Thanks for sharing Grey. *hugs*
IN any other thread I would say something else, but:
I can tell you all about the power of positive thinking, how to change irrational beliefs that lead to negative cognition, the existential philosophy of Albert Camus and the debate between Leibniz and Voltaire over the best of all possible words.
I listen to happy music when I'm sad to pull me out of it, I do exercise to fight depression, I volunteer to connect to community, I do artistic things to feed my soul, I play with my kids and I snuggle my dogs...
I don't have suicidal ideation, I see a psychiatrist and have tried 4 or 5 different anti-depressants.
But I can't stop crying and I just want to curl up and die.
I've project a positive image and I make others happy... I'm sorry, but what I think I need is a Trixsie for me.
Where my goddamn Trixsie? It just sucks.