I have a great life. Seriously. A loving, caring, understanding family that doesn't judge me for my interests, Internet, Gaming consoles, Clothes, A laptop, Ipod, Pets, my own room, and a lot of the time I get what I want when I ask for it. I have an easy life. No strenuous chores, no job (yet), minimal homework, and all the time in the world. My family may not have a lot of money, but we make it work. And despite the cost of internet, my dad keeps it, for me.
But you know what? Even though I have it easy, a "happy" life, I still effing hate it. I get unjustly angry, irritable, mad, and for no reason! I get upset by the -smallest- of things, and blow things out of proportion, causing more trouble than good. I really think I am a horrible girlfriend, and that I don't deserve someone like Sytex, but he stays anyway. I mean, hell, I'm grateful, he helps me through a lot. But I hate how I treat him. If anything he's in the front lines when it comes to my outbursts. If anyone, he's the worst hit. Ugh.
And on top of everything, I let other peoples problems weigh on me too much. Like one person on dA I watch, I love her art, she has a wonderful style, but she's in a rough patch, cuts herself, and has tried to kill herself. I don't even know her and that there makes me feel like *insert some work here idek crap i guess*. Oh, and another of my friends, apparently she's "given up" on talking with me, because I suck at holding conversations, and to boot she's in a crap mood because she just broke up with her bf. Idek why does this crap bother me so much.
Oh, not to mention I keep myself in a bad mood usually because I beat myself up about my failures and problems. Not physically of course, I'm too much of a wimp to self harm haha, I guess thats a real good thing.
Went to the doctors the other day. She said I likely have Anxiety and depression, but before giving me any meds or whatever they're going to send me to a counselor/professional and I have to get some bloodwork done. Hopefully that will help clear stuff up, I seriously tired of my crap, and I'm sure Sytex is too.
Wow I sound like a whiny emo. W/e, theres my vent for the day.
On a happier note, I got some giftart from a friend and it's really great.
http://thejiggymonster.deviantart.com/art/I-Stepped-in-a-Rainbow-362403096/done