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Author Topic: Drake's Writing Thread!!  (Read 4976 times)

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Mr.Mustard

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Re: First chapter of a short story of mine!
« Reply #15 on: January 28, 2011, 02:53:30 AM »
I love the 'journal' style of this... I can't wait for the rest!  :)

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Re: First chapter of a short story of mine!
« Reply #16 on: January 28, 2011, 03:38:13 AM »
NEW SECTION IS FINALLY FINISHED!!! I hafta warn you guys there's a bit of profanity towards the end, but I've censored it out of respect for the mods :3 enjoy, this has to have been the most fun to write out of everything yet! :D

I woke up sweating with the voice echoing still in my head. I tilted my head to listen, all was quiet. The music (did I really hear music?) had faded into silence. I looked at the clock and saw that three hours had passed, it must have been a nightmare.
   Then why was it so real? The thought permeated my mind.
   I slid off the bed and found that my suitcase had already been transferred to my room, Mom must have been kind enough to take care of my luggage. I hurried out of the room as if the (Reaper) thing of my nightmares was still at my feet and I slid down the master staircase. I heard human activity coming from a hallway to my right and I found myself in the dining room.
   Seated around the table was my family, eating some leftover pizza probably found in the kitchen's pantry. My father seemed to be on a non-drunken rant about the locale.
   "Damn rednecks," my dad growled, "nothing but rednecks in that town. They actually scoffed at me when I asked where the damn pay phone was while I was down there."
   "C'mon Grant, it can't be all that bad," my mother retorted, "what with the snow tomorrow, we won't have to deal with your so-called 'rednecks' again!"
   Snow? I pricked an ear. Looks like isolation would be coming sooner than I thought. My mother, adequately annoyed by my dad's irritability, stood up and went over to the sink pressing her hand over her head.
   "Damn altitude," she muttered, "giving me the headache of my life..."
   Come to think of it, she did look a bit pale and drawn. Perhaps she was tired from the trip, or coming down with a little flu. Nothing that she couldn't handle. I didn't feel like dealing with my family's bitterness, so I decided to skip food for the night and search around the house.
   Once again I ascended the grand master staircase and quickly strode past my bedroom door. That dream, it still was imprinting itself on my waking life. I shook my head and promptly bumped into a ladder that I hadn't seen in front of me.
   I stumbled backwards. What the hell? Who left this ladder down like this? Must have been my father, poking around while I was asleep. My natural curiosity was piqued and I climbed the ladder only to find myself in a dank and dark attic room.
   Books were littered all over the floor, their ornately designed covers glinting in the little sunlight coming from a filthy skylight. I kicked around a few of the books. All seemed to be in fair condition, the last caretaker must have kept them safe from the ravages of time. That service certainly wouldn't be provided by Grant Tyler.
   I reached into the pile of books and pulled out a blank one. I flipped through the pages, there was nothing written anywhere in this book but on the first page, and the only thing there was the initials "Z.T.".
   Z.T.? I thought, quite the odd initials, and then it hit me, this was the never-started diary of Zacharia Tyler himself. I was holding a piece of family history in my hands, no matter how incomplete it was.
   An old yellow pencil was littered on the floor nearby, left by someone from a generation long-forgotten. Strange, I wondered, it's almost like someone or something wants me to write in this book. I brushed off that odd speculation, I'd been having a lot of those lately.
   I sat down on the dusty floor, flipped to the first blank page in the diary and began to write the words, "December 1, 1977. Found this journal just lying up in the attic..."
   As I wrote the words, outside the night sky was a nightmarish black and the first hint of snow began to fall from the sky. A storm was beginning...



