ex mate vs mate

[MinxKitty]

So.. I got with my current mate, while me and my ex wernt talking..  We were together for 2 years a while back,a dn we disided tog et back together, even though its now a long distance relationship..  Everything was fine for the first 3 weeks.. Then I got drunk and started texting my ex, who is again, once of my good friends again now, which im really happy about.. However... Who is he, and the way he makes me feel, i know my current mate could never even come close..
No offence to my current mate, but im not even sure im in love with him now.. I know that sounds mean, but its true... I hate when he tells me he loves me, and im going to see him in a few hours, and ive not even started getting ready...
I spent 5/6 evenings with my ex, going cinema, watching films, going for drives.. And I felt happy, i didnt smoke as much, i wasnt struggling not to hurt myself, i felt strong though all the stress and like i could deal with it on my own and didnt have to resort to family or killing myself... No ones ever made me feel like that! Its hard to walk away, even if he is still a friend...
Its not just that though, its the intelligent conversation, his advice, his understanding, his honesty, the way he doesnt baby me.. He's a furry, we're into the same Yiff, and he really treats me amazing in that sort of way.. I feel like i can tell him anything, as much as i worry before i tell him something new, i always tell him.. He's the only person who knows literally everything about me...  Plus, he's extremely hot! lol... That always helps
How can i ever find someone like that! How can i accept my current mate and be happy with him, knowing there is better out there... Is there any point in relationships when you cant have who you want?!.. Is there a point in keeping this one going, if in the end im going to turn around and say 'i love someone else'...
Im really hoping i can love my mate again.. Its going to hurt him so bad if i dont, I really care for him... He should be everything i want, but he just doesnt seem good enough anymore ...

Advice please furs?
Am i just a bad person? I feel like it x

[WhiteTiger89]

My heart really goes out to you Minx, it really does. I don't believe people can help who they truly love. I think the first thing you need to do is take a good, hard look at what you really want, and who can best give you that. Once you know that, you need to be honest with all parties involved. I once found myself in a situation where even though I was already with someone, I found myself powerfully attracted to another girl, and because I wasn't honest with anyone, including myself, the situation got far worse than it needed to.

[Kin Kitsune]

My advice? Don't date either of them.

It's not fair to your current mate that you don't return his feelings, unless you two started dating with the knowledge that you weren't over your last. He deserves your honest effort, or to be spared the trouble.

I'm also assuming you broke up with your ex for a reason. Remember that reason, and that it's almost 100% not gonna change. Take time away from him if you need to.

There's always more out there, and the heart is resilient. Just give it time to heal without signing yourself up for drama.

[Gothy]

My advice? Don't date either of them.

This exactly. Your current mate deserves your best effort and it's not fair to him that you don't really love him because you still have feelings for your ex.

[MinxKitty]

My current mate knows im probably not over my ex.. Me and my ex broke up because he was constantly hot cold with me.. I know it would never work between us, he's not a relationship guy, where as i defiantly am a relationship girl.. 
However my current mate is everything i ever wanted.. I think its just the transition from one to the other maybe.. We went to the pub last night and i really did enjoy myself... I'm scared of ending this, incase it really is what i want from life... He's always been so good to me...
I know i dont deserve that, which is probably where my problem is coming from, cause my ex never treated like my mate does "/..
I'm so confused, i dont want to do anything rash...

[Puncia]

Be open with your current mate about it and tell him how you feel. If I were him, I'd appreciate that you were this trusting and honest about it. It's better than leaving him to suspicion anyhow.

If he is everything you ever wanted, and you are happy with him, why risk it to be with someone else that you're not even sure things will work out with? Call me old fashioned here but the grass is always greener on the other side...

[MinxKitty]

Im beginning to hate grass xx

[WingedZephyr]

My advice? Don't date either of them.

This exactly. Your current mate deserves your best effort and it's not fair to him that you don't really love him because you still have feelings for your ex.

I agree with these two.

[Gelidus]

You already have my opinion on the matter. I just hope everything turns out ok...

[MinxKitty]

Thank you babe!! you're amazing

xx

[Drago Strega]

  I agree that you should be honest with your present mate. I understand your feelings and maybe the time you spent apart from your ex did change things for the both of you and now you're finally seeing each other better than you did then. But you should really discuss your feelings with your mate to give him a fair chance instead of just going out with another guy without his knowledge of what's really going on. Cuz if you really care about your mate you'll should talk with him, and if worse comes to worse you say your goodbyes and part ways.
But don't jump to conclusions before you've properly evaluated the situation, otherwise you'll just cause unnecessary grief which won't help you or your mate.

[MinxKitty]

Thank you darling x

[Drago Strega]

Your welcome, take care of yourself and good luck with your mate or whatever path you wish to pursue.

[x]

I'm ages late to this party but...

If you want advice from a succubi....

If your mate doesn't make you happy, why are you still with him? That's not fair to either of you. Break up asap. I've been though plenty of men, and the moment I realized they weren't the one for me I dropped them like it's hot. It's better you break up sooner than later so you don't hurt him....as much.

Really, there's no point whatsoever in being in a relationship that doesn't make both of you happy.

If I didn't love my current mate to death, and he didn't make me feel that the world was all right just by talking to him, he would have been flung ages ago. There is someone out there who is perfect for you, and you will feel that in your heart when you meet and be together. Until then, no reason to get committed.

When I  started dating my mate, I let him know that I wasn't going to commit to men until I knew he fit my heart perfectly....and then he did fit perfect, I let him know he was the only one and I won't trade him for anything.

[MinxKitty]

No one makes me happy though because I have such bad depression...
I do love my mate.. We were together for 2 years and he was my world, really hurt me when we broke up... I have a feeling all this is going through my head just because I'm scared of being hurt again ...