So.. I got with my current mate, while me and my ex wernt talking.. We were together for 2 years a while back,a dn we disided tog et back together, even though its now a long distance relationship.. Everything was fine for the first 3 weeks.. Then I got drunk and started texting my ex, who is again, once of my good friends again now, which im really happy about.. However... Who is he, and the way he makes me feel, i know my current mate could never even come close..
No offence to my current mate, but im not even sure im in love with him now.. I know that sounds mean, but its true... I hate when he tells me he loves me, and im going to see him in a few hours, and ive not even started getting ready...
I spent 5/6 evenings with my ex, going cinema, watching films, going for drives.. And I felt happy, i didnt smoke as much, i wasnt struggling not to hurt myself, i felt strong though all the stress and like i could deal with it on my own and didnt have to resort to family or killing myself... No ones ever made me feel like that! Its hard to walk away, even if he is still a friend...
Its not just that though, its the intelligent conversation, his advice, his understanding, his honesty, the way he doesnt baby me.. He's a furry, we're into the same Yiff, and he really treats me amazing in that sort of way.. I feel like i can tell him anything, as much as i worry before i tell him something new, i always tell him.. He's the only person who knows literally everything about me... Plus, he's extremely hot! lol... That always helps
How can i ever find someone like that! How can i accept my current mate and be happy with him, knowing there is better out there... Is there any point in relationships when you cant have who you want?!.. Is there a point in keeping this one going, if in the end im going to turn around and say 'i love someone else'...
Im really hoping i can love my mate again.. Its going to hurt him so bad if i dont, I really care for him... He should be everything i want, but he just doesnt seem good enough anymore
...
Advice please furs?
Am i just a bad person? I feel like it
x