December 2, 1977
   It's funny how when new things come into your life, dreams always follow. First there was that nightmare and now this....
   I remember being in the attic looking over everything I had written when I found myself in a ballroom. No, not just a ballroom, THE Ballroom. The one on the ground floor of the Tyler Manor.
   When I had gone there yesterday in waking life, I had found it a giant austere room, it may have once hosted greatness and beauty but now it was just chilly and filthy. But now the greatness was back!
   I was on the balcony at the far end of the Ballroom, and below me on the Ballroom floor danced dozens of couples, all dressed in post-war clothing. Smoke clouded the air as the ladies daintily smoked cigarettes and the men gnawed on cigars.
   I felt a presence behind me and I turned to find myself staring at a middle-aged man with jet black hair with streaks of gray through it. He was dressed in the grandest suit of them all. The suit was a handsome affair, with large brass buttons lining the front and a monocle swung in front of the man's chest.
   "Ah, you are enjoying my celebration are you not?" the man spoke to me.
   I found strength in the midst of my astonishment to reply, "of course, it's very...grand." I felt foolish as those words left my mouth. This wasn't a place for people like me, only the privileged and the self-disciplined belonged here. They were posh, every one of them.
   "Yes, it was a terrible war, but in the end it turned profit! In the end that is all that matters is it not old chap?" the man congenially ignored my lack of class.
   War? I thought, what war is he referring to.. and then the realization struck me. This was none other than Zachariah Tyler I was talking to. But he was long-dead! No, this was his day and age, the post-war boom, following World War Two and Zachariah had lost his son recently.
   A twinge of sadness seemed to pass into Zachariah's eyes, perhaps he was trying to forget the newly dead Keith. Realizing his sadness was coming back to him, Zachariah hastened to change the subject.
   "Now young man! I must go and mingle with the crowd! They expect a good time and that is what I must give them!" Zachariah glided away from me into the crowd.
   A woman separated herself from the crowd and ascended the grand stairs. Her eyes were focused on me. She wore a blazingly white evening dress and jeweled rings decorated her fingers.
   The mystery woman finished her ascent and approached me. I stayed silent, no words were passed between us. As if something out of my control was driving me I walked forward to meet this new enigma and embraced her.
   She accepted my grasp and our lips met just as the clock struck midnight....

   I flashed awake in shock. The dream had been so real, just like my experience in my room. Daylight glowed through the skylights of the attic, I had been up here all night. My pencil was still grasped in my right hand, but it was worn down to uselessness. Almost as if I had been writing extremely hard with it, but I hadn't...
   My eyes fell upon the previously blank page of my journal. Scrawled across the page in handwriting that was crazed and almost unreadable were the words...

Reaper....gonna kill them,
gonna f*cking kill them...gonna destroy them..
smash their skulls, burn 'em...Reaper....
won't f*cking leave me alone..Reaper...
getting closer...no,
Reaper...
Reaper...
REAPER!

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Offline Tim Siguire

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Re: First chapter of a short story of mine!
« Reply #17 on: January 31, 2011, 06:29:11 AM »
I love the 'journal' style of this... I can't wait for the rest!  :)
i like it too.
man, drake. just reding good stories makes me wanna type up my own, but im afraid it wont be big enough.... 8(

so i dont....
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Re: First chapter of a short story of mine!
« Reply #18 on: March 18, 2011, 11:11:01 PM »
sorry for breaking the.......21 day rule. But drake you asked me a while ago if I wanted to read it and I said yes and now I read it and it is AWESOME.
Totally creepy here. And I feel like I am reading something Dean Koontz would write. You know? It's......suspenseful, and curious. and interesting. AND MORE PLEASE.
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Re: First chapter of a short story of mine!
« Reply #19 on: March 19, 2011, 11:53:02 PM »
more will come when I resolve the stuff going on in my life, all my writing is on my laptop aaannnnnd my mom has it D:
(ikerochu gave me permission to un-necro this thread anyways)
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Re: First chapter of a short story of mine!
« Reply #20 on: April 16, 2011, 06:47:13 PM »
new update finally! it's kind of crap but I felt i had to do something to update it, so...i hope you enjoy :D

