"I always thought
I'd make it
But never knew I'd
Let it get so bad
Living with myself
Is all I have
I feel numb
I can't come to life
I feel like
I'm frozen in time
Living in a
World so cold
Wasting away
Living in a shell
With no soul"
"I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream.
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean.
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright."
I never thought I could feel this bad about my life... It's like every time I try to do better, something gets in my way and pulls me under. My family is shattered like frail glass, and my childhood was wasted; for what..? I haven't the slightest idea why I had to be wrapped up in this; it may be life, but does that mean I cannot show remorse over the events..? And I'm not even looking back that far; all of this crap from my past effects the present. I never get to see my siblings, my Dad lives in the middle of the country, my Mom hates me, my Grandparents are my caretakers, and because of what happened in my family... I've spent seven years as an "adult." From eleven to eighteen... I have done nothing but deliberate, and why? Because I had to choose a parent?! Feh, sometimes I wonder what I should have really done with my life...
Blah, blah, blah; angst, discontent and shit like that. Feh, whatever. Just gonna spend my time helping others...