Rants: Everyday Venting

[Ventus Fall]

My hypermobility acted up again today. A muscle in the back of my neck, left side, which runs down to my left shoulder has 'turned' (I don't know how else to explain it). Making my left arm unusable, and me being in constant pain.
It was so much I couldn't even get up.

This isn't an every day occurrence, but it really frustrated me and made me upset, I just broke down. Had to lay in bed for 1,5 hour to 2 hours before I could even remotely move so I can just do a simple act like getting up.

*would roll around in frustration now if I could*

The irony of it is that I had originally an appointment planned to go to the physiotherapist today, I cancelled it yesterday ._.

[Cecilia Peromi]

Every time I leave and come back to this thread I'm just heartbroken. You guys deserve so much better than what life is giving you right now. Just stay strong everyone, never give up, there's always a silver lining. And if you really need some help, please come to me. Yes, I'm busy, but I'll make the time, I'll make sure that you get to talk with me. I promise.

[ZielZorix]

I want to get a better pair of headphones for listening to music on my phone while I am at work, but I can't find a pair that is comfortable and in my price range!  ARGH!

Post Merge: October 25, 2016, 03:15:08 PM

Every time I leave and come back to this thread I'm just heartbroken. You guys deserve so much better than what life is giving you right now. Just stay strong everyone, never give up, there's always a silver lining. And if you really need some help, please come to me. Yes, I'm busy, but I'll make the time, I'll make sure that you get to talk with me. I promise.

Thank you!  That has got to be one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me!

[Rocco Rex]

After the Internet problem hit a couple months ago, it's been one hellish fight after another.
This few week period, not near enough sleep, plenty of stress, problems popping up.
The past few days, worked so late on college that I passed out as I was working, almost got seriously injured or killed at work and then burnt my hand a few days later, barely keeping up with college, work isn't publishing schedules more than a couple days at a time, home is fun as ever, and my mind is getting to overload status. I'm not sure how much more of this schedule (wake up if I slept or passed out, do college, go to work, get home and do more college until I go to bed or pass out) I can survive, I'm even starting to snap at younger brothers now. Next week looks like it finally might get me a little breathing room. Except my lovely dad is all ready filling it up with stuff HE wants me to do. Great, just great.

I'm surprised I'm still going. I'm just not sure how long I'll be able to keep going. I feel like I'll collapse, pass out, whatever at any moment

[Cecilia Peromi]

Sounds like you're really pushing yourself. You're working way too hard, and from what you've just said it's having a bad effect in your health. You can't keep this up Rocco, you're going to make yourself sick or worse. You NEED to take a break, It's not an option anymore. I know that your dad doesn't understand, but please find a way to get some rest. You're literally working yourself to death.

[Rocco Rex]

Oh I would absolutely love to take a break, but what do I give up? Do I quit my job? It's my only source of income for when I get kicked out. I'd really like to be able to eat and afford a car and maybe even a place to sleep. Plus, I had to fight for months before I was allowed to get it.
Do I stop completing my college assignments? dad would kill me (not literally). I must keep up on college, I'm laying the base for my life.

There is literally nothing I can give up. Giving up sleep obviously isn't an option, I'm not getting anywhere near enough already. And more and more stuff keeps piling on my plate for when I do have a bit of time.
There is nothing I can give up. I must keep fighting until I win or I break.

[ZielZorix]

Sounds like you're really pushing yourself. You're working way too hard, and from what you've just said it's having a bad effect in your health. You can't keep this up Rocco, you're going to make yourself sick or worse. You NEED to take a break, It's not an option anymore. I know that your dad doesn't understand, but please find a way to get some rest. You're literally working yourself to death.

Absolutely.  It took me a long time to realize, because I don't like hurting people, that there are time when you just have to say "Screw everyone else!" and take some time for yourself.  You are at that moment.  You need to do it for your health if nothing else.

[Cecilia Peromi]

Rocco... If you keep going like this it's not gonna end well... I know you don't have a lot of options. I know that you've been struggling at this for a long time... But this isn't good Rocco, please, do something, take a cat nap, take a day off, please. This is life and death we're talking about here.

[Rocco Rex]

Ziel, I already said screw everyone else. There have been multiple times my very close friends needed me, but I had to ignore them. One even had a friend that was suicidal. Thankfully it ended well, but there was nothing I could do. Boy that hurt.

Cecilia, I have no options. I can keep up this unhuman tempo and everything might go well, or I can cut my job or college, and either one will have massive consequences.
I can't take any quick naps because I wake up a few hours later, I've tried. Then I'm up later than usual trying to catch up. Whenever I get a day or part of a day I can relax, my family fills it up with something I have to do.
Let's just face it. I'm **censor**. The question is, how badly will it end? Thanks dad



Oh lovely. There was a personal project I had worked on a few months ago. It took me days. AND A YOUNGER BROTHER JUST DESTROYED IT EVEN THOUGH i HAD TOLD HIM NOT TO AND TO NOT MESS WITH IT AT ALL

[Shoon]

good luck Rocco, try and not brutalize him.

[Rocco Rex]

Thanks Shoon. And don't worry, I didn't brutalize him. I just chopped him up into little bitty brat bits 




Taking a look at the stuff due Thursday. A paper is one of the 9 assignments . Just what I needed.    Looks like I sleep tonight, but skip it tomorrow night. Or more likely, pass out again

[Jane]

I work hard to make my mother proud of me. At times it seems like it doesnt even matter, I feel like somethings always missing and that something isnt right. I just wish i could spend so much more.time with her even if it doesnt mean much to her.

[Panda]

I know this will eventually get better, but...for now, it hurts

[Rocco Rex]

I am so close. Midnight tomorrow, it's over. The worst will be over. I'll be able to FINALLY have a little to rest (except work). The problem? I can feel it. I'm about to break. I don't know how exactly, but I'm about to break. I am so **censor** close. I've fought so hard for so long. I can't give out now. I must continue. Work on college unti work today, come home and work until I pass out, work on college tomorrow until work, go to work, come home and work until 11:59 PM, when stuff id sue, and it's over.
I can't break now. Just one more inhuman push. I 've got to do it

[Sarani123]

Art is really groovy to do, but I feel like me cranking out all these pieces come solely from me having bad feelings, and focusing my energy on making something.
Believe me, this is an incredibly helpful method, and it's a great alternative to other ways of dealing with depression and such..
But I barely remember the last time I've made art just because I felt like it, or I thought it's pretty. It almost seems like my paintbrush is a safety blanket, and I really don't want to have that kind of relationship with something I love, or at least used to.