'Newbie, if the next two words out of your mouth arn't see ya, the third will be my crotch, my god, you punched me in the crotch.' Dr Perry Cox - Scrubs
'Now, normally I don't listen to Clara, or my doctor, but her story was giving me a good feeling in my lumpy, lumpy testicle.' ~ Captain Hero ~ Drawn Together
'And then my master flew to the moon on a rocket of flame and cheese. I LIKE CHEESE!' - GIR - Invader Zim
'I don't spank my kids, don't need to, I find waving the gun around get the point across well enough.' - Denis Leary
'And so God said, put on the ***Auto-Censor*** hat. Put it on you *****. I'm god, I say its hat time.' - Eric Riley Moore
'How shall we **** off, O'Lord?' - John Cleese - Monty Pythons Life Of Brian
'Have the Rolling Stones Killed.
But, sir, those wern't...
DO AS I SAY!!' - Smithers and Mr. Burns - The Simpsons
'STOP BREAKING THE LAW *******!!!' ~ Jim Carry ~ Liar, Liar
'Step into my office.'
'Why?'
'Cause you're ***Auto-Censor*** fired!' ~ Ben Stiller and hitchhiker ~ There's Something About Mary
'I need a man with a tattoo on his d***! Have I got the right man?'
'By a strange conincadence, you do sir...' ~ Kelsey Grammar & Rip Torn ~ Down Perascope
'My mother always used to tell me, little Gatsy, its not the number of **** you have its what you do with them.'
'Yes, good mum your mum, and she knew ****.'
'Yeah, Gatsy's mum's hey, god her rest soul... Oh, she's not dead, just dirty.' ~ Scod, Yon and Gatsey ~ Tripod
'When I was young if someone brandished a shrink gun he got a little respect... SHRINK GUN!' ~ Reducto ~ Harvey Birdman Atterney at Law
'Whats he got that I havn't got?'
'Your girlfriend!' ~ Edd Egg & Straight Guy ~ Apocalxmas Pt 2
'But sir, its artistic liscence! Its willing suspention of disbelief!'
'I'm not having anyone staring in disbelief at my willy suspention!' ~Hugh Lorie & Rowin Atkinson ~ Blackadder season 4
'Its 160 miles to Chicargo. We got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigerettes, its dark and we're wearing sunglasses.'
'Hit it.' ~ Jake & Elwood Blues ~ The Blues Brothers
'Okay, we've combined both knobs into one convienent nipple. I'm sorry, nipple. I'm sorry, nipple. I'm sorry!' Phil ~ Better Off Ted season 2
"Renaissance fairs arn't about historical accurancy. Its about taking chubby girls who work at Kinkos and lacing them up in corsettes so tight thier bossom jumps out and says 'Howdy!'"
"Bossoms wouldn't have said 'Howdy!' in the 15th century. If anything they would have said, 'Hazzah!'"
"I don't care what the bossoms say, Sheldon, I just want to be apart of the conversation." Sheldon & Howard ~ Big Bang Theory season 2
"Oh great! Now we've stolen two babies!"
"Now is not the time, we must run with the speed of a thousand gazelles!" Frank and Col ~ The Adventures of Lano & Woodley season 2
"If anybody wants me, I'll be in the angery dome!" ~ Professor Farnsworth ~ Futurama season 5
"I was once in arcade, the machine said I won a free game. So, I took a pinball machine." ~ Cornfed ~ Duckman Season 4
Partial Censoring is not allowed. Also I would like to remind you to keep the quotes clean.
~Tezztor