I stood at the mouth of the mausoleum trying to forget what I had written here not two hours ago. After I had witnessed these depraved writings, I shut the journal in a nervous sweat and went downstairs.
   My mother was sitting at the kitchen table, looking worse for wear. Her once flushed and colorful skin was now shockingly pale and she seemed withdrawn.
   "Nothing but a little cold from this damn mountain weather," she reassured me, seeing my concern.
   I decided that it was necessary to leave the mansion, too many bad things had already happened in this place for me to stay cooped up in here before the winter snows trapped me in with my fears. I hiked out to the graveyard of ancient Tylers that resided on the side of a hill. The view of the graveyard may have been considered pretty in the summertime, but now in the dead of winter (well it wasn't wintertime yet but it very well may have been) the graveyard served only as a grim reminder of the fate of death.
   I walked among the rows of graves. Not all of those buried here were Tylers, not by any stretch of the imagination. Most were cherished friends of the Tyler family who wished to have the honor to be buried among the legacy of the Tylers.
   Many angry souls were interred here as well, many of the so-called "friends" buried here were merely bootlickers, trying to get a cut of the family fortune. Zachariah was well aware of this fact and as an ironic joke had them buried amongst the very people the "friends" were trying to bring down.
   An old waltz song rose from the portable radio I kept in my pocket. Strange, I frowned, usually I had this thing set to a rock n' roll station. I checked the setting, nope it was still on the same station. Maybe the DJ was having an off day.
   The sky began to cloud over as I sat down on a stone bench near the mausoleum. The radio suddenly rose in volume. I slapped it, what was it doing? I took out a pack of Marlboros and shook out a single cigarette to pass the time, and as I lit it and rose to go back to the manor, I felt a presence at my back.
   The radio crackled in a sinister way, and for a second I heard what sounded like voices coming through the static. Almost as if this waltz were a recording of a gala event, rather than just a studio recording.
   I turned to see what had sparked my attention and the cigarette fell from my trembling hands as I saw what was there to greet me.
   A statue of none other than the Reaper itself from my dreams stood there with its arms out as if to greet me.
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Mr.Mustard

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Re: First chapter of a short story of mine!
« Reply #21 on: April 16, 2011, 06:53:15 PM »
Keep it coming! I love it so far!
Brotip: You might want to space out you're paragraphs a bit. It'll be a lot easier to read that way.

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Re: First chapter of a short story of mine!
« Reply #22 on: April 16, 2011, 06:54:53 PM »
yes, i'm sorry, i'm kind of dumb at formatting today X3
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Re: First chapter of a short story of mine!
« Reply #23 on: May 15, 2011, 12:30:01 AM »
I can tell you get your influences from Stephen King.

My suggestion- it doesn't sound like a first person description. When I'm thinking/writing to myself I don't describe myself in that manner. However it's very good. I'm sad you've never showed these to me, not even when I'm stoned  B)  0:)

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Re: First chapter of a short story of mine!
« Reply #24 on: May 27, 2011, 10:26:05 PM »
unrelated to the story, but I was bored so I wrote a little thing for my novel in the works. it's a description of my character falling off a roof (dark I know XD)
http://zguidetoeverything.blogspot.com/2011/05/tiny-excerpt.html
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Re: First chapter of a short story of mine!
« Reply #25 on: May 29, 2011, 01:38:44 AM »
Drakey, Drakey, Drakey! I just read through... Man, you're good bro.
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Re: Drake's Writing Thread!!
« Reply #26 on: May 29, 2011, 06:27:32 AM »
thread has been retitled to be more appropriate to its purpose :D
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Re: Drake's Writing Thread!!
« Reply #27 on: May 29, 2011, 06:29:41 AM »
Very effective!
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Re: Drake's Writing Thread!!
« Reply #28 on: May 30, 2011, 11:38:53 PM »
Hell of a way to tell a tale man. Your usage of parenthesis is very unique indeed, but lends a realistic "sound" of digression with inner thoughts. I'm very impressed, and you do well with architectural descriptions; I'm lacking in such a department. Overall a very great story, and a great start!

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Re: Drake's Writing Thread!!
« Reply #29 on: May 30, 2011, 11:42:11 PM »
Thank you so much! ^_^ this damn story has taken me months to finish but with any luck I can be completely done by the end of the summer
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