink it.
John lowered the can and looked at Edgar. “Why not?” asked John as he set it down on the table. Edgar stabbed his fork back into his box of takeout and beat his chest to get the rest of his food down. He stood up, grabbed the can of water and walked to the sink. “The Breen’s water is laced with some bad chemicals.” he replied as he poured the contents of the can down the drain. “Chemicals? What kind of chemicals?” asked John turning in his chair to watch Edgar. “Not really sure, but we know its to make citizens more obedient, a brainwashing tactic of the Combine…” replied Edgar as he finished pouring out the can down the drain. He trashed it and went over to the fridge.
Edgar opened the fridge and slid a few of the cans of Breen’s water aside, he then pulled out another bottle of water. He closed the door and walked back to the table. “Ya drink this.” he said setting the bottle on the table. “Not that crap.” Edgar sat down and began to eat again. “Alright, thanks for the heads up.” said John before taking another bite of food. “It’s no problem.” said Edgar. They both sat quietly for a few more minutes as they ate until Edgar spoke up. “So, ya got any family around?”
John remained silent, memories flooding his mind.
“Hey, John, you okay?”
“I’m fine, Vincent…”
“C’mon, we gotta keep moving or we’ll be picked up by a patrol.”
“John? John!” said Edgar snapping his fingers. “You okay?” John shook his head at looked at Edgar. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine…” “So do you have any family?” Edgar asked again. “Yeah, a brother and a cousin…” replied John, seeming uncomfortable. “Yeah? Lucky you, what about parents? They still around?” asked Edgar taking the last bite of his Chinese takeout. “Their both dead…” John said glumly setting his empty box of takeout on the table. Edgar had a tough time swallowing the bite of food. “Sorry to hear that.” said Edgar after managing to swallow his food. John got up and threw away empty box of his food then tossed his fork in the sink.
Edgar stood up suddenly and looked at John. “Hey, c’mon, lets show ya around the city! How ‘bout it?” he said as he pushed in his chair and threw away his empty box. “Sure, sounds fun…” shrugged John. Edgar walked to the door and John followed him out. Halfway down the hall Edgar stopped. “Hey, John, wait here a sec, I forgot something.” John said nothing and just leaned on the wall as Edgar ran back to the room. He went in and a few moments later came back out. “Alright, let’s go.” They both continued down the rest of the hallway, down the stairs and out through the lobby. As they exited the building they were met with the sun beating down on them from high in the sky.
The city was filled with citizens walking about doing mindless tasks for the Civil Protection units that were patrolling the streets. John noticed the citizens working; picking up various pieces of trash or scrubbing walls to earn extra tokens. Someone started to scream, catching everyone’s attention. It was a man being dragged by his arms by two Civil Protection units down the road. The man kicked and screamed, pleading to be released as they two units dragged him down hill further down the road. John and Edgar were going in that direction so they saw him be dragged into a door that slid open, leading into a massive building. Edgar nudged John in the shoulder to break his gaze of the man and then walked into a building. John looked up and saw a sign above the door reading “Two brothers’ Trading goods.”.
John went inside after Edgar and looked around. The store was empty customer wise, but there were pictures on the wall. A few tables with potted plants, a few chairs and a blue couch with stripes. John saw Edgar leaning over the counter which no one was behind. “Omp-AY! Where ya at?!” After a moment a voice sounded from the back room.
“Its OmPI, damn it! How many times I terr you?!”
“Calm down, shorty.”
A rather short and slightly chubby Asian man walked out from the back room with an angry look on his face. “What you want, I’rr kick you in nuts!” Edgar chuckled at Ompi as he fumed. “Where’s Skee at?” asked Edgar. “Hrmf, he at rounge most rikery, now get out!” replied Ompi angrily shooing Edgar away by waving his hands at him. “Hey hey hey! That anyway to treat a paying customer?” taunted Edgar as he took out a small box of tokens and shook it. Ompi’s expression changed instantly as his eyes lit up at the sight of tokens. “Ooooh, werr werr, what you need, good friend?” Ompi extended his hands trying to grab the tokens from Edgar but he pulled them back just out of his reach. “Ah ah ah, I need two backpacks first, then these are yours.” said Edgar shaking the box again. Ompi practically shook at the sound as he ran off into the back room returning only moments later with two backpacks in hand. Edgar extended the box of tokens to Ompi who quickly tossed the backpacks at Edgar and took the tokens. “Thanks, Ompi.” said Edgar passing one of the backpacks to John. “Oh yes, you wercome, come back soon and buy more!” said Ompi caressing the tokens. “C’mon, lets go before he starts kissin’ the damn things.” said Edgar walking out of the store motioning for John to follow him.
They both walked down the road next to each other. “Who was that?” asked John. “Oh, that was Ompi, Ompi Yoodie, Co-Owner of The two brothers’ Trading goods.” replied Edgar as he motion for John to go right. “And Skee?” asked John as he turned right and continued to walk with Edgar down the road. “Skee’s a pal of mine, he’s also Co-Owner of The two brothers’ Trading goods.” As they walked they went through an alleyway into another part of the city. The area had a darker presence about it, it was more dirty than the other area. Edgar and John walked towards a stair case that lead down into a building. Edgar opened the door and walked in followed by John. The atmosphere changed almost instantly, the pungent smell of Chinese takeout was stuck in the air as they walked towards the counter.
The counter was directly in the center of the room with barstools around it. A television set was suspended from the ceiling above the bar. Towards one side of the room there was a couch and a few chairs which accommodated a few people. The room was filled with people sitting and standing around the counter talking to each other or the few people behind the counter serving Breen’s water and Chinese takeout. Edgar walked up to the counter and pounded on it a couple times to get the bartender’s attention. “Hey, Josh!” he said loudly as to be heard over the crowd of people. A man no taller than John with short brown hair turned his head and walked over.
