This is one of the many reasons I hate alcohol! It makes the people I love into bloody morons!
I couldn't agree more. For many similar reasons. I'm just sorry you have to deal with that crap... Things will get better, I promise.
Now for my rant... I cannot stand this stupid shit going on with my grandparents. My Grandfather is a complete mess. I'm just driving to go drop my truck off by a mechanic. But I take a wrong turn, and a car gets in the way of my Grandfather's turn and we lose each other on the road. His phone stops working, for some reason, his number getting randomly transferred without his consent by Tracfone? I don't know, but some lady answers after I spend fifteen minutes just trying to get my phone to actually manage a call (old android phone with many problems).
I get on the line with him eventually, after I call the home phone some minutes after. He starts PANICKING because he couldn't make the turn with me and I tell him it's okay... Then he goes and starts blaming me for everything. "YOU SHOULD HAVE HAD BETTER DIRECTIONS" and "WHY DID YOU TURN THERE? I COULDN'T FOLLOW YOU!" Or whatever. I explain to him I was actually going to double check my directions before anything, and I didn't want to miss the street (blown head gasket, so the vehicle overheats after too long, so the stop would keep the heat from going up while I check my directions). He then proceeds to say "**censor** you" under his breath, and the very second I ask why he said that... he hangs up. I call back, he starts panicking to me about how his phone's not working (I mean actually having a childish conniption fit), and I try to explain to him, but he apparently doesn't want to know why, just how to fix it, but when I start telling him, he doesn't even listen... He just rants more about how horrible it was that I turned there. Hangs up again.
I call back because I still need to talk to him, since I need to tell him exactly where I stopped. I hear him ask to borrow my grandmother's phone... but she's so paranoid he's going to break it (presumably because he threw the other phone in anger, which is evident by dents and scratches) that she refuses. Which basically means all I get to do is HEAR conversation, rather than make a simple explanation of the little deal. I try talking, but he's freaking out so much that he just hangs up again, not listening to me at all. Fourth call back, and they're still fighting. I ask him to put my grandmother back on the phone... He just starts freaking out about the phone again and how my Grandmother won't let him use hers. Ranting angrily as if I didn't hear him the whole time... He hangs up. Again.
I call back one more time to try and explain this to him. Turns out he's just walked out the door saying "I'm going to kill both of you," and comes out to me to continue our drive out to drop off the truck. No, nothing violent came about, but he had my Grandmother TERRIFIED of the possibility. Everything went well from there, but then my Grandmother called me, freaking out. Which made my grandfather shout in the background of the phone call. It took forever to make him stop ranting about the same shit. An hour, to be precise. I explained to him that I wasn't worried that he missed the turn and I figured he wasn't going to stick around searching for me (since my vehicle at least functioned enough to get home), hence why I seemed to call home right as he walked through the door. I explained that I just wanted him to come back out to the store I stopped in front of and we finish up the business and just head home. Nope, he still freaked out about the phone and my turn. I gave up even trying to reason with him.
I do not know why I try to make sense of anything to him. He HATES having things explained, even when he asks. (This applies to ANYTHING; sciences, technology, religions, acceptance (since he can be very homophobic, transphobic, sexist and ageist), music, or hidden meanings... you name it.) He also never gets his head off of one subject and will always bother you about it. Hell, he tries to tell my father not to eat certain things or say certain words IN MY FATHER'S OWN HOUSE. He also willingly omitted certain details (as he ALWAYS does) of his argument with my grandmother, including the swearing at me, throwing the phone, swearing at her, saying he'd kill us (though his justification to this is the figure of speech "I could kill you for that" and similar, which I believe but... don't really trust, considering a rather stupid fistfight he tried to start with me over covering a bowl of macaroni a few years ago... like, wat), and his screaming when he put the phone down.
I'm legitimately terrified he's got problems beyond our help.