I feel really trapped in this house and really miss solitude. I'm having anxiety every hour, and paranoia that my boyfriend's brothers and sisters despise me, they judge me a lot; I can't really say anything back because I want to avoid conflict and I'm a coward. They all love the older brother's girlfriend, she has all the liking qualities that I don't have. She's cute, quirky, out going, conversationalist, and she smiles all the time. Where as I an introverted freak can't even function daily socializing and suffer from bi-polar depression and can't smile most of the time because of it...I'm learning that I'm more shallow than I thought. It makes me feel a bit better to just quickly post my niches here at least.