“Heeeey, Edgar my man!”
Josh eyed John who was looking around the place, seemingly lost. “Who’s your friend?” Josh asked abruptly. Edgar looked behind him then back at Josh. “Oh, that’s John, new friend of mine.” As John heard his name he looked in their direction. “Well put’er there, Johnny boy, any friend of Edgar’s is a friend of mine!” said Josh cheerily extending his hand to John to shake.
John walked up and shook his hand firmly. “So is Skee around here?” asked Edgar bluntly while the two shook hands. “Yeah, he’s in the back, go on in.” replied Josh taking his hand back. C’mon John, lets go.” said Edgar tapping John on his shoulder with the back of his hand. He followed Edgar around the bar and into the back room. John noticed an open door as they passed, from the brief glimpse he got it looked like a bathroom. Edgar and John stopped at a door passed the bathroom and Edgar pounded on it. “Open up! Civil Protection!” shouted Edgar imitating a Civil Protection unit’s voice. Immediate scuffling and movement was heard on the other side of the door. “Can I help you, sir?” asked a man politely through the door. “Open up, Skee, it’s me, Edgar!” said Edgar laughing wildly.
The door opened after a bit of swearing was heard from behind it and Edgar walked in. John followed and the man the opened the door drew a nine-millimeter pistol and grabbed John by the collar and yanked him inside. John was slammed against the wall with a pistol pointed in his face. “Who’s this guy, Edgar? He following you?! Huh?!” said the man grabbing John’s collar tighter and moving the gun closer. John’s eyes were open widened as he looked quickly back and forth at Edgar and the man with the gun. He was as tall as John, he was clearly Asian you could tell looking through his glasses. His hair was black, though it was hard to tell it was so shortly cut. Edgar put his hand on the man’s shoulder and squeezed it firmly. “You take it easy, he’s with me, Skee.” said Edgar sternly. Skee let go of John and lowered the gun. “Yo sorry, man, my bad.” he said as he straightened John’s jumpsuit for him. “Wha’choo here for anyway, Edgar?” asked Skee as he walked towards a stack of crates. He reached behind them after tucking his pistol in his jumpsuit and pulled out a suitcase. He set it on top of a crate and opened it up and stood aside with his arms folded. “Just got in some new hardware, take a look.” Edgar and John both got closer and looked at the contents of the suitcase. It was filled with several things; a Nine-millimeter pistol with a few clips next to it, a bundle of zip-ties, a few handheld radios, two bottles of pills, an eight-inch combat knife, a door breach and a wide assortment of boxes of bullets.
John was obviously shocked at all the stuff that was before him, though Edgar wasn’t all too surprised as he looked over the items. Edgar grabbed a bottle of pills, a few zip-ties and the knife. He passed the knife to John who was confused but took it and examined it. Edgar then took out another box of tokens and tossed it to Skee who caught it with both hands and pocketed it. “John, give’em your backpack.” said Edgar taking off his backpack and putting the pills and zip-ties in it. “What for?” John asked as he took it off. “Skee, fill it up with some good food, I gave you plenty enough to fill these both.” Edgar said taking John’s backpack and passing Skee both backpacks. Skee took them and nodded. “You two get acquainted, gonna use the can real quick.” said Edgar abruptly walking out the door and closing it behind him quickly.
John looked around the room, it had a few racks up against the walls filled with various cans of water and boxes of what appeared to be junk. The room was actually pretty small, the walls were bare of any pictures or other pleasantries. A noticeable light flickered above his head. John looked over to Skee who opened a fridge next to the stacks; it was filled to the brim with Breen’s water. Skee reached his hand to the side of it all and pulled; it was a fake wall made up of cans of Breen’s water. John was surprised as he set it down and looked inside, there was a ton of food and other drinks in it. Skee opened up the backpacks and started loading in the food and stuff. He put in a melon in one, a two liter bottle of soda in each, a bottle of what looked like beer in each, several bottles of water in each then some miscellaneous fruits.
Skee put back on the fake covering and closed the fridge and picked up the backpacks and walked over to the boxes and set them back down. “Quite a lot of stuff there, thanks.” said John. “Ain’t done yet, Johnny boy.” said Skee lifting the top off of one the crates. He pulled out various cans and small boxes of food and tossed them in the backpacks. After awhile Skee sipped up the backpacks as Edgar walked back in. “Done in here yet, guys?” asked Edgar closing the door behind him. “Yeah, man, just finished up.” replied Skee. “Sweet, thank, Skee.” said Edgar as he took his backpack and put it on. John was debating on where to put his new knife as Skee held out his backpack to him. “Uh…” mumbled John confused as he looked around his person.
Edgar took the knife from John and he grabbed the backpack feeling someone defeated as he put it on his back. “Got a sheath for this thing?” asked Edgar waving the knife around. “Yeah, gimme a sec.” replied Skee as he went over to one of the racks and dug around in the various boxes. He soon pulled out a sheath and tossed it to John who caught it. Edgar spun the knife around in his hand, grabbing it by the blade and passing it to John. “Try to hide it somewhere they won’t find it.” said Edgar as John took the knife. He knelt down and lifted up his right pant leg and fastened the sheath to it and slid the knife in. He pulled down his pant leg and stood back up. “Alright, let’s go.” said John with a somewhat triumphant tone. Edgar chuckled as they said bye to Skee and left back to the apartment.
Topic: The WhiteFox Chronicles. (Read 2016